r/Bestof My 14-yo Daughter is Dating a 21-yo

0:00 Intro
0:11 Disgusting news
12:30 Superbowl

[paiget]

Props to the mom in the first story for protecting her daughter. Also get her into therapy because this will mess her up

[TawnyRoyal]

Story 1: when the ex-friend called OP to berate her for going the legal route and claiming OP ruined their lives, my brain went “I see where he gets his gaslighting tendencies from…”

[Sanodi]

OP didn't ruin her ex-friend's family and her son's life, her son did all that. That aside, good on the mother for making peace and getting closure but as for her son, the slap on the wrist might do a lot? While he didn't go to jail/prison, it's still on his record that he was after and abused someone underaged. That's going to haunt him in more ways than one.

[d.phantomfan]

Story 1: OP even though you didn't get the full wrath of the law for your daughter, this is still a good thing in the long run. Because at least now the police do have him on their radar, and believe me when I say that SOB is done in the real world, something like this is going to follow him for the rest of his life. And unfortunately people like this that get a slap on the wrist usually don't learn their lesson, I hope another little girl doesn't have to suffer for him to be thrown in prison.

As for your friend I think it's a good idea not to talk to her again. And not just because her son (although it's not like you need anything else), but because her reaction wasn't denial, she was upset with you for not letting her covering up for her son in instead of getting the cops involved.

[MissBarker]

The mom in that first story is the GOAT.

[ajjamsen]

I was in an emotional abusive relationship for about a decade and my dad moved my family from Virginia to Alabama and begged me to move with them so he couldn't keep doing what he did best, absolutely destroying me. OP is such a phenomenal parent, I wish all parents were like that

[FreedomHero]

If I were the father, I’d only send one message:

“Come anywhere near my daughter again, and you won’t be the one going to jail, I will”

[silverflight]

Story 2: Oof, a whole relationship wrecked over some free tickets. The ex can go get her own tickets, OP and OP's brother deserved them

[DarcOne]

One attempted grooming victim to another: it doesn't matter who it is; you have to tell someone. If they don't believe you, tell someone else. I tanked my mental health in high school trying to keep it secret that my stepdad was grooming me and just avoiding him. I wish my mom had seen the signs like this mom, but they are divorced now. He's far out of my life.

[madambutterfly]

Why would you kiss her on the lips if you only see her as a sister? This isn’t anime or game of thrones FFS

[MrsShocoTaco]

Story2 That isn't a good girlfriend. She never should have even mentioned wanting to go. The tickets had nothing to do with her.

[d.phantomfan]

Story 2: it sounds like she mainly just cared about winning the argument then going to the super bowl. And I know it's obvious but it is always impressive how someone really can't see the irony in their own actions sometimes.

[brittnt]

I'm glad in the first story the parents didn't blame her for her situation. My parents would have freaked out on me and called me stupid for falling for that.... she has great parents

[shelbybabcock]

End of story 1: yeah, OP can’t be friends with that lady even if she wanted to be. Having any sort of connection between the families would make it easier for that monster to get at OP’s daughter again. Like finding out their new address from his mom or something. Way too risky. OP made the right choice.

[joonebugg]

I feel so much for the girl in story 1. I'm a victim of being groomed. I was 12, they were 19 (Said they were 16 but i found out their real age on Twitter). The way he is talking to her is just like the way my groomer talked to me. I'm so glad the mom took action, and i hope op's daughter will heal from this experience, especially considering this was severe and he knew her in real life, so there wasn't a super easy way to escape

[jackwatt]

"Part of me wants to go over to my friend's house right now and scream at her son. Obviously I'm not going to do that" - what, why? Go to the friend and explain to her that her son is going to prison, and then explain in detailed what is done to child predators in prison.

[hellofanner]

I’m a victim of grooming. I was a freshman, he was a senior. I’ve never told my mom or my grandma out of fear of being yelled at or getting my phone taken. I’m glad that OP’s daughter was able to tell OP, and I hope things get better.

[MegaMyown]

The pdf file’s mom is just like him, no wonder where he gets it from.

Also, “it’s ok sweetie, don’t you worry, daddy’s gonna make sure he never shows his face to you again, I promise that. Daddy may go away for a while, but that might not be for a while.”

[icarusthefoxkidd]

Story 1:
So, fun personal fact, I watched my sisters both get pregnant far to early and have raised two girls because of that. The moment I heard 21 vs 14 my mind instantly went to sudden disappearance and the longer the story went on the more aggressive my thoughts got and now I'm thinking potato peeler, salt and fire ants.

[ShadiVox]

My younger sister was dating an 18 year old when she was 14. Her parents (my dad and her mom) were totally fine with it. The same man who once picked me up from middle school and yelled at me because my dress was "too short" and started calling my mom names. I then told him that I wore that dress because HE bought it for me and I wanted him to see it. He shut up after that.

That man is ok with his 14 year old dating an 18 year old.