How to comfort someone with dementia

Welcome to the place where I share dementia tips, strategies, and information for family members caring for a loved one with any type of dementia (such as Alzheimer's disease, Lewy Body dementia, vascular dementia, frontotemporal dementia, etc.)

In today’s video, I’m talking about what to do if your love done with dementia knows they have problems with their brain and they become upset, frustrated, or sad by their problems. I’ll share how you can respond in those situations and what you can do to prevent those situations from happening in the first place. I hope you find it helpful.

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Find out: "why you should lie to your loved one with dementia"
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In case you haven’t met me, my name is Natali Edmonds and I am a board certified geropsychologist. That means that I am a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with older adults. One day, while hiking a trail, I came up with the idea for Careblazers and I decided to see if posting videos online could provide help to the many other Careblazers in the world who don’t get to have help come directly to them in their homes. I hope that this work helps you in some way on your caregiving journey.
#careblazer #dementia #dementiacare

[doriswinskie]

I am glad to see I am doing pretty well as caregiver to my husband of 71 years. He is happy to have me help him with dressing and checking on him if he is slow to return from the bathroom. I am at the point of bathing him and changing his diapers. I explained to him I have always been his partner and helpmate and I am here for him whenever he needs me. I am also aware I am slipping mentally and while it concerns me, I am so fortunate that our daughter who was recently widowed has taken us in to live with her and drives us to doctors and stores etc. and she is happy to have us with her. Of course we have periods when things get frustrating but so far we are able to cope.

[stevosd]

Excellent advice on how to help and not be accused of taking over, which has been a real snag in our relationship over several years as it's been revealed that my wife has slowly been slipping into dementia of some sort.
Problem now has been she refuses to have a head scan.... These videos help me to progress without a scan 👍

[shipcritic]

My psychiatrist of 25 years had to tell me he was diagnosed with alzheimers and would be closing his practice in six months. We both burst into tears and cried together. Over the remaining sessions I saw periods of frustration I'd never witnessed before. It was heartbreaking, neither of us could pretend everything was going to be ok.

[sheilahmercer]

Your advice has been useful in only 24 hours! I’m lucky that my 90 year old father in a nursing home thinks he’s stuck at an airport and his flight is delayed. He just called me and I assured him that everything is paid for and to just try and relax till the flights resume. I used to make the mistake of trying to correct him and since I watched your videos, I know better what to do. ❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️

[painetdldy]

Your videos are a blessing. Caregiving is one long grieving process. The person you knew is slipping away and there's nothing you can do about it. Your videos make it a little easier to help them and yourself. ♥

[kathydebnar]

Dad is mentioning that he should remember something, but he just can't, so he knows that his brain is not working properly. So this video was perfect! I have been reassuring him that it is ok, that he is not alone, and that we are there for him. He has been diagnosed with vascular dementia. I have been watching your videos for some time now, and each time I find them to be helpful, as well as, soothing for me. I am so very grateful. It is a lonely journey, for everyone.

[devonmorrison]

My friend is in late stage dementia. I sing to her that calms her down and she even remembers a word here or there.

[yuribezmenov]

Thank you, I don't know what I would do without YouTube and people like you right now

[jackdavis]

As a rookie "Loved One" I just want to thank you for your wonderful efforts....they help people on both sides of this problem more than you know.

[jojoa]

Your videos have guided and walked me through the last 3 years. We are sadly coming to the end now, but I couldn’t have done it without you. My loved one is in a decline, it’s very clear. It’s been a battle from day 1 but I’m just so incredibly grateful to you. I remember when I felt so bad for wishing she would die, not for my own benifit, but for her own benifit, and I felt so bad. And I realised that feeling that way was just a way of me showing love and care. You have been my lifeline as a fellow careblazer xx

[greenspiritarts]

When I see my 90 year old mother struggling slightly with some thing I've learned to ask her; hey mom, do you need more time or do you need help? This lets her know that I'm here if she needs me but I'm also supporting her choice to be independent if that's what she wants. This works really well in a lot of situations for us. If she's verging on frustration then she usually turns the task over for me to do. But if she's just hit a snag and is working it out for herself she'll say she just needs more time. We use this strategy for a lot of things and she seems to like it. It may mean that things will take more time for us to accomplish the task but she retains her sense of independence as much as she is able to manage which seems to help her self-esteem greatly.

[kayokolindenberger]

My mom is at this phase of her vascular dementia, and gets very sad when she is lucid. She often says that her head feels "strange" but is not able to explain. But I am glad to hear that some of the things I say/do are the suggestions given in the video! Thank you.

[JW-eubr]

Dr.Natali, this was the first time I saw this video - it was right on point with my situation with my wife! It's been about four months since I first noticed these things and you have highlighted them perfectly. I have watched many of your videos but there is so much information in them that I am struggling to take in all the data, however it is all relevant and I am working through them as I can.
Thank you for being there, it is a comfort to me and hopefully my wife is finding a bit more understanding from me of her situation.

[CraftyCapersWithDawn]

What I do when my husband is having difficulty opening a jar, I distract him for a moment, loosen her lid for him and then say try again. It makes him happy that he’s done it and reduces his frustration. I hope that helps others too. - Dawn 🌅🧡🧡

[bendelosangeles]

Thank You so much! I'll be watching and rewatching all of your videos. Today I have a different 94 year old Dad than I had yesterday. He has been gradually losing his memory for a few years now but today was a new side of him that I have never seen. He's been asking where my mother is (she passed in 1985) and not knowing the city or country we live in. I see the frustration and confusion in his eyes. My heart is breaking. I live with him and my step mother. I'm sure with all of the support out there we can do our best for him.

[StefanieSaul]

So grateful to have discovered your channel, fellow "Care Blazer" !!! That is such a cool title to have! Your work is truly invaluable, and I can't thank you enough for sharing these incredibly useful tips so that we can learn how to navigate the world through the minds of our aging, or ailing loved ones with dementia, or dementia-like symptoms. You have truly helped me understand a lot more, and I believe that implementing these strategies in our own relationships with said loved ones will certainly increase their levels of self worth feel the dignity and respect they truly deserve! I hope I didn't TL;DR you here, but I felt moved to share! I'm liking this video, and more... And I'll be sharing with my family members that I know will feel the same! May God bless you and thank you!

[Tina-bpwt]

Thank you. You are a very kind and thoughtful Lady. Your video's will be of great help for people to understand what it's like 💜

[thelmadennis]

Usable, & practical interventions. As always, your capability to teach and present a difficult subject in layman's terminology is deeply appreciated. Best regards

[lindagraham]

Needed this video today. Had one of those days that was mentioned in your video. You give me courage to say Linda go back and try to work this out. Thanks.

[jfaulkner]

Dr. Natalie, this is great advice! Thank you for all of your help! :-)