I Don't Want Meetup.com 'Friends'

[MondayFAMonday]

Right around the 2:00 mark I think you're on to something here. People who are socially isolated are probably all doing similar things to escape and instead of hooking into networks of others who have good functioning social groups they end up around other socially isolated people. Which isn't completely bad, better to have one friend than no friends. But if you really want to escape I think you need to be around others who are having functional lives. Instead you end up around other people with not-so-functioning lives.

It goes back to what was said during the recorded call we did about how in high school / college when groups formed in class you basically ended up in the group of people who didn't have other people. Which, again, is better than nothing (unless those people are dragging you down of course), but the people who end up in those groups probably aren't the high performers or even mediocre performers.

So I suspect one of the immediate problems that socially isolated people face is that when they try to escape the immediate social world around them are probably not very functional people. It's other people who are probably socially isolated *for good reason*. It's people who are the crabs in a bucket or other dysfunctional types because all of the functional people are off having their functioning lives and all that's left over is a mess. Or something along those lines. But this is something I have to think about more.

[jeremiahembs]

Adult equivalent to going out into the woods is going out into the woods. It's called camping, hiking, fishing, hunting, shooting. It can be a little boring just sitting there so most guys use fishing as an excuse to be out in nature. And as my dad told me it's dangerous to go off alone in case you get hurt. So you have to take a friend when you do those kinds of things. But the city park is about as close as you can get to it in urban places. Grab a frisbee or football like you've got, grab a friend, grab some dogs and grill. Something like that.

[FlyingMonet]

I completely understand what you meant, most of my meetup.com experiences have been like that as well, but I also have some drinking stories that came out of meeting up for drinks with people on there lol. I'd say the adult version of meeting up at friends houses as a kid is primarily meeting up for alcohol

[SlickOnTop]

You should invite Monday over to your channel and make a few video podcasts with him.

[bearchildofdeath]

just because the meetup is about one subject does not mean that the people who attend are one-dimensional. they are full human beings. i guess it also is beneficial to think about what some meetup about X might also be related to, no area of interest exists in isolation. say you like cycling so you go to a cycling meetup. cycling is also about health, cooking, exploration, engineering, teamwork, solitude, etc etc. it's all connected innit

[erik]

The adult version of going to the woods and having an adventure is going to the woods to get high asf

[thegnarlyvagabond]

A psychologist doesn't "know" your issues, they help you introspect to guide you towards finding out what your own issues are.

[Nosferate_]

Dude I feel the same way about having multi dimensional friends. Like I can't even just show up to my moms house even though I have a house key and garage door opener. After I moved back home all the friends I thought I had just disappeared. Only real friends I have now are my Xbox live friends. Its enough though.

[gocardinals]

My experience with it has been good. Everyone just looking to go out and meet new people and do fun activities. I don’t see the problem.

[davemiller]

Meet-up.com is a complete cesspit. AVOID AT ALL COSTS.

[krissykatportal]

The adult version of having adventures in the woods, is having adventures in the woods but with alcohol or weed😎. Actually I dunno but I love outdoors.

[brandongovreau]

congratulations you found out what adult friends is

[climberis]

Well... friendships take time to develop. Of course most of the time you can’t just hang out with someone 1-4 times and be able to call and go over whenever. But there are male adult versions of going out into the woods like you were as a child though

[judgeholder]

I don’t want to use meetup because I don’t feel comfortable meeting strangers that I don’t know. I don’t think it’ll be safe for me. I’ve heard too many stories about people meeting others on dating apps and something bad happened. Like stranger danger or something.

[andrewtschuta]

It's never one big decision that sets you down this path it's all the little choices and mistakes you make which eventually add up that do. Also for your sake I would stay away from the female therapists and go see a male psychologist I think it would be a lot better for you as it was for me.