Is It HSP or BPD?

Have you ever felt emotions so intensely that a beautiful sunset brings you to tears or a crowded room leaves you drained? Today, we explore the worlds of Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Both experience deep emotions and social sensitivity, often fearing abandonment. However, while HSPs generally regulate their emotions well and form deep, meaningful connections, people with BPD struggle with emotional regulation, leading to tumultuous relationships and a fragile sense of self. Understanding these differences can help you better navigate your emotional landscape or support someone you care about. Join us to delve deeper into these fascinating emotional experiences.

Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award-winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 20 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.

He has published several articles and books in these areas and is the author of:

Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:

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00:00 Introduction
01:20 What is HSP?
01:37 What is BPD?
02:22 Similarity - Emotional Intensity
03:05 Similarity - Social Sensitivity
04:31 Similarity - Fear of Abandonment
06:41 Difference - Emotional Regulation
07:15 Difference - Relationships
10:37 Difference - Self-Esteem
13:30 Causes - Genetic Component vs Early Experience

[SandraLargaes]

Appreciate this video! I’m in my 30s now but when i was in my early 20s I was impulsive and reactive. My parents divorced and growing up with a bipolar dad really took a toll on my life. It wasn’t until the pandemic that I started to become aware of my lifelong sensitivity to sensory overload and hyper sensitive to injustice. I became vegetarian and then vegan 15 years ago for this reason and it changed my life for the better bc i began to live in alignment w/ my value system. My therapist then introduced me to being an empath and HSP. I found myself on a self discovery journey, and finally able to understand why I’ve always felt different. Ive dated both stable and emotionally unstable men who most likely had BPD. The differences were very apparent - their explosive outbursts, splitting, and addictive tendencies/ self harm and abnormal attachment styles/idealizing people. One of the guys would show up to my place unannounced after I broke up and knock on my windows and beg me to open my door. It was a scary experience. But to be clear the other guy I dated with bpd didn’t do those things but he did make me feel guilty or bad if I didn’t say what he wanted to hear or if I made a small joke and he misinterpreted it. Anyway, it’s been a journey and have recently realized that the path for HSP and bpd can easily cross and be confused. Somewhere along the way I’m grateful I learned mindfulness techniques like, how to set clear boundaries and how to regulate my emotions. It changed my life for the better. I hope this helps someone else who is on their HSP journey ❤

[bryanmccaffrey]

This explained most of my life. I can say learning emotional maturity and regulation helps a lot... Somatic therapy is like magic.

[Saraflowerk]

I can see how being sensitive can be confused with BPD. But the splitting, fear of abandonment, extreme thinking, etc. are mostly a BPD feature.

[matthewishunting]

I got your new Guided BPD journal and I'm enjoying it so far. My life is so flippy-floppy and this journal feels like it will unflip-my flop! <3

[derekmorcom]

Jeez, I’ve known for a decade that I’m an HSP with an anxious attachment style but realizing I’m also quiet borderline has provided a huge missing piece to everything

[jessicapatton]

Yes! This is me. I get accused of being dramatic by my invalidating mother. 😕she would accuse me of being overly confident when I’m actually feeling insecure. It hurts to not feel understood!
I don’t feel much of the positives of emotion. I have anhedonia that has plagued me for 20 years now. Sometimes I feel a lack of emotions like I have a black hole of emptiness in me. Sometimes my “highest emotion” is agitation. And sometimes I’m am very sensitive too. All of it is a bit confusing. Most of the time I respond with a deep sadness even to happy things like something is actually broken in there.
Thank you for all the free help you provide!! You definitely help people.

[hummingbird]

Im highly sensitive and have cptsd. It’s a horrible combination! I’m so sorry for anyone that has this personality type, life will always be a struggle without good people understanding who we are who are willing to accept us and love us as we are

[Kattpt]

Thanks for sharing your knowledge!! Your clients are so lucky to have someone who really knows their stuff

[stupud]

I got adhd, asd and bpd. I mask so much that most ppl just think im an a hole . Im not, it's just everything hurts. It always hurts

[Parandros]

A working theory I've heard recently is that BPD is nothing more than a disregulated form of HSP, where in times of severe stress or after enduring trauma, BPD presents, and as its classified as "curable" it can recede as regulation is managed. Leaving you with the presenting HSP. A person "cured" of BPD still retains all of the hypersensitivity traits that they had, but no longer technically have when they dont have enough of the 8 anymore. Im not sure of the validity of it, but as someone who has been through some stuff, i like to feel its true.

[kristybecraft]

My best friend who has BPD tendencies lived with me almost 3 years. He got triggered by me setting a boundary. He decided to move out within three weeks and I've barely heard from him since. He thought me setting the boundary meant I was abandoning him. I'm an HSP. So his leaving like that hurt but I'm managing. It's bad because I absolutely adore him and got used to him being around.

[SachinManagama]

I have BPD (under medications ) but i still get terrifying hallucinations .How to manage this? Its very distressing and i cant study at night and early morning .Help?

[HoàngNgân-nh]

I think I am a HSP had BPD. Now I see that my HSP trait helped me manage BPD symptoms. My mother has BPD due to being the scapegoat in her family, I had BPD due to being scapegoated by her and her family (my ext fam).
I was very impulsive and emotionally unstable and develop many strategies to manage that. Deep down, I still have the HSP tendecy of solving problems with intuition. I got attached to people easily, but I still can judge their character right (objectively)- and stay away from bad one. My self-image and identity was unstable but i managed my self-image with my rational mind.
My mother, was very unpredictable, highly unreasonable, always feel unsafe and always rely on people to regulate her emotion.

[Givethanks-]

I have a therapist. and she never asked any questions about my childhood. I do not feel a connection with her. I want to heal. HSP, BPD and NPD are in my core. I am struggling to make sense of it all. I would love to find someone who can guide me through healing process

[OriginalMariAnnaWolf]

Do both feel physical pain like chest ache, or even dizziness?

[autumnbrooke]

Can it be both ❤. Thank you for what you do

[shahilagh]

This is helpful. I m highly HSP but I can regulate . But I think my sister is all about herself and sensitive and can break apart things. I never did … I never saw her for six years in two continents but she still tells bad things behind me about things I never did … I still Iove her despite the challenges I have in my life but I wish she never sees me anymore to be as bad as she described

[katieg]

I'm biased towards thinking about it in an attachment way, but the reality is that it's impossible to really know and that there might be things we just don't know about yet or don't even know to ask about yet. But if you think about our nervous system as being regulated by our relationship with an early attachment figure, you can think about it like having an umbrella to weather the storms of life. We are social beings and that early attunement is necessary for us to internalize an accurate version of ourselves and our internal experience. It might be that people with a sensitive temperament pick up things in the environment that a more stoic temperament might discard. Or it might be that in an environment of emotional deprivation, a person might develop a heightened drive towards sensitivity in order to receive any morsel of attunement they can get, like a person becomes more hungry in environments without food, if they didn't they would not have the drive to find food and they would starve. I'm curious to see what developments are coming with the research, in the meantime I go to therapy and DBT because let's face it, it's rough either way lol.

[lisaoutinen]

I thought the big thing about HSP is overstimulation from well stimuli and less to do with the emotions side.

[MyValki]

I have both Hyper Empathy (Syndrome) and superficial emotions. 6:32 Seperating intensity and regulation is a promising answer, I seem to have excessive regulation to the point of looking like a psychopath.