5 Stages of Grief (it's NOT Depression)

In this video, triple board certified neuropsychologist, Dr. Judy Ho, and MedCircle host, Kyle Kittleson, discuss how to identify the fives stages of grief which is not to be misdiagnosed as Depression.

Dr. Judy break's down the Kubler-ross model of the 5 stages of grief from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross:

00:00 Intro
00:22 Grief vs bereavement
00:45 1. Denial
01:03 2. Anger
03:01 3. Bargaining (& why we do it)
06:32 4. Depression (or feeling depressed)
07:21 5. Acceptance (& how we get there)
08:23 Can someone "skip" to stage 5?
09:00 Is there a wrong way to grieve?
09:13 Delayed grief
10:02 Kyle's story of grief
11:29 Spending too much time in 1 stage
12:00 What to watch next

#MentalHealth #Depression #MedCircle #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #stagesofgrief #grief #griefjourney #grievingprocess #grieving

[pettali]

I would never have known the paralysing effect of grief. Or how dismissive people can be. Or how cruel. Or selfish. We live in a world where you’re supposed to be “over it” so quickly. Life isn’t tv. I have tried everything to get through, to keep going. Now I’m finally doing it my way.

[djnolan]

This channel is a blessing to the mental health community here on youtube.

[Anondlynn]

I really don't think anyone truly understands Grief over the Death of a loved one till they experience it for themselves. Grief over a Loved ones passing never goes away, it becomes a Part of us and stays with us always because of the finality of it....it's a part of how they live on within us.

[TheLastSecretGarden]

I lost both of my brothers almost a year ago now. I feel like "the 5 stages of grief" are just too simple for what grief really is. It would be so nice to wrap it all up in these 5 stages and try to judge your progress and process against that, but it just isn't true. Why does no one talk about:

- hallucinating your loved ones? Or seeing people on the street and thinking it's them?

- the stage where you have to tell yourself 500 times a day that "no human has ever come back to life, stop thinking that it's possible for that to happen." I've talked to several people with similar losses who have all gone through this stage.

- the stage where your brain gets so exhausted where it just goes ahead and tells you "hey, it didn't happen!!" and then 500 times a day you have to break it to yourself all over again. This happens AGAINST YOUR WILL and you have to go through this process over and over and over and over

- the impact that your grief will have on all of your relationships. How can I go from being the oldest kid of 3 to being the ONLY CHILD?! Who am I to my parents now?

- the total loss of idenity

- the total loss of meaning and the discovery of the meaningless of life. "It doesn't matter that my brothers were musicians, it doesn't matter that they loved Bob Dylan or the Trailer Park Boys. They're dead. It doesn't matter."

- The amount of people you will lose as a result of this? My mom's entire family vanished. Poof. Gone. Not one word of sympathy, no offers of help. Nothing. I didn't just lose my brothers, I lost my entire maternal family. A LOT of people cannot handle other people's grief and emotions so they just simply leave. No one ever talks about this.

- Why does no one ever talk about how you're supposed to handle dreaming about your loved ones? It is so confusing to the senses.

I wish grief were as simple as these 5 stages and the casualness you talk about it. It's not. It is a full scale psychedelic journey of the soul.

[dennissutton]

I’m 72, retired, ex-military combat in Vietnam. 100%ptsd disabled. I just turned 19 and on the way to war my Father, 46 yrs old died.
I left within the week and i believe it affected me my entire life. I never grieved properly and was in combat so my focus was for my team and myself.
This has helped enlightened me, thank you!

[bluemax]

I lost my wife over a month ago after long battle with cancer., The last 5 months of her life she was bedridden and I took care of her myself. Although I could see it coming I could not give up the hope that things would turn around. Her health took a nose dive. She died at home in her bed with me holding her hand sitting next to her. I'm devastated. She was my best friend She was my soulmate and I don't see any way of getting over it. I have good days and bad days but she was such an integral part of my life I just find this gaping hole in the center of my soul and no matter what I tell myself no matter how I distract myself the reality is always there. We were married for 30 years.

[matinajazmine]

Today at work, I went to the washroom and cried like a child . Just because someone sympathised with me

[cathywestholt]

I lost my younger sister, my one and only sibling, two years ago. We lived together all but 11 of her 63 years. She had some mental/learning disabilities and then some physical disabilities the last five years that made a skilled facility necessary. I was not only her sister, but also her legal guardian. I love Nancy so much, and miss her so much.

I am an administrative assistant at a hospice house. I am used to people dying almost every day and offering comfort to families. I had to put Nancy on hospice where she was only a week or two before she died. Everyone thought she had much longer. The rapid decline was a shock. The morning I received the call, I hurried over. My coping was to immediately go into hospice professional mode. It protected me. It mixed in with the sister part of me. I thought ok, I bet this service picks her up to transport her body, etc. I broke down and crashed after they took her and I was saying goodbye to the loving staff and her best friend.

She and I had discussed on many, many occasions doing some form of green burial. Bellefontaine Cemetery here in St. Louis offers that. One way is aquamation (a liquid, gentle alternative to standard fire cremation). All that is left are the bones and they are ground just like in regular cremation and placed in an urn. The woman there was so wonderful and comforting.

For two years I never went and selected a burial spot. I suppose it was part of a denial. I know she is gone, but I don't have to have that image of the finality of placing her remains in the ground. Finally on the second anniversary of her death I picked out the grave. They were so nice and non-judgmental about my waiting and assured me others have as well. I managed to remain calm and in control. I don't think I could have done that earlier. The date for the burial is planned. I hope I do well. I know she is in heaven and for the first time she is whole with no disabilities or limitations. My fellow hospice workers have been marvelous to help me through this.
Sorry this post is so long.

[thewhitewolves]

1. Crying ( sadness )
2. Shocked ( you’ll be asking questions of is this really happening)
3.depression
4.depression
5. Depression

[louised]

I have experienced quite a few losses of different kinds during my life, the last one being the loss of my beloved husband who went to be with Christ Jesus 4 months ago. So I'd like to mention that the experience(s) of grief in the past can help understanding the stages of grief in the present and help coping with esp. the fear of losing one's mind and the fear of never again being able to enjoy anything in the future.

[maureengilligo]

I lost my boyfriend in 2018 then my mom Christmas Eve 2022. I feel all these emotions, luckily I have my pets, special cousins and friends.

[nenblom]

My dad died last April 21. I am not sure what stage of grief I am in but I think I’m still in the state of shock. I miss him tremendously. He was not only my father but my best friend. We did everything together. I am struggling with the grief as is my mom, because that was her husband. I am seeing two therapists and psychiatrist. The funeral is on Monday. Hopefully, it will be a little bit easier after that because right now, the grief is paralyzing. Rest in peace dad. We love you so much and we miss you. ❤❤❤❤❤

I like when she said that because we are not outwardly grieving, doesn’t mean that we are not struggling a lot. I think I’m in that stage. I may not show the grief that much, but the struggle in the inside is a living hell.

My dad had severe Parkinson’s, bouts of pneumonia and a broken arm. They said that Parkinson’s doesn’t kill, but it shut your body down so the body can be affected by other diseases that do kill. My dad was struggling a lot the last few years of his life and I was absolutely terrified of the fact that I will wake up one morning and dad had died during the night. I was horrified. He died on a Sunday morning while I was in church worshipping. My dad is in a much better place now. He is with God. The day before, my dad died, I leaned over his bed here at home, and I told him that it was OK for him to let go. Hardest thing I ever had to say, but it needed to be said, and, the next day, God took him home. I could not watch when the nurse came to declare my father deceased, and when they took away his body. I went into my room and closed the door because I was in such a state of shock. I have also been dealing with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder and I was diagnosed with that many years ago.

[Armz]

I really just cannot wrap my head around people who turn their grievances into abuse. I encountered this problem a lot.

[tonettewilkes]

10:14 WOW IM SO GRATEFUL THAT KYLE SHARED HIS PERSONAL EXPERIENCE HERE.

My mom passed a week before my 16th birthday. I just turned 33 a week ago.

Thoughts of her, pictures or videos of her still affect me deeply. I do not have access to my memories of my mom apparently due to the trauma of it and my body’s attempts to protect me. I am going through therapy again now that my daughter is 5 to hopefully process this grief.

Prayers and love to all who are watching this video. Thank you all for this conversation and clarity around the stages of grief.

[heatherb.]

Anger was my heaviest and longest stage. I'm ready for acceptance and moving on.

[karenbrown]

I lost my Mama June 7th. Now that denial is over the pain is so intense. I miss her. My best friend 😢

[reneeburich]

A friend of mine died of Covid at age 55 almost a year ago, and although I would say I’m an emotional person, I have yet to have a good cry. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a nurse and that practical thinking kicked in, or, I also know that she knew she would be in Heaven, but I’ve never broken down…I knew the inevitable wound happen about 3 weeks before she passed - maybe my mind had already started grieving?

[CheebsCheeby]

A video on dealing with estrangement would be a blessing.

[nje]

Bargaining stage can also look like “if only I would have done this……” type of thoughts or statements. Figuring out how to undo or change things

[solumeasd]

Thank you so much Medcircle, just today we mark the first month since my sister passed away. This is really helpful for me.