BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: DIAGNOSIS AND THE 9 TRAITS OF BPD. |DR . KIM SAGE|

FREE CHECKLIST: DO I HAVE NARCISSISTIC AND/OR BORDERLINE PARENTS?

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This video describes the symptom criteria for how we diagnose Borderline Personality Disorder as it is described in the DSM 5, as well as how it might "look" in loved ones or others who struggle with BPD, and what it might look like in a parent or partner.

Please check out my courses (LINK ABOVE):

1. BORDERLINE AND NARCISSISTIC PARENTS: HEALING AND DEALING WITH YOUR TRAUMA

(*This course is designed specifically for you if you were raised by parents who had Narcissistic, Borderline or significantly Emotionally Immature parents.)

2. RE-MOTHERED: TRANSFORM YOUR WOUNDED INNER CHILD INTO AN INTERNALIZED, LOVING "MOTHER"

(***This course is designed to help you learn to heal your inner child AND your inner parent if you experienced a complicated childhood or challenging relational wounds).

3. IDENTIFYING CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT

Guided journal to help direct healing from childhood coming soon!

xo

* Additionally, I am only able to work with California residents for weekly therapy once available. If you are interested, please also add in a few brief details in your email including your reasons for seeking treatment, current diagnoses, concerns, etc.

Thank you so very much, and I wish you love and healing on your journey.:)

[raminagoly]

As an only child of an untreated single Mom with BPD, I can confirm you are the only psychologist I have found that speaks on point. You literally describe in detail my childhood and also my adulthood. I have managed to separate completely and heal through meditation, and intense self-care, but still it is a work in progress, and listening to your explanations helps with my healing process. Thank you !

[lunaazul]

Dr. Sage, sooo focused on the info and not falling for all that cuteness in the back, lol!!!

[junemoon]

You have clearly described my mother. I am an older woman who has suffered many years of severe abuse from her. It still affects me. Your other video abo the inner child is helping me. Thank you. I watched my mother die in a hospital and was so relieved because I knew my punishment was over

[dieresis]

The unstable sense of self symptom long puzzled me, but I came to see that the primary way I experienced it was as an ongoing question, “Who is this person now?” I would feel myself pulled into relationship at various times, not for who I was, but to play a role: the child, the parent, the friend, the enemy. It felt impossible to count on the relationship itself, even unsafe to do so at times. My response was to keep to myself. I was fortunate to grow up in a multi-generational home, so there were many contrasting and nourishing healthy relationships to sustain me. Nonetheless, a part of me incorrectly learned that such odd behaviors were normal. The main effect on me is that I tend to put up with unhealthy situations far too long, but I’ve seen improvement in that issue over the years, so I see great value in taking your suggestions to heart and attempting to put them into practice each day, not being hard on ourselves if we fall short of our expectations from time to time.

[DrKimSage]

Hi all! Wanted to share how we diagnose this disorder, especially from the perspective of what it takes to meet the diagnosis of the 9 traits, and what it might look like if you weren't sure if a parent or partner may be struggling. Please never diagnose from a video or social media, but please consider using as information which may be helpful in validating your experience and/or in seeking licensed mental health treatment with a licensed clinician. Also, Coco makes a brief appearance:)

[LydiaJesus_]

I am listening but I cant take my eyes off that adorable kitten. 😊

[allwellandgood]

SO interesting, your own journey of working through childhood trauma and your career path is such a huge inspiration. BPD sounds very similar in ways to CPTSD, it has me questioning some of the assumptions I have made of my childhood experience. Watching Coco is also very theraputic, such a beautiful cat 🐾💖

[eeo]

Dr. Sage, I love your videos and please keep it coming for my healing process. I was raised by a single mother suffering from BPD. She is also a Japanese immigrant who even till this day (she moved to the US before I was born so more than 40 yrs ago), cannot speak English. Before I became 7, my grandmother has been her pray. After I became 7, both my grandmother and I became her pray. After my grandmother moved away from us when I graduated college, I became her sole pray. It was intense. I never felt like I had a mother. It felt more like I have a misbehaving hormonal teenage daughter that I never gave birth to who I had to tippy toe around, depended on me linguistically, emotionally, monetarily. Exactly like you said, the worst era of our relationship was when I graduated college and her menopause collided with my desire to become independent without a controlling mother who told me when I can hang with my friend and how to spend my money (at age 21, I was the sole breadwinner for my mother and little brother). Before my husband saved me from this mess, alcohol, suicidal thoughts and bulimia were my best friends. When she threw a full soda can at my 3 year old daughter out of anger, I told her to leave my home. Then she had the audacity to ask "Do you love your kids more than me?" I bluntly told her "of course. Why would you even ask me that?" It was just a crazy relationship with tons of gaslighting. My therapist did say she is pretty confident my mother is struggling with High-Functioning BPD with Narcissistic tendencies (my mother refuses therapy even till this day so she will never be officially diagnosed by a therapist). I did check off every characteristic you mentioned in this video for my mother and she fits perfectly. Although, my relationship with my mother was not as severe as Jennette McCurdy, I truly understand why she will be glad her mother died.

[Triciabat]

Please do a deep dive into the differences and similarities between BPD and NPD. Thank you for what you are doing here!

[carolynwright]

Dr Sage, I want to say thank you for teaching in a loving way that gives hope to the wounded child or adult that grew up with a parent that has bpd and for a person suffering from bpd as we speak. Your compassion is so refreshing ❤️

[tiablasangoriti]

Grad A for Dr Sage!

Your research over the last year has brought me so much healing and comfort. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[LO-bkbv]

Thank you Dr. Sage for another wonderful video. This is so helpful for students in the mental health field and also those who are licensed but need a refresher. I've learned more about BPD from your channel than from coursework. Thank you for all that you do!

[candysherling]

Hi Dr Kim,
I am a 50 yr old diagnosed with bpd, but I never got much treatment
As I get older alot of my symptoms have subsided. I feel more mentally healthy and I can clearly reflect on the damage I did to my daughter when she was growing up. Our relationship is much better but still at times a bit stressed.
Now my daughter is in a super abusive and narcissistic marriage...the abuse is undeniable ... And she has been there for 17 yrs, and has a 5 yr old daughter.
She is living in hell, and she is disappearing.
Please .... I have to help her but I don't trust that I won't get over bearing because I don't have proper control over my emotions.
Please help!

[silversunastrology]

I would love it if you'd do a video about the differences and similarities between narcissistic personality disorder and BPD. Especially in men.

[marydoherty]

Kim - I find your insight very helpful - it’s a tough subject fir me and can be triggering .
Your kitty, Coco is adorable and warms my heart when I see her in your videos!

[ielohim]

Really listen to what she is saying. What healthy person would choose to deal with this? Its not about them, its about YOU.

[laurenbrogan]

I have cptsd but a fear of abandonment so I am constantly self diagnosing/gaslighting myself even though multiple professionals have told me it’s ptsd. I have a hard time deciphering if my mom has BPD or narcissistic traits, and not in a sense of full blame, but in order to put back burdens I am carrying that are not mine and also to understand myself better and why I act in certain ways/behave in certain ways when I am triggered. I find this process of healing from cptsd really confusing at times. I appreciate you sharing these videos, I watch your videos often esp when I am needing a sense of reassurance or clarity 🙏🏼💜

[ambernouri]

I have always told that I am the person who has this problem and I am still not getting the right help to better myself. My life with my mom has been tough. I think she has a untreated issue but I don't know. Im going through this now. I can't live with my mom.

[kellyspencer]

Wow! I have all the above. You just described me and then go on to describe my mother and my father. I knew my father has cptsd and my mother had both bpd and cptsd so growing up with them was a nightmare.

[Lali]

Thank you Dr Sage for educating us about this topic. I'm considering your course along with therapy. Love Kitty ❤