The NT+ASD Marriage: Why Spouses Grossly Misinterpret Each Other

Downloadable programs:

Coaching services for autistic male partners:

Coaching services for neurotypical female partners:

Coaching services for the ASD + NT couple:

Individual coaching services:

Access to “Members-Only” videos:

Parenting resources:

[JaniceKonstantinidis]

Thank you Mark! What you say in this video is a literal lifesaver. I had reached the end of my tether. After hearing this, I feel my tether just got longer. .

[isabeltaylor]

What if they don’t want the nt’s help or tell you you’re the crazy one. A bottomless pit in terms of emotional/affectionate needs. What’s if there’s a child involved and he has already made up his mind about you. All I can do is move on. Usually it’s the nt’s doing the dumping from what I’ve learnt, but not in my case.

[plee]

My husband has traits of aspi but in business meetings or meetings with people he wants to impress he adapts social very well and acts like a normal person. Is this normal?

[digiscream]

While I agree with some parts of this, I - as an autistic guy who's been married for 20 years, and it's better than ever right now - disagree with the basic idea that an autistic person doesn't reciprocate emotionally. We do; it's just that we don't engage in typically-NT displays of that reciprocity. In line with the idea that relationships are about growing together (I believe that quite strongly), it's not just about the ND partner learning to engage in NT-like emotional displays; that is always going to be masking at least in part, just a facsimile of the real thing. While that has its place (making your partner more comfortable), it's also incumbent on their partner to learn what ND emotional reciprocity looks like - for example, inviting them into our special interest is a *hugely* important emotional display, because we make ourselves socially vulnerable at exactly the point where our ND-ness is most "out there" for the other to see.

There's also an emphasis on "doing" rather than "saying"; if your ND partner goes out of their way to really focus on forcing themselves to help with something around the house that's directly opposed to their executive function deficits (eg something as simple as taking the bins out without being reminded to do so), it's no small thing and will have required _massive_ amounts of mental effort.

[ariadnaladdysoprano]

Can as person's special interest be his lady friends and 'getting to know a new person with engagement'?