Processed ham

We also sell SPAM, if you'd prefer a smaller, blasphemous, flesh cuboid

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(Thank you to @b0bs422 and @OmkarZ96, for bringing this to my attention)

Audio:
Epidemic Sound - No Time for Fear - Christian Andersen

Hi, Al. This video is a dub of a Twitter / Reddit meme about processed ham / a meat obelisk / a ham monolith / a prism of pork. Please show it to people who will like it. Thank you.

[JeaneyCollects]

We also sell SPAM, if you'd prefer a smaller, blasphemous, flesh cuboid

[Pining_for_the_fjords]

"Excuse me waiter. How do you prepare the fish?"
"Oh nothing special, we just tell them they're going to die."

[Conklin]

"Is that ham processed?"

No, I'm still thinking about it.

[YourWaywardDestiny]

"I don't want processed ham!" The customer cried.

The Deli worker nodded a single, solemn nod, face now serious. "I understand, Ma'am, we have what you're looking for. Follow me."

The Deli worker exits from behind the counter, beckoning the customer to follow. They make their way to the meat department, then through it, and out a back door. Behind the grocery store, a man sits. Upon seeing the Deli worker, he stands, knowing what must be done. Seconds later he returns with a live pig on a leash and a rifle. He ties the pig to a post and hands the rifle to the customer before taking his leave.

"Finally, " the customer whispers. "Finally, some unprocessed ham." She puts the rifle to her shoulder, aiming for the head.

The Deli worker shuts his eyes, a single tear rolling down his cheek. He knew what would come next. The customer pulls the trigger, and the Deli worker fell dead to the ground. Zero processing was a hard dietary choice to make, but one she must. This man knew too much, he heard her asking for it, he had to go. It was for the safety of his family and loved ones, they both knew it. She took the pig's lead, heading to the check-out. The pig would have to be eaten alive. No processing.

_No._

_Processing._

[gungle]

"The fact that this ham monolith exists proves that god is either impotent to alter his universe or ignorant to the horrors taking place in his kingdom"

My friends describing me

[Sammie]

"is that ham processed"
Even in its most basic state, ham is cured pork. It is inherently processed. If you were to make it from scratch at home, from a pig you raised from birth, it would be processed. Unprocessed ham is just pork.

[mikesproductionsgamedev]

Customer: "Is this hot dog natural?"
Clerk: *screams*

[camilogarciaylasaari]

The ham slowly appearing into frame like it's been summoned by this verbose deli worker

[JWhitePWC]

low sodium ham has never sounded so delectable

[MrQuantumInc]

The old woman, realizing she hadn't quite cared enough to understand what the butcher was speaking of but was confident he had never said that word "processed" while describing the ham: "Oh, good, I will take a half pound then."

[HunterTracks]

"Is that ham processed?"
No, it's still going through customs as we speak.

[SentientMeatbag]

This meaty cuboid is on the very edge of what the USDA allows to be called ham.

[knuxenglish]

I read it as "possessed ham"

[ian_b]

You'd have to sell that as "reformed ham" in the UK, implying that it has seen the error of its ways.

[desuburasuta]

"And as Milo looked at the 1000 pound calf he just lifted, his eyes watered. Not because that he had gained such strength but rather realising how brutally his friend shall be treated in the upcoming generations."

[kyleshultz]

I will not be happy until I get the opportunity to use the phrase “prism of pork” in casual conversation at some point

[Jimyrt.]

Sounds very healthy! I’ll take four for Cerberus.

[SuperDZ]

"Is that ham processed? If it's processed, I don't want it."
Ma'am, that is a slab of concrete.

[Spaghettia]

"Is that ham processed?"
"Not by our mortal minds it's not"

[g.b.]

Now every time someone serves me ham I'm gonna be like "Aww sweet! Manmade horrors beyond my comprehension!"