How Shame Rewires Your ADHD Brain & Keeps You Stuck

Do you ever feel like you’re always falling behind no matter how hard you try?

You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You might be stuck in the cycle of ADHD shame — and it’s sabotaging your focus, motivation, and emotional regulation.

In this video, we’ll explore:
🧠 How shame rewires the ADHD brain and worsens executive dysfunction
🔥 The hidden link between ADHD and emotional dysregulation
💔 Why so many of us with ADHD struggle with perfectionism, people-pleasing, and low self-worth
🛑 How masking and performance mode lead to burnout and disconnection
…and how to begin breaking the cycle.

If you’ve dealt with:

ADHD procrastination

ADHD paralysis

ADHD and self-esteem issues

ADHD rejection sensitivity

Constant burnout from trying to "keep up"...
This video will help you understand what’s really going on beneath the surface.

🧾 Studies & References Cited:
Brown, T. E. (2009). A New Understanding of ADHD in Children and Adults: Executive Function Impairments. Routledge.
→ Describes how shame and emotional dysregulation are linked to executive function impairments in ADHD brains.

Siegel, D. J. (2012). The Developing Mind. Guilford Press.
→ Introduces the concept of the “window of tolerance” in nervous system regulation.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. Norton.
→ Explains how trauma and shame affect the nervous system’s ability to self-regulate.

Brené Brown (2012). Daring Greatly.
→ Explores shame resilience, vulnerability, and perfectionism as emotional survival strategies.

Tangney, J. P., & Dearing, R. L. (2002). Shame and Guilt. Guilford Press.
→ Research connecting chronic shame to depression, addiction, aggression, eating disorders, and low motivation.

Duncan, A. E., et al. (2007). "The Influence of Shame on Substance Use and Addiction." Journal of Addictive Diseases.
→ Links chronic shame with increased risk of addictive behaviors.

Barkley, R. A. (2011). Executive Functions: What They Are, How They Work, and Why They Evolved.
→ Details how ADHD affects planning, emotional control, and self-monitoring.

Have a question about adhd or this video? Drop it in the comments!!

⏰Timecodes⏰
0:00 - 2:28: Understanding WHY
2:28 - 8:11: Step 1
8:11 - 10:14: Step 2
10:14 - 16:42: Step 3

#adhd #adhdvision

Disclaimer: All my content is based on my own experience and/or research/observations from licensed professionals. Just because you do these things, doesn’t necessarily mean you have ADHD. If you think you might have it, please look to get officially diagnosed by a professional.

[mdctexas]

I feel shame with my seemingly ongoing inability to capitalize on all of my skills/“potential”.

[iamnotagorilla]

I feel ashamed for not being able to stand up for myself and not prioritizing myself.

[topdownjumper]

I feel shame whenever my spiraling impacts the relationship with my partner, and even talking about it feels like I'm using my ADHD as an excuse

[whatsgoingon]

I feel shame about completely wasting my spring break to procrastination, and not even enjoying it since I sent the time worrying

[rashardisaac]

I feel ashamed for not being able to finish anything, for not being able to stick to and achieve the goals I set for myself

[rebeccapeterson]

I feel like I can’t take control of the thoughts - the shame is so relentless

[digiecho]

1. Cut off negative influences and weak energy
2. Built an unshakable presence without saying a word
3. Took control of my body, mind, and habits
4. Read a book called Ascendarium (it teaches how to turn discipline into dominance)
5. Mastered self-control and patience
6. Accepted pain as part of growth
7. Discipline will take me where motivation never could

[ClipheApex]

My house is full of a million unfinished jobs as a result it's a mess. I feel shame for the state it is in but overwhelmed at the prospect of where to start. I see other people blitz their house in a month and it's immaculate. Which makes me feel ashamed I can't get mine together in several years. I feel like I'm not good enough or deserving of it.

[brentruoa]

If somebody asked, how you feel, the best to describe would be: like unfulfilled potential, paired with frustration of inability to do anything about it and desperate need to do so.

[SmartLifeDating]

if I had to pinpoint my shame its unintentionally disappointing my parents because i couldn't focus in school and didn't have enough energy to even get out of bed for work so i ended up getting fired from a lot of places due to poor performance, which to this day I'm trying to reconcile with

[binderway]

I'm ashemed of not being able to care for my daily house tasks and this is making my relationhsip fall apart.

[TelimHD]

I’ve felt ashamed about not reaching the expectations that were set on me and how everyone believed in my potential to now only me believing in my potential, done a lot of mistakes in the past and it’s been difficult for me to let go.

[RevolutionAnarchy]

i feel shame for not accepting myself as it is and always demanding more and more without ever actually listen to what i need or what i want from myself
truly sad but great video

[Rozhbyrozhi]

i feel shame for wasting my talents. i feel shame for not thriving to my true potentials.

[nikohartman]

I feel shame for allowing shame to cost me my authentic life. No more!

[maybemelanie]

I wreck every relationship I am in because I don't understand why they would like me in the first place so my insecurities and constant questions push them away.

[dominicdotmurphy]

This is so accurate. After years of shame and being endlessly stuck, the last two years I’ve been working on exactly this and building a life that makes my ADHD an advantage instead of a constant fight. It’s a long hard road but progress is possible.

[JimJam-tu]

I feel shame for all the years I've wasted smoking weed all the time (just to slow my brain down) and hiding away from the world sat at my computer playing video games. I've recently had a traumatic experience and it's really helped me to see a better perspective of myself and the world around me.

[Aiden_Vision]

I feel ashamed of the things I have done or said in the past to people that probably don’t even remember me doing the things or saying it.

I feel ashamed that I can’t stick to one thing at a time, it gets so frustrating and I can’t figure out why this happens

[rmist]

i feel ashamed for not being able to go to this class and for picking the easy option of staying home over challenging myself