Psychologist's Tools For Reprogramming Your Subconscious Mind | Nicole LePera on Impact Theory

Do you feel like you have all the knowledge, yet you’re “stuck” in the same patterns?
Destructive habits like addiction, self-sabotage, low self-worth, or even “communications problems” in relationships are all tied to one thing: conditioned behavior practiced since childhood. Childhood trauma is nothing you overcome just because you grow up. But there are ways to heal what happened in the past to create an entirely different future. In this episode of Impact Theory, Tom Bilyeu is joined by Clinical Psychologist Dr. Nicole LePera. Her practical tips led to a community of 3,2 million Self-Healers on Instagram. She will equip you with the tools necessary to heal yourself, break free from trauma cycles and create who you want to become. After you watch this episode, you´ll know why you struggle to break bad habits and what is holding you back from change. You´ll discover the easiest method everyone can use everywhere to start healing from childhood trauma. How you can change your life with little promises to yourself. Why your genes and personality are not your destiny and how to create your future self and much more.


SHOW NOTES:

Why your past is influencing you way more than you think. [1:54]
Why you struggle to change bad habits, and what is holding you back from change. [2:17]
Why your brain wants you to stay the way you´re today. [4:40]
The real reason why it´s hard to break patterns. [5:29]
The most effective practice to break your bad habits. [6:11]
Why most of us are staying in the past or worrying about our future and what to do instead. [7:06]
How to practice staying in the moment. [8:17]
The two ways on how to practice being present, even if meditation overwhelms you. [9:02]
The reason why sitting in silence makes you uncomfortable. [10:00]
How meditation, when you feel unsafe, can lead to another trauma. [12:21]
How Nicole discovered the real reason why her brain felt foggy. [14:38]
The easiest method everyone can use everywhere to start to heal from childhood trauma. [17:40]
How to start learning to breathe to beat anxiety in your day-to-day life. [18:50]
How you can change your life with little promises to yourself. [20:23]
How to use feeling uncomfortable with a new habit to maintain it forever. [22:28]
The importance of reframing to change your behavior. [22:56]
Why you don´t have to give up your anger and how to make space for new feelings. [25:10]
How to decide if a feeling or habit is valuable. [26:24]
How to get radically honest with yourself. [27:50]
The makers Nicole watches out for in her nervous system to know if she´s safe or not. [31:29]
How you repeat your childhood patterns in your current relationships. [33:06]
Why your genes and personality are not your destiny and how to create your future self. [35:40]
How to use “future self journaling” to counter your subconscious autopilot and create change. [37:30]
Why you can use “future self journaling” for changing every aspect of your life. [40:57]
The fundamental reason why most people can´t access creativity, joy, or love. [42:39]
Why, without sleep, diet, and exercise, mental strategies only go so far. [45:00]
How to deal with your shortcomings and when life is unfair. [49:25]
How repetition shaped your limiting beliefs and how to create new empowering beliefs. [52:17]
How to rebuild your self-worth when you didn´t keep your promises in the past. [55:30]
How to use your “re-parenting” to heal your inner child. [58:00]
Nicole shares how to connect with her. [1:01:33]


QUOTES:


“Feelings that you feel become easier to feel.” [4:56]

“The way out first and foremost: We want to become conscious. We want to see those patterns.” [6:11]

“Thoughts thought long enough lead to a feeling.” [10:13]

“What I learned is each time I do one of those things: Either breathe very shallowly, or I am holding my breath, I am contributing to my anxiety, keeping my nervous system locked in that fight or flight mode. So I had to find a new way to breathe.” [18:12]

“I urge everyone out there to create change for themselves and you do it, by practicing a new thought, by overtime allowing in a little more confirming evidence of that new thought, and before you know it you do start to see more and more evidence and now you lived the experience of changing a belief.” [55:12]



FOLLOW DR. LEPERA:

[TomBilyeu]

Topics we discuss in this video:

Why your past is influencing you way more than you think. [1:54​]
Why you struggle to change bad habits, and what is holding you back from change. [2:17​]
Why your brain wants you to stay the way you´re today. [4:40​]
The real reason why it´s hard to break patterns. [5:29​]
The most effective practice to break your bad habits. [6:11​]
Why most of us are staying in the past or worrying about our future and what to do instead. [7:06​]
How to practice staying in the moment. [8:17​]
The two ways on how to practice being present, even if meditation overwhelms you. [9:02​]
The reason why sitting in silence makes you uncomfortable. [10:00​]
How meditation, when you feel unsafe, can lead to another trauma. [12:21​]
How Nicole discovered the real reason why her brain felt foggy. [14:38​]
The easiest method everyone can use everywhere to start to heal from childhood trauma. [17:40​]
How to start learning to breathe to beat anxiety in your day-to-day life. [18:50​]
How you can change your life with little promises to yourself. [20:23​]
How to use feeling uncomfortable with a new habit to maintain it forever. [22:28​]
The importance of reframing to change your behavior. [22:56​]
Why you don´t have to give up your anger and how to make space for new feelings. [25:10​]
How to decide if a feeling or habit is valuable. [26:24​]
How to get radically honest with yourself. [27:50​]
The makers Nicole watches out for in her nervous system to know if she´s safe or not. [31:29​]
How you repeat your childhood patterns in your current relationships. [33:06​]
Why your genes and personality are not your destiny and how to create your future self. [35:40​]
How to use “future self journaling” to counter your subconscious autopilot and create change. [37:30​]
Why you can use “future self journaling” for changing every aspect of your life. [40:57​]
The fundamental reason why most people can´t access creativity, joy, or love. [42:39​]
Why, without sleep, diet, and exercise, mental strategies only go so far. [45:00​]
How to deal with your shortcomings and when life is unfair. [49:25​]
How repetition shaped your limiting beliefs and how to create new empowering beliefs. [52:17​]
How to rebuild your self-worth when you didn´t keep your promises in the past. [55:30​]
How to use your “re-parenting” to heal your inner child. [58:00​]
Nicole shares how to connect with her. [1:01:33​]


QUOTES:


“Feelings that you feel become easier to feel.” [4:56​]

“The way out first and foremost: We want to become conscious. We want to see those patterns.” [6:11​]

“Thoughts thought long enough lead to a feeling.” [10:13​]

“What I learned is each time I do one of those things: Either breathe very shallowly, or I am holding my breath, I am contributing to my anxiety, keeping my nervous system locked in that fight or flight mode. So I had to find a new way to breathe.” [18:12​]

“I urge everyone out there to create change for themselves and you do it, by practicing a new thought, by overtime allowing in a little more confirming evidence of that new thought, and before you know it you do start to see more and more evidence and now you lived the experience of changing a belief.” [55:12​]

[fitlife]

5 weeks ago i started a 5 am morning routine that has improved my life dramatically.
1. Meditation
2. Mindfulness
3. Breathing exercises
4. Workout
5. Check work emails
6. Work on building a fitness business
By 7:30 my day has been completed so bring on the non sense because my mind is ready for it.
I take control of my day before it takes control of me👍👍

[GeorgeFarmerStudios]

If anyone reading this has experienced trauma in their life then Dr Nicola’s book, “How to do the work” is truly transformational. Painful too, but worth every tear. Thank you, Tom for always showing up.

[AbhishekSingh-btmi]

Dude we can't tell how much we are learning by your podcast I respect from the core and bottom of my heart please keep the good work ahead

[marielilith]

I love the way she says « a lot of us » when describing a behaviour instead of « a lot of people ». We can definitely tell that she is a compassionate person.

[beaconoflightnewyork]

I agree and teach others that 95% of our day we are operating from our subconscious, habitual mind. Once we understand our past conditioning, and that our emotions are always guiding us; we can begin to incorporate more self love into our lives, and this can be heaven on earth. Our past does not define us, but we can embrace it, and focus upon the desires created as a result of any contrast we experienced.

[davida]

Nicole is a precise match to everything I went through, except it took me decades of ignorance, clawing my way out, of trying and trying to figure myself out. I got deep into the what is what and at one point I almost gave up thinking this is the way it ends for me, but I didn't give up. I understand everything she's talking about, except, I only have a high school education. Not only was I suffering from depression, ADHD and anxiety, and low self esteen all at once, I also lacked in education because of those conditions. I learned these ideas in darkness and suffering of being me, crawling a few inches every other 3 days and finally after more than 25 years of slow progress I eventually gained momentum. Nicole is the first person to clearly explain everything that I have concluded about being present and the power of self-awareness. I've developed an actual reality model that I prescribed for myself in order to remain oriented. I have a rule about thinking or deep thinking to remain in flow in the moment, don't go too far in and don't go too far out of both your inner and outer realities. There's so much more I discovered about consciousness and I would have never figured it out without John Huberman's work and his generosity sharing his depth of understanding of our nervous systems.

[BrightestLight]

”Boundaries are a form of self-empowerment.” That’s huge! Thank you!!! 🙏🏾💗🌸

[TinaSotis]

The issues she speaks about - the forgetting, the brain fog, etc., sound an awful lot like my own experience. I came from a violent, abusive background as well. My response was to check out - leave my body. That's why I don't have very many childhood memories - I disassociated instead of dealing with overwhelming pain.

She also talks about how some of us can retraumatize ourselves by Rambo-diving into conscious awareness practice too quickly, driving us into overwhelm. This serves to reinforce our existing shame and self-loathing.

I really love what this woman is saying. To those here who compare her with this doctor or that philosopher, or say that she's just parroting someone else's work: I would ask that you give those opinions more thought. We need more voices like her. She is espousing information that we all need to hear. She's using her voice, her words, and her background to communicate this information. In this way she is unique, and it's unfair to take that away from her. There are many who may not have heard of these other doctors, or relate to the way these other people present these ideas. Let her be. She's doing wonderful and badly needed work, and I applaud her.

for those looking for more information about this, another astounding mind in this field is Gabor Mate. He's put out many videos on the impact of childhood trauma, and how important it is to process that trauma in order to heal.

[passportsandpostcards]

Absolutely THRILLED to see this powerhouse of a woman on more platforms!!! Dr. Nicole’s work is life-changing - she is truly a pioneer in the field of re-parenting and trauma. This is pre-watching the segment too, can’t wait to see it now. Thank you for helping spread such immensely important information about mental health.

[TheBigdan]

A key way of altering the subconscious is through strong emotions. Every morning I get up and listen to a song that brings tears to my eyes. I jump, pump, and engage my tears asking and feeling as if my requests are already here. I’ve been witnessing how my specific requests are coming to fruition. The other way is forced repetition. Asking myself great questions and thinking hard, imagining, dreaming had helped me as well.

[mustafabaris]

I am not where I want to be, but I am proud I am not where I used to be ..

[feliciaregina]

Nicole LePera teaches from a place of authenticity, as she lives what she teaches. Her awareness and inclusion of the whole person, mind, body and the deep self, practical, logical and spiritual, and so much more.

[PackClickSite]

"It begins in small daily things. Many of us are confirming a narrative of unworthiness because we're not showing up for ourselves in the smallest of ways". - Dr. Nicole LePera

So powerful and true.

[StevenZee]

I used to think of my dad passing from alcoholism as a negative. Took 20 years to reframe it and see it as a positive. My dad passing from alcohol abuse was a gift because it made me aware of my own problems with alcohol. Will be 2 years sober in March!

[rebeccahale]

This is awesome. She speaks my language. It took me a lifetime of healing to discover so many of these things and now I teach it to kids. I am getting her book today. I wish I had a therapist like her 20 years ago. ❤️🙏

[andreasrydell]

Your emotions send the signals to the brain that programs the body and fuels the chemical mix that creates the state of being you are operating from. That state of being is your personality or in other words: your unconscious reactions, attitudes, actions, behaviour which represents 95% of who you are. Emotions are a result of past events and feelings that arouse in those events. Do a meditation, lower your brainwaves and you gain access to the subconscious programming or these past events that might be holding you back. Now you can resolve them and change the emotion that is fueling your behaviour and actions. For example if you have an addiction to an external substance such as alcohol, (could be anything, food, tv, etc) Solving the internal emotion that is fueling that behaviour could lead you to completely stop drinking alcohol instead of constantly self sabotaging your attempts because you think alcohol is the problem when in reality, it's jsut a reflection of your inner world. Ok this is getting long, hope it helps!

[richardw]

Life is a practice. We become what we consistently do. Journaling, talking things out with others, asking self good questions can help get to the underlying issues under the surface thoughts. Insightful talk, she is aware and wise.

[GosiaCanoFitness]

This is so spot on: become your own healer. Thank you for this interview Tom and Nicole!

[maldives-joshuajoseph]

Love the way Nicole speaks. So clear. Every word is uttered so clearly. Great !