When the Avoidant Comes Back - You NEED to Know THIS

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In today's video, Thais Gibson explains why the avoidant (aka the dismissive avoidant attachment style) comes back after a break up. Watch now to find out the 3 main reasons why an avoidant might come back and how you can better handle the situation as Thais provides useful tips and guidance.
To learn more, explore the transformative course, "How to Repair Any Relationship", for powerful tools you can begin using immediately on your journey!

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00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:46 - Why Avoidants Come Back
00:02:17 - When The Avoidant Wants To Rebuild a Relationship With You
00:06:20 - If The Avoidant Is Only Looking For Security and Comfort
00:06:45 - If the Avoidant Doesn’t Know What They Want
00:07:57 - 7 Day Free Trial: How To Repair Any Relationship
00:08:24 - What To Do
00:10:23 - Conclusion

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Hey there! I'm Thais Gibson, and this is the channel where I teach you how to transform your life.

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[waterlilynymph]

Actually it’s best to be silent, save your energy and let the avoidant realize what they want in life. You don’t have to say anything unless you want to feel you need to. Everything meant for you will never pass you by.

[britishpatriot]

My avoidant came back after about a month, after I had given her an ultimatum, which triggered her to a month of silence. She fulfilled about half of my conditions to get back together. I have just reminded her of the ultimatum conditions, which will probably trigger her again to no contact. Which is ok because I am reaching the end of my patience with her and her behaviour is eroding the quite strong feelings that I had for her.

[matildastanford]

Nope.
He's the one who wanted distance and independance, now he has it. l'm done with the anxiety induced by attempting to love him.
Maybe he shouldve loved me back.

[SuzanneLegendre]

It’s exhausting to walk on eggshells with DAs so we don’t trigger their stonewalling/silent treatment

[Sassy]

If you want a reciprocating relationship avoid the DA totally

[asdfxcvbn]

just don't date dismissive avoidants. problem solved.

[MatthewBartolome]

To the fellow anxious.. im 8months in feeling a bit better. No contact is working to build you up to distract you from making the bond worse with your DA. Instead use the time to work on things in you and be your best self put the DA on the back burner and make yourself the priority, use the anxiety your feeling to poor love out into yourself! Its hard but keep telling yourself "if they wont love me thats okay because i'll Love me."

[polo]

What wasn't working in the relationship? I am gonna tell you what wasn't working. I was doing everything right. I gave her so much love, care, patience, time, I was helping her every time when she needed help, i never hurt her, I was not arguing about anything, I gave all myself to her and she fell in love with me. I was too good for her. And that's exactly why she discarded me like trash without any reason! They are extremely fucked up people. Stay away from them!

[CoachAJ]

Don’t bother. My DA wife is on her way out and hellbent on pulling the ejection lever. I made it clear that once this door closes there will be no coming back. Have respect for yourself!

[jashoo]

Avoid the avoidants. Avoiding relationships is their core value.

[derekderek]

It’s funny how we give an emotionally abusive immature person a name like “avoidant” to make them feel about them

[wendydaniel]

When my ex "avoidant" attempts to come back I avoid him. I am securely attached. I don't need that kind of "mind f--ckery " connection period. Life is way too short for unhealed people to sabotage my precious time. . ❤

[SK-nopp]

Conflict presents an acute risk to the safety of relationships with avoidants. Avoidants need to stay in control and, however unconsciously, giving ground for them would upset the balance of power,  which can be too torturous a position. They find it very hard to think like a team as they innately view this as dangerously giving up part of themselves. While they may believe they want relationships in theory, in practice they experience regular aversion to their partner - no stronger than when inevitably faced with issues or forced to confront emotions, which means they are much more at risk of walking away. Partners often sense this, which creates a problematic power imbalance in conflict, when both are not showing up with equal desire to move towards resolutions and to make the relationship work as a team.

[jo]

I read all the comments about DAs and felt compelled to comment. I'm happily married to a DA. He is becoming more secure and so am I. Through good communication it's possible, and it doesn't feel like work. I actually find the DA appreciates difficult conversations as long as they're calm and non blaming. I'm not saying that people should be with a DA if it's not right for them, but I've found some of the DA traits have been brilliant and given me space and helped me be more analytical and communicate more effectively. I'm a better and happier person because of my relationship with my DA.

[sonkissed]

Hadn't spoken to avoidant in close to 8 months after I found out about another woman he's dealing with..
I walked away quietly and went about my business.

Recently, He asked me to watch
his pets while he goes on a "group" trip. He tried reaching out on another occasion in the most awkward way; because he's trying feel me out.

He bought a boat and says, "You gotta come and hang out". Meanwhile, he has a picture of him and the new woman (she was never new) as his screen saver. My friend saw it while they were conversing.

I say "No thank you" to being used by someone who misses the emotional nourishment I provided, but wants to have fun and bliss with other women.

[christineshoemaker]

I swear. I've been in the cycle 3 times now. I am so exhausted.

[FrankiesFire]

My ex monkey branched and cheated on me with a guy she has now been with for 8 months, since she dumped me. I’ve lost 60 pounds, got fit, bought my first home and getting a puppy but she looks happy; She is not coming back. I wish she did so I could tell her she’s dead to me and I’ve moved on.

[johnrsherwood]

Were they ever really "there" to begin with?

[richmckeemusic]

I would love to see avoidants not avoid putting in the work

[Desertrose-gt]

You need to know that if he Comes back it’s to do repeat the same cycle! Mine came back after 1 year and played me again ! 😂 just move on or you Will regret !