Why Do Addicts and Alcoholics Hurt The Ones They Love?

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[gwillis]

The lies that an addict tells loved ones are merely an extension of the lies they are telling themselves all the time every day.

[motowngirl]

Get away from them, they will ruin your life, women think with their emotions and get sucked in by these people who don’t care

[Janice]

I'm 14. My dad is an alcoholic, to be more precise he's a drunk narcissist..he becomes very aggressive towards me & my mom. After drinking he abuses us a lot, throws stuff. He's been doing this since the day I was born. My mom doesn't wanna divorce him due to financial reasons. She can't afford to pay for my education. Idk how to cope with this situation. I just hate my dad. He acts as if nothing happened when he's sober. Idk if he even knows how deeply he's been hurting us.
(PS - Sry for the long story but I needed to rant out my frustration somewhere. )

[WarriorNoldor]

Word of advice don't be friends with addicts. Leave them alone they'll drain you.

[johne]

Alcoholism is absolutely heartbreaking. 😢

[Liz-inlu]

The amount of anger I feel when the alcoholic is delusional and lies to my face then says he never lied, is through the roof. You can’t talk to them like a normal person. They hear what they want to.

[kyleschmidts]

It always shocked me how deep in denial the person is .. my dad was a alcohol.. he didn’t consider himself as one because to him he could still go to work .. have conversations.. ect .. and an alcoholic to him meant he’d have to drink every day..

The fact that he’d get plastered and cause issues out of nothing, mood swings .. I remember Comming home from school and he’d be intoxicated.. asked me a question to which I didn’t understand because it made absolutely no sense.. he’d get mad and then my whole night went away from him tormenting me for god knows what reason.. going to shcool with no sleep …

Then grades went down and he’d beat me because apparently it’s my fault because he does everything he can to help .. stet when mentioned that it’s because he keeps me up I’d get punished…

Eventually as I got older I leaned to adapt and how to talk to him .. I left unexpectedly and lasted down the road asked me why I don’t want a relationship with him.. I said because of his trauma he caused on me .. and litteraly said “ you stupid and making shit up..

And it mind boggles me how he can’t understand or even admit that the childhood I had was horrible and i because the person I am in terms of my mental health because a lot of it was from the abuse ..

Just a year ago I blocked him .. and cut off all contact … that destroyed him and he’s now using other substances because of the guilt I presume??

I feel terrible but at the end of the day if he can’t admit that then I can’t accept a new beginning relationship with him….

[kathleenmorris]

My dad was an alcoholic.. I married one and now my son.. It's a generational curse that only you can stand in the gap and break... It ends with my son. No more.. I pray over him. Oil Jesus's blood over him.. I cry out to God to heal him.. I never guilt trip him.. Low self esteem is enough that they carry..
Set bounderies.. Love them.. God's mercy will heal them... He came to set the captives free..
Never give up..
God knows our tears...
He is a faithful God.
Amen🙏💞

[wmurphy]

Cruelty. Emotional cruelty. In the midst of drinking a belligerent alcoholic is excessively mentally cruel, and when sober the residual narcissism never actually takes responsibility for that. It’s hard. Please do a video on emotional cruelty.

[megsley]

when all you "care" about is feeding the addiction, there's not much room left for anything, or anyone else.

[anthonyrossmaund]

We don't know what we really have till it's gone. We think they will always be here for us. I know this because i was full of that nonsense. I agree that we think it only hurts ourselves. I know that's not true either. Thanks I have been thinking a lot about this.

[danielle]

“Most of the people we see struggling with alcoholism, they usually are kind of charismatic they’re sort of.. salesman type.” This. This. THIS. This is narcissism. I’ve felt a connection between narcissism and alcoholism, I’ve seen the connection, and yes.. the alcoholic can most certainly be and is a narcissist. The charismatic charm, the entitlement, the petulance, the shame, guilt, denial, chaos, dysfunction, emotionally dysregulated individual is the narcissist. I’m very, very thankful this subject was brought up in this video, it’s not the first time I’ve heard or read a correlation between narcissism and alcoholism/addiction, but it just further drives the nail in the coffin about these types of individuals. Thank you for the validation!!

[marthas.]

I met some alcoholics in my life ( also lived with one together for a few months) and I can tell you they will never change. They always blame somebody else for their own problems and refuse to acknowledge their own contributions to the misery they are in. My advice : avoid them like a plague otherwise they will drag you down and make you ill.

[Sashablue]

i split with my partner 2 months ago - he was full of rage and hate towards me . i’m heartbroken

[Sunny_Day]

This is wonderful! I read in a book called “games people play” that an addict will purposely hurt their loved ones and use that as ammunition to continue and-or justify their reason for being an addict. I think that falls into the “shame” category. It was very eye opening. Thank you for your talks. Your channel is amazing. Thank you!

[JMM]

My husband is an alcoholic and I don’t know how to show him love or even be nice to him. The things he does and says when he’s drunk are so terrible and infuriating that I struggle to let it go. It also doesn’t help that he NEVER apologizes and instead has the audacity to act like he’s perfect and does everything, and that I’m the bad guy with issues who needs to step it up, all the while as he does literally nothing but drink and cause chaos, while mooching off everyone around him and LYING about EVERYTHING!!! OMG I’m so mad, disgusted, and blown away at his sense of entitlement 🤬 I know I need to detach and not interact with him when he’s drunk, which is every night, but sometimes I just want to file for divorce and tell him to F off. If it weren’t for my 2 young kids, I’d be so gone. I feel like I’m the only adult in the house, responsible for everything. I know all about how the addiction works, codependency, enabling, gaslighting, etc, you name it….but Damn, this disease makes it soooo hard to love them!!! 😤😤😤.

[LilB]

I'm glad I found your channel today and looking forward to what I can learn from you ❤️. Long story short and to be honest, I'm an extremely damaged survivor of very severe spousal drug addictions to heroin and benzos. My kids and I have seen and been through more than anyone I've ever met in real life and I pray every day that somehow I'll be ok soon. She's been sober for 5 or 6 years now and I feel like I've made zero recovery myself. It's hard not to replay the worst of times over and over again in my mind, it's like a never ending trap. I stood by her with the children and did the best I knew how to do as the sole provide for my wife and our 3 children. Thanks to God, our youngest is 19 now and all 3 of our boys grew into fine young men considering the absolute hell they've had to experience at their most vulnerable times of their innocent lives. It's heart breaking to think about what they had to ensure as children, I wish I could've shielded them better but it wasn't possible at the time. The experiences are plenty and the stories are of truly horrifying and traumatizing events, but the main thing is that all 5 of us made it out alive! Thanks again for posting this content, it just may help a lot of other people in a similar situation to my own. Much love to everyone out there, stay safe!

[rupertperiwinkle]

I have Zero sympathy for abusive alcoholics. They are selfish and hurt others. No Fs given. I stay clear of them

[pureimaginationsweetscandy]

My husband is so condescending and mean when he drinks. Then when I try to tell him, he turns it around on me like I'm crazy. It's SO hurtful and confusing. IT doesn't happen often but it still happens. 🥺

[wmurphy]

You are amazing. Saying that my alcolic doesn’t love me the way I love him is not upsetting, but a huge relief. I have felt this for years. That I have confirmation takes away from my feelings of craziness. I’m not crazy. I also realize he can’t live me like he should. I don’t know what’s in our future, but at least I understand more, and know I can let go of a lot of the crazy making, I attempt to deal with what’s true in front of me instead of what I wish it was. The truth is relief for my soul. I don’t have to be shattered by anything unreal.