Want to win? Stop trying to beat other people | Kayvon Asemani | TEDxPenn

[excusemybeautytitiya]

I wasn’t normally this competitive or obsessed with being the best, I have good grades. But people started comparing me with a girl in my class and she passed me with few points like she is 4.86 and I’m 4.82 I mean really I’m grateful but I just don’t like the way I feel the need to pass her to be happy or called the best, which is why I’m here because this is not who I am😢

[zamarsteward]

I think ppl are competitive because deep down we all want to be admired and accepted. The moment we are put in a position where we must compete and do not have the necessary skills or resources to be the best or amongst the best, that admiration and acceptance is robbed from us immediately. Because we all have this strange mindset that if you are not the best you are not worthy of respect, recognition, or admiration. Its a paradox we cant get away from

[dicksonamani]

"You ain't never gon' be happy, till you love yours " he quoted Cole.👏👏

[loveapureheart]

I need to accept this. I get so sad and depressed cause I dont have what I want yet other ppl have what I want. I am learning to enjoy everyday life no matter what.

[hayan_]

Truly an eye opening session
1. How people perceived you, that ain't your fault. You're just a victim to their paradox of thinking. So don't try to prove others your worth, because they won't appreciate the seed until it's the tree they get benefitted from.

2. Comparing only brings unhappiness, so don't compare others blessings to your own. Accept your own blessings and keep watering your own garden.

3. Competition is an illusion, an excuse you give yourself to feel afraid. You're the competition. Be better at your field than who you were yesterday.

4. Life can be unfair. Be prepared. A soldier fights even if the battle wasn't won. Accept it and move on. 💕

[rashid]

commenting so YouTube recommends it to more people

[veronicarussell]

One of the best TED talks I have seen. He was genuine, down to earth, honest, not over practiced and had some great advice on how to change how we perceive things. Comparison is the thief of joy.

[TheMalena]

Kayvon, I really appreciated your message! I need to stop comparing myself to other family members and friends that have various degrees. Your path is definitely helping others, especially young people. You have a gift to help others who have also gone through such a horrific experience. I’m sorry about your mom, she is definitely proud of you!! Keep on striving and I pray for your happiness in life. God bless you Kayvon.

[leebtheloser]

Dunno who this fella is but other speakers should take note: if you can seem even HALF as genuine and down to earth as this guy then you will do well! :)

[suhani]

He talked in a modern way by teaching us a very ancestral lesson!

[samox]

Yes that's definitely right, You ain't gonna be happy if you're not aware of what you got

[raggamuffin]

This is how I think too, you have a choice everyday what thoughts you choose to give attention too.

[Hurtman]

‘Learn from it, deal with the consequences and move on’

[nPhlames]

This has a surprising low amount of views.

[FuerzaFits]

11:30 - mental clarity.
It means regardless of what is happening outside our minds, we are still happy

12:29 - Life is not about wanting what you want, but wanting what you have.

[alirami]

I feel this way. Its the pressure that's been put on me from others when they want more and more and more even when i don't want to compete it seems people arent happy until they leave you with nothing and even when you have nothing they still continue to compete with you and then they wonder why they aren't happy and most of them know this but it becomes an obsession of theirs to constantly be competing with others. It can become toxic, childish and problematic because they want anything and everything you have and they'll go to the lengths of even pretending to care about you just to manipulate you and hurt you. Competition can be healthy, but obsessing over it and trying to hurt others in the process is narcissistic and will only hurt your mental health

[ethangilbert]

the only possible way to have what you want is by wanting what you have. You will never have what you want unless you want what you have. Great ted talk

[reistde]

Kayvon, you And I share so much of the same story. You truly found the best in yourself and I strive to do the same. I try to live by your example and it’s my pleasure to call you a brother.

[lolitzshelly]

One of the most compelling Ted videos, thank you

[marimartinsx]

This video helped me so much! Thank you.

"Life is about wanting what you've always had"
Lesson learnt: Contentment is the giver of joy.

"Relative is negative."
Lesson learnt: Comparisons leaves us unhappy with ourselves. After all, your brain believes in your own potential.

"Retire your desire."

Lesson: Simplicity equates happiness even in our biggest endeavours.


:) Loved it