10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage - with Drs. John & Julie Gottman

Drs. John and Julie Gottman, co-founders of the Gottman Institute and authors of 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage—unpack the two types of problems every couple faces: perpetual problems and solvable problems. These types of problems can create friction in a marriage, but smart couples know how to avoid a gridlock and seek to have healthy conflict conversations by approaching discussions with kindness, understanding, and compassion. Master the “soft approach” by extending kindness to your spouse. Stay as neutral as possible and do not let high emotions dictate the conversation. For military couples, avoid creating emotional distance and instead seek to share all experiences—even the terrible ones—with your spouse. Allow your spouse to enter into the pain with you; then, and only then, can your marriage be intimate and life-giving.

[lupatrick]

Emotion difference is created when one or both partners hold back their feeling. Thanks Dr. Julie Gottman for pointing out.

[salrc]

Great questions from the real world viewpoint. This method assumes all participants are thoughtful, reasonable and balanced people.

[daisyjoyce]

I think it all boils down to to your partner, try to give and take, empathise more, talk about everything, in a more light hearted way. don't constantly criticise. Don't look down on your partner's needs and opinions.

[celiashi]

Very insightful conversation. It refined how important "empathy" is in the marriage or in any kind of relationships. How do to communicate and express ourselves instead of criticizing or blaming others are essential skills. Speaking love, speaking appreciation about the other half creates a happy atmosphere in our daily life. Gottman's marriage principles will help a lot of couples who are experiencing challenges. LOVED IT. Thanks for sharing.

[aominefortune]

here's a few tips for making improvements in your marriage
Try to discuss more
Help each other out more
Try to give and take more
(I discovered these and the reasons they work on Pavs partner pundit site )

[MommyKnowsBest]

These are great tips!! Check out our video with marriage coach, Yana Gil de Montes, where she talks about the keys that helped her transform her marriage!

[marriagepartnersministry]

Why doesnt he talk about being much more physically attractive. This makes a big difference in relationships and triggers the spouses inate attraction cues which in tern causes them to "want-to" be a better spouse.