How to know if you’re ASEXUAL : 10 signs to know your ASEXUALITY

Hi guys! So today I wanted to sit down and talk about how to know if you're asexual. I wanted to give all of the signs that can help in discovering your sexuality and knowing if you're asexual, so maybe it can be a little bit easier for you to know!

Although I am not asexual myself. I have had many friends who identified as asexual and have enjoyed getting to understand it a little more.

I make a lot of videos on sexuality and the lgbtq+ community. So the more people I can help, the better it is!

As always I had to censor some of my video to appease the algorithm... lol but its okay!

Thank you guys for taking the time to watch my videos and get to hang out a bit. It truly means the world!

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FAQ 🌈

How old are you: 25 YEARS
Camera I used to film this video: Canon T6i
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idk what happened but you lost quite a few subscribers... oh well, their loss!

[RogersRegularShow]

Are you asexual? Let me know your story in the comments!

[squish]

As an aro/ace I just wanna say that there can be a deeper form of platonic love and relationships that can connect with things like sensual or physical attraction. This can lead to holding hands, cuddling, kissing, and even marriage and raising kids just as really good, warm, loving friends. I like to think of it as a super friend. You may be aro/ace if you're looking for a (platonic) relationship that revolves around warm hugs and cuddling on the couch under your favorite blanket while watching finding nemo on repeat and eating ice cream. This took me a long time to understand and I hope I can help at least one other person discover who they truly are. I love you all <3

[sgaray]

I’m 35 years old and just figured out I was asexual a few months ago. A lot of things from my past completely make sense now.

[gbidrugchemist]

I struggled with this for so long. It wasn’t until a few months ago that I figured out that there were different kinds of attraction. I’m 100% ace but definitely find others aesthetically attractive. And while I’m in a committed relationship, I definitely can say that I’m panromantic asexual (really aegosexual to put a micro-label on it). Thank you for making this one. It makes me so happy to see videos being made on asexually. We definitely exist!!

[thrashy]

I always thought I was straight, but then one day I've read a newspaper article, in a category where people ask sex questions. The question of a woman was if you should tell that you're asexual on the first date. And since it was an online article, there was a comment section, where many curious people asked questions about asexuality. Some aces answered those questions, and the more I've read, the more I was like "woah, that's totally me, kinda!"
Then I read more about the topic and since then I identify as asexual ^^

I was 22 already when I learned that this orientation exists. Wish I knew earlier. Would have prevented a lot of pressure I've put on myself when I was still thinking that I was heterosexual.

[mattdawg]

I wasn't born asexual. I lost sexual attraction because I was sexually assaulted. I'm 16 male and I used to love women and I was attracted to them more than anyone. I was even addicted to the sexual things lol,
I dont know why it happened to me but I'm proud to be Ace ❤🏳️‍🌈

[sugarpie]

I’ve been putting off calling myself asexual for many years because people always teased me growing up, but I can’t hide from the fact that the desire is simply not there. The worst part - I have a significant other that I love, but I’m scared of turning them away by my inability to have sex device. It’s honestly put me in such a sad state, but thank you for telling me to be proud, because I do feel a bit better knowing I shouldn’t be ashamed of the way my body reacts to situations.

[HereThereEverywhereMatt]

I came out today as asexual to my family. Went pretty well. :)

[drycjfh]

3:26 - 3:35 hearing this makes me smile, thank you !!

btw I just found out that I'm asexual last month and I felt so proud of myself !!!

[wintermute]

Just came across this video and I wanted to first off thank you for making it, your presentation was very clear and friendly. I'm 39 and I didn't realize I was asexual until my early thirties, struggled in relationships where I didn't feel any sexual attraction to my partners but they felt strongly toward me, and very often I would engage in sexual activity for the sole purpose of the emotional connection or as a sign of my devotion, but not because I felt any form of sexual arousal. I think it's important that people remember being celibate is not the same as being asexual, and there are many reasons why someone might feel confused about this and end up either letting themselves get taken advantage of or feel like they have to force themselves to be sexually active in order to feel "normal".

[nani]

Woah. You uploaded this video, like, perfectly on time. I've been really struggling with this right now. I'm not sure if I identify as bisexual or biromantic. I'm not sure if I think I'm asexual because I'm insecure about myself, or if it's just because I simply don't want to "do it" at all. Thank you. :D

[mtburton]

As a heterosexual ace my parents always asks me about having a girlfriend...

A bit of a pain in the neck having to say that I'm not really into dating girls.

I'm glad there are other asexual blokes.

[e-sew-sa]

I honestly dont know what I am. I was never uninterested in the topic of sex because I was so intrigued by it. I never understood why it was such a big deal and why it was considered taboo. So I would listen in on adult conversations and read different articles about sex, so I could fully understand what it meant. Due to this build up of knowledge and anticipation, I was excited to try sex for the first time. I wanted to fit in and I wanted to understand what all of the hype was about. It wasn’t until I got intimate with a former partner that I realized how gross I felt during the whole encounter. I hated it. Yet, I still didn’t believe myself, so I tried initiating physical intimacy with someone of a different gender and the feeling was the exact same. Except this time I wasn’t grossed out, I just felt empty and not there. This shock was devastating. I had all these ideas of what sex was supposed to be and how I should feel, but it wasn’t that at all. I still try to have sex here and there, simply thinking that maybe the circumstances were wrong or maybe since I’ve grown older then my feelings would change. But they havent. I suppose that I struggle to identify with my asexuality still because I dont always feel like I fit the bill since I still experience romantic attraction and I have had sexual encounters. Though it is comforting to know that there are others that feel like me.

[lunarskys]

I'm not sure if I'm asexual, but I had almost all of the signs according to research. The label is really scaring me however, if any asexuals have any advice for confirmation/getting over the fear of the label it'd mean the world to me. 💜

[duedate]

I'm 40 years old and just found out I'm asexual. Now it all make sense to me why I felt the way I feel.

[etainvelorum]

For a long time I thought I was broken or sick. It was difficult to really think about coitus as being enjoyable and really I found other things to be more important. Growing up I would observe people and their behaviors so I could better blend in and feel accepted, even if I didn't feel like myself. For a while it was somewhat alright, until I went into my teenager years and people were acting much different. Not having known about asexuality for a long time, I tried to copy the behaviors and pretend to like the idea of intercourse. Of course, I'm not saying it's gross as it is a beautiful union between two people who love each other in that way, but I just was uncomfortable and thought that maybe I needed to discover it further and push myself more. I guess my reasoning was that if I didn't like something on the surface, maybe I should give it a chance and push myself into that idea of loving someone like that. I would get physically ill in my late teens. Sometimes I went through periods of not eating or sleeping because I couldn't wrap my head around liking someone in a sexual way. It was a chore that I felt was of upmost importance and demanded my attention. I believe I was overthinking it at the time and even decided to seek a relationship. From the start, I told them I saw dating as more of an experiment than anything, but decided to play as if I was interested in them for about half a year. They were very sweet, charismatic, and intelligent, but I was getting frustrated because they were rather suggestive and liked the thought of us having that kind of relationship. Couldn't take it anymore and I wrote an essay about how I felt throughout the experience as an explanation after I told them I wanted to break up. If I can't get a real conversation without someone being overly sexual, I just can't go through with it. I do desire wanting to be in a romantic relationship though, and I cannot tell you how happy I was to have discovered asexuality. A few amazing friends even offered websites with thorough explanations. All this time I thought there was something seriously wrong with me because I still wanted to love someone, but it didn't seem possible from the start because of how hypersexualized our world has become. Now, I'm accepted by many of my friends and I never felt so free to be myself.

[parkr]

I've been questioning whether or not I'm asexual for a while now, and I'm still not 100% sure whether I am or not, but most of the things that you listed I do feel, and one of the main things that has been confusing me is whether or not you can be asexual and still date, because I have been with my partner for over a year now, and the idea of doing anything sexual at all, makes me feel genuinely uncomfortable, and although I'm still not quite sure whether or not I do identify as Asexual, this video has still helped me with getting closer to figuring out whether or not I am, so thank you!!

[yoursleepparalysisdemon]

Thank you so much for this video, it's really helped me understand a few things. Growing up I only ever had one crush, and I never understood why I never really wanted them in a sexual way. Porn always felt pretty unexciting, and going through puberty I only ever felt extremely mild sexual attraction, nothing I'd really miss if it never happened again. I was always confused as to why I could look at someone and think they were aesthetically attractive, but the minute things turned at all sexual, I lost all attraction and pretty much just wanted to back out. Sex just wasn't (and still isn't) a priority for me. I only recently started questioning whether I might actually be ace, but it's been pretty difficult to accept it because most of what I thought I knew about it as a child is inaccurate, and mostly based around stereotypes. I kept finding reasons why I might just be overthinking it, or maybe I'm misunderstanding how everyone else feels. Hell, I even went through a period of being convinced that I was just gaslighting myself into believing I was ace, and that I really just felt the same way everyone else did. Thankfully, I've been able to find a community of people who's experiences pretty much mirror mine, and this video has really helped me understand that I am ace, and that there's nothing wrong with me. Thank you.

[astralphoenix]

I've been working on trying to figure out my own sexuality after coming out of a hyper conservative background. I think i'm Ace but I have had occasional, rare, brief "urges" for sex but they never last and after I always feel weird and like "was that really me? It's gross that I felt that way". I want a dedicated life partnership with someone (doesn't really matter who) but I'm terrified of them wanting sex all the time (maybe occasionally to make them happy but even then it feels potentially uncomfortable and gross. though i feel like i occasionally fluctuate on how i feel about it). I've been trying out labels like greyace (to account for those random "spikes") and maybe panromantic? (feel like i fluctuate on who I'm attracted based on aesthetics and personality) Due to my sheltered and legalistic upbringing I'm still learning about all this so I'm not sure about what every label means. Can I identify as Asexual (or greyace?) with those random spikes?

[poisonivory]

That first point about aesthetic attraction made so much sense. Thank you for the vid this helped me so much.