Want to find your soul mate? Stop saying this.

/// R E S O U R C E S /// B O O K S

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/// M O R E

BUSINESS INQUIRIES:

Notes on this video go here.

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M Y /// B O O K S

[ModernHealthMonk]

Hey guys - here's my first video on relationships. As always.. it's a personal development approach. not manifesting. no magic. Self-growth. Also, I know some of you might object to the "point system" I used here. It's just an analogy. If you want a 10/10 human - look in the mirror. Are you YOUR 10/10? If not, work on becoming that.

I don't think you need to be your "10/10" to attract your dream person. We may never think we're 10/10 smart, or attractive, or funny. And I don't think most couples are on the same level, because everyone is different. On top of that, everyone is on their own journey of growth and improvement, and I would NEVER expect someone to have "it all figured out" by the time they get married. It just is not possible.

But this exercise is designed to help you think about specific traits, habits, mindsets, etc. to work on to improve. That's all.

-A

[coachbahman]

*Soulmates don't exist... You find someone who wants to build a vision and grow closer together.. *


Stop waiting on your soulmate and find someone to build with!

[AlexShailer]

This is so true. I've been on an epic personal growth journey over the years and with every stage I go through, so does the types of people who appear in my life. Quite often, we have this vision for who we want, but our own lifestyle doesn't align with who we're imagining them to be. There is a harmful myth that says "Opposites attract" and of course, you don't want your prospective partner to be your own self, you spend enough time with him/her anyway ;) But what you do want, is you and them aligned in a way, that you can full-fill some of each others desires, do things together, and have a shared, compelling vision of the future. Great vid!

[DepressionTalks]

I definitely agree with your perspective. Always continue to work on yourself, and you'll attract similar people

[staycdnb]

The timing of this is so perfect because I actually committed to staying single for the rest of this year and already the universe is testing me 😂 I needed to hear this!

[ArturoCabello]

Personally believe that there is no “the one.” There are many people in this world that have those things that you look for in a significant other. What I’m learning is that just have a positive approach towards meeting others. Life is always full of surprises!

[jojoalvarado]

This has been on my mind a lot lately! Thank you for this

[etinarcadiaego]

What if you are not looking for a 10? I just want someone who accepts me and treats me well. I have no "fitness level" I'm reaching for. I don't need a model or a media stereotype. Its not important to me she looks like a Victoria's Secret model or makes a lot of money. Maybe I'm odd that I don't have an insanely ideal I hold others to but I'm not looking for perfection. I just want a cool girl who is a bit odd and quirky like me and we can be ourselves together.

[studiowizard]

Overall, this is a pretty good video. Clearly there are no downsides to becoming the person you want to attract, and I'm all for it. However, I don't think that's the way it really works... or, at least it's not THE ONLY way it works. I think that most of the time, people are attracted to others in ways that are often times unexplainable, at least on the surface. How many times have you heard somebody say "how did that person get THAT person?" They're obviously judging that relationship by the discrepancies of their outer appearances... and maybe personality, too, if they know them personally. Many women I know are not able to clearly articulate exactly why they are attracted to their mate... they describe the attraction as a feeling they had when they met. I do think that certain traits are good to develop fully if you want those in your ideal mate. For example, if you want to be with someone who is a good communicator, it'll be very helpful if you are also a good communicator.... but not always! I know a couple who's been together for decades and one of them is very positive and happy-go-lucky and the other is basically a stick in the mud. How does that work? Yet it has worked for a long time. Keep making these videos - there's no downside to people working on making themselves better!

[shakirasunshinez]

found this youtube video at the perfect moment. this guy ghosted me a few days ago and this video made me realize i deserved it as i was acting out and theres so many issues with my personality. how can I go for this 9/10 guy when I'm like a 6/10. Been so focused on my education and fitness that I haven't realized how much work I need to do on my personality and spirituality.

[ailurophilely]

I love that one of the goals is to be less high-strung and more relaxed while doing a serious checklist :) It's funny cuz that's how I do it as well.

[timothygrealish]

Thank You -- There are too many people who do not show appreciation

[henriquedouglasjr]

Hey Alex! Love your videos and content! Keep doing it! :)

[ibarix]

wow, this was an eye opener, i need to rewatch this 10 times

[Viraliart]

You are awesome! Thanks for being there.

[PracticalInspiration]

You have to become like the person you want to be with. This is valuable, as the average person is naturally attracted to people who shares similarities to themselves.

[jordansmith]

I agree that growth and drive are important, but they can also make us obsessive and take over our lives. When is enough enough? We get stuck in this mindset that we are never enough, that there is always more to accomplish. And then we never truly feel satisfied. I think we need to strike a balance between spiritual, mental and physical growth. The closer we become to rounded individuals that happier we will theoretically be.

[earldelacruz]

But what if someone lost their trust on people?

[kirtanab]

So when do you draw the line between being “perfect” before you meet someone. Shouldn’t they accept you on your journey atleast to becoming “10/10” perhaps? Even if you haven’t quite mastered whatever trait but you’re on your path to it. Is that the same thing?

[deidreabrahams]

I hope your name Monk, doesnt mean that you remain single