When narcissists call your health issues 'inconvenient'

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[rcolonn]

And they gaslight you and say that it's all in your head!

[HauntedTube]

Love is someone there by your side at your darkest moments and willing to help you.

[naomimueller]

Little do they realize that the trauma from being around them aided in the illness or physical pain.

[BeachyD]

my ex- narc was a chronic pain patient. I was always patient with him and took care of him when he had bad days. Then, two different things happened. First, I was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disease and fell very ill, like, almost died kind of ill. He complained to me about not getting enough sex. Second, I fell into a very deep depression and had to go on medical leave because it was so bad. Of course, I cried a lot during that time. He complained to me that I cried too much, When I told him that yes, I cry a lot when I'm depressed he said, "Well, it's getting kind of old."

I'm so glad I left.

[PL-tjsd]

They can even cause your illness, and then what they have caused is an inconvenience for them!

[bubbyssourdough]

Had cancer 4 years ago had many issues with it and so true he said “ your health issues is just too much “ or “ everyday something else is going on with you, it’s just too much “ it was so painful

[mariahsmom]

Yes. And they blame you for causing your own injury or illness. Zero contact, friends. Only way to go.

[rjlacroix]

Recently diagnosed with malignant cancer .My narcissist wife said " Stop playing the victim, other people have cancer, deal with it . " Then she left the house to go drink and sing karaoke with her bar pals she is 54 .Thank you Dr. Ramani .Wake up call is an understatement .I've gone grey rock and as much as possible no contact .I'm filing for divorce in 2 weeks . Never again.

[lydiaanderson]

Chronic back pain, undiagnosed celiac disease and Hashimotos disease, breast cancer, etc. were all minimized. Somehow he was the one who was so affected by it and my pain and discomfort were minimized continually. I remember a poignant visit with my naturopathic doctor who had just received the results of extensive testing to discover why I could barely function. The doc had tears in his eyes while saying that I was a hero to do all that I was doing with such severe disabilities. My response was to say that I wished my husband would see me in this way. Ironically, as I look back on all of these illnesses and conditions, after leaving and going no contact 6 years ago, I realize that most of them are a response to the intense and ongoing verbal and mental abuse. I still struggle with chronic back pain and a few other conditions, a daily reminder of how I was treated with such disregard and disdain day in and day out. As I slowly heal I am grateful for the peace of my life and the few people around me who really get what I somehow managed to live through. Not yet thriving but I am on my way every day.

[cathyk]

We are "inconvenienced" by their existence in our lives

[aynilaa]

Even as a child, my narc family didn’t believe me when I said I felt unwell (mostly anxious) on vacation. “You just want to ruin our trip.” is what I’ve heard many times.

[realhealing]

My mother was always inconvenienced when I was sick. I really felt like I was alone and no one cared. She just went about her life like nothing else was happening but if she was sick, the world had to stop for her.

[oletabostic]

This is why I'm divorced. I was the best wife ever, until I lost my son and was diagnosed with MS and Lupus. Then I became a burden. I was accused of faking my illness just so I could smoke pot (legal here). I got left behind because accommodation was just too much to ask for. I moved out last year and had a heart attack. It was due to mineral loss from food poisoning. It was a 'silent' attack, no pain, but I knew it was bad. I looked up at my husband. He was standing in the corner feeling sorry for himself. I had to ask him to come hold my hand, I was scared. That's the memory that keeps me strong enough to stay away. Thank you for these videos. I am beginning to heal.

[christinefrench]

Yes, my foot surgery didn't go well. Recovery was double- it was very "inconvenient" to have to help me. I just cried.

[MCBee-jwje]

I had a torn retina and had to have an emergency procedure. Totally inconvenienced my husband and he let me know it. I’m so glad I’m out of that situation.

[HellaJ]

This rings uncomfortably true. I have terminal cancer and kidney failure and I am on dialysis. I feel like I comment that’s a lot but it is so very true; the more I asked for help or understanding of my limitations the more the two narcissist in my life roll their eyes, sigh in exasperation or tell me I’m not doing enough to be part of their life. The heartbreak and pain of that alone has crushed my spirit. I’m trying not to cry as I type this… I never thought being sick would cause such loneliness even though I am surrounded by people.

[michaelseigler]

This was a hard video for me to watch... you really hit the nail on the head and described what happened to me for years. I was hurt at work (fell down a fight of concrete steps) and suffered for years with pain down both legs, back, and neck... my mobility was very compromised. I walked with a cane for a very, very long time. I needed help and was viewed as a HUGE inconvenience by my narcissist partner. He would drop me off at the hospital and tell me to call him when I was done... sometimes this was at the Emergency Room when I had serious health situations going on. He just didn't care what my situation was or how bad my health got, he just viewed me as in his way and a problem.... and he told me that MANY times. He literally did not care what my health status was... that was "my issue and my problem." I felt horribly alone... and I did feel as if I was a problem, which was not at all true. After I left for good, that part of my health improved and I was eventually able to walk unaided again... unfortunately, I have ongoing heart issues and have had open heart surgery. I could not imagine what I would have done if I had still been in that situation... because after the surgery, I was literally HELPLESS and needed constant aid to do most all things. The doctor has told me that all the stress I went through while in that 23 year relationship (along with some bad family genetics ) directly caused the issues I am currently having with my heart. I went through some MAJOR emotional abuse and was barely a person when I finally left. Sometimes I truly believe that I am just too damaged to heal fully, but I remain hopeful. Thank you Dcotor Ramani for another wonderful video!

[loretheinexplicable]

I really needed to hear that. So validating to actually hear that I deserve better after years of neglect. I am no longer with the person in question, but the sheer callousness of the situation has been haunting me.

Thank you so much for your channel and everything you do! You are a beacon of light for those who are trapped in the darkness of narcissistic abuse!

[firegirljen]

If you want a narc to leave you alone, just tell them you’re sick. Works every time.

[bgwspectator]

Thank you for addressing this. Could you do a video about how the narcissist responds to depression in their partners? Especially when that depression is caused or worsened by the narcissist?