Aggression & Emptiness in NPD | FRANK YEOMANS

Frank Yeomans describes why a person with NPD often feels empty. It turns out something within them destroys their own efforts to grow into a full-blown person.

We talked with Frank Yeomans about Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

Frank Yeomans is an expert clinician who makes use of Transference-Focused Psychotherapy in his practice treating NPD and BPD. In fact, he co-wrote the manual on TFP for Borderline Personality Disorder!

[LXSeaV]

Jesus, these are the most insightful videos I've ever seen on narcissism. And a lot of us can relate to parts of it. My mom repeatedly shamed me for wanting to play piano in what was probably just a projection of her own failure to excel in music. I still really want to play, but it's hard because I can hear her voice and it's similar to what he just described. I have managed to excel in other fields, but it's amazing how hard it's been to overcome the vicious things I hear in my head when I want to sit down and get more comfortable playing piano. I have these little successful windows of time where I can muster some practice, progress with a song or my skills, but then it closes up again. It's hard to stay consistent with that voice there.

[accordionSWE]

What hurts most is that some of the persons that say no to everything have no ambition in their life. It is hard for a child who wants to learn about and discover all that is to be found in the world.

[gauritiwari]

Please post more of Dr Yeoman’s videos!! All the therapists on your channel are excellent but Dr Yeomans explains psychodynamic concepts with amazing clarity. He’s also extremely articulate ❤

[lani]

Absolutely mind blowing 😳… trying to understand my husband is so much easier when this beautiful human being breaks everything down so well !

[jiminy_cricket]

Frank is here describing what other theorists have termed the "ego-destructive super-ego", or sadistic/persecutory super-ego (though the first phrasing gets at the problem it creates more clearly).

[KoolT]

Faith in a loving higher power helps this feeling and community volunteering.

[JacyraIgaci]

this photography is STUNNIIIING, please tell me who made this video

[brynleytalbot]

I can identify this emptiness within me but it’s the product of a parent praising my narcissistic brothers minor achievements whilst demeaning mine as simply expected, due to his dyslexia rendering him a supply source for her saviour complex, basically abandoning me and my issues when his problem was identified. I’ve spent my life feeling detached, something a psychologist identified as autism, Aspergers, in my fifties. The lack of impetus and a negative mindset over trying is also a sign of learned helplessness, something the narcissist fosters within their victims, taking control over their lives. I think the shortness of this clip removes much of the context around it.

[rebeccadolashewich]

Thanks for sharing your understandings, it truly helps. ✨🕊💖🙏🏼✨

[carterhaughbooks]

But is it some mysterious fragment of the indivdual's own flawed personality, soul, psyche, or whatever? Or is it a message from one of that person's parents or even grandparents, being transmitted through the family generations, often passive-aggressively? (E.g., "WE don't waste time with things like ART, WE are smart people, WE choose respectable, high-paying careers in [name the soul-killing job choice].)

[fierypickles]

This is probably the reason for me never getting ahead in the various hobbies i have, despite having some aptitude in it and enjoying it. Its a cycle of going back to zero when you try something for a while. A hard reset

[timhuffmaster]

I frequently catch myself saying, “That was Stupid”. Now I say, “Well, that was silly, try again”. This is after the death of my narcissistic husband four months ago. I have been trying to search for, “What happens to the remaining spouse in a same sex relationship after the death of a narcissistic spouse?” I find nothing. It always results in a male female relationship. I’d love some input from others in my situation but every answer is, “I was so relieved after they died. I had a similar response but it was fleeting.

[vrzM]

How do we reconcile this with Dr Yeomans' clinical anecdote about the girl who wanted to be a movie exec? Enormous ambition vs dismissiveness?

[katadam]

So parents and adults stifle children and some to the point of staying a child with tantrums and out burst or they stay hidden in fear

[TomeRodrigo]

I don't agree very much on this one. If you struggle with such thoughts in your own head, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are a narcissist and you have NPD aggression in yourself. You can have NPD introjects from parent/s or the environment where you grew up, which can be bullying you in your own head, and it's not part of your "inner family system", but it is an additional introject that doesn't belong there. You can also have these types of thoughts when you've tried to succeed in life, and nothing worked for you, so your brain is using anger, shame or whatever ugly emotion in order to repel you from doing certain actions (as these actions were not successful in the past). You can feel very empty when you see yourself as valuable only if you are achieving something (damage from a narc parent or environment) and you are not achieving anything at the moment. But again, that doesn't mean that you have NPD, but you were very likely abused by NPD, and that affected your self-perception and how you value yourself.

[laurenphillips]

Trying to use this for my dissertation. Does anyone have a lit reference for this?

[patriciaalves]

I don't think I am narcissist but I see myself in this comment about sabotage anything I make. The last quarter of the video. And I feel that emptiness 😢

[CharlesBarret]

tssss keeping it real Dr. Yeomans!! superb conceptualization!

[akacute]

but it's hard to take any action if the person won't admit his or her emptiness and wrong track.

[ImpulsoCreativo]

I would live mpre narcissism videos with this therapist