The Most Common Signs of a Narcissistic Family

The Most Common Signs of a Narcissistic Family
Narcissistic Family Characteristics: The Impact and Survival Guide to Narcissistic Parents

Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:

Order The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook by Dr. Fox:

For part 1 of this 2 part series, we’re going to explore what goes on in the family when a parent or caregiver has narcissistic traits or full NPD. The narcissistic family environment is often filled with challenging aspects that breed self-contempt, uncertainty, and intense fear, doubt, and insecurity. Knowledge is empowerment, so let’s empower you with knowledge.

Growing up with a narcissistic parent typically entails the following Narcissistic Family Characteristics:
Many family secrets
Abandonment anxiety
Idealized child
Fractured Trust
Emotional Compliance
Triangulation
Misdirected Communication
Indistinct Boundaries
Superficiality

Common implicit messages from narcissistic parent is “just because I’m your mother doesn’t mean I have to care about you. My feelings are more important than yours.” Or “Don’t be so selfish, think about me”.

That self-doubt, uncertainty, fear of the unexpected, and lack of trust in self and others is often what comes these environments but it doesn’t have to stay that way. You can change it with therapy and focusing on your own growth. The first step is to look at and identify your personality characteristics that grew out of the narcissistic family environment you grew up in.
In the next video we’ll breakdown the personality characteristics of adult children of narcissistic parents.

Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.

He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:

Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:

Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful and subscribe. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.

[realhealing]

I had to live a life that supported my narcissistic parents. I had to be their version of perfect. I am the scapegoat in the family. I was emotionally and physically abused. The emotional abuse was constant. I felt like a slave. Mistreated for no reason. Treated less than to make the narcissists in the family feel powerful. It's a wicked family system.

[desha]

I had a whole breakdown in therapy when I realized how abused I was … it was mind blowing how I thought not being allowed to show emotions was normal . I also didn’t realize not feeling like I could run to my own parents when I needed help wasn’t normal . People actually feel like they want their mommy in stressful situations and I couldn’t imagine 😕.

[joycehaddon]

My mum pretended that she was a Christian but in reality she was just trying to gain respect from the people that would not suspect that she was a narcissist.

[katesage]

In my mid twenties I decided to go no contact with my parents and siblings. It was the only way to protect myself and survive. Therapy also helped me see clearly through the toxicity of my family' dynamics. I still struggle with guilt issues. It took a lot of strength of character to trust my perceptions. Today, I know that cutting all ties with my family of origin was the best decision I could have made to save my life.

[desireedphelps]

I grew up often hearing “What happens in this house stays in this house.” I honestly thought the abuse was normal for all families.

[Ana-bdvp]

"I'm providing you support as log as that supports me." God! So true!

[iamgoddessoflove]

Once a narcissist can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you.
💙YouTuber That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

[kimraethridge]

"don't be so selfish! Think about me!" Oh my!

[dreamsofturtles]

I existed to serve my parents emotional needs. Both of them dumped all their troubles, gripes and adult conflicts onto me. They talked for HOURS and i felt compelled- literally frozen - and unable to move- while i listened to the litany as i was being being drained of life, joy and autonomy. . It never even occurred to me that this was not my job. It never occurred to me that they were supposed to get to know me and love me as an actual person. Now i have to learn to do that for myself.

[godzillamanstreb]

If you are the scapegoat and/or continually abused & mistreated by a narcissistic parent or other family member....I feel no contact or extremely low contact is the only Wise has amazing self-differentiation videos on becoming a separate individual from the family system (playlist)....my late husband was scapegoated for decades & tragically he had a fatal heart attack in ‘18 due to trauma his body had absorbed for so long💔....get & stay away ....it’s truly not worth it

[cindybrown]

I left the toxic family havent spoken to other in 12 yrs i highly reccomend it

[MrRicehard]

I haven't been able to resolve any of the issues with my family. Discussion is forbidden and pushing for a discussion gets you attacked and abused. I have no choice but to cut all of my family out of my life. It's hard on the easy path.

[keepitkawaii]

I was raised by a narc mom. She's a VN, with borderline traits too. But her NPD is in foreground. She's the meanest, sneakiest, most miserable and abusive person I've ever known. She makes my blood run cold. The damage she has done to our family is lifelong and she refuses to quit. What's scary is how easily NPDs can get people under their spell.

I genuinely think that narcissistic abuse prevention needs to be prioritized for new parents. There should be classes and screenings. Schools should have therapists trained to help. Because the damage that my mom did is so compelling, I want to protect other people from the same thing.

But sadly as a society and a country we haven't yet considered mental health as a genuine issue.

[ForTheRoadTravels]

Something you said that I hadn't heard in any other narcissistic video before is the complete lack of privacy in your own home. Growing up, I was NEVER allowed to have my bedroom door completely closed and my mother had free will to enter my room whenever she pleased, without so much as knocking or announcing herself 🥲🥲 As the family scapegoat, lack of privacy was the least of my concerns growing up in that household, but the fact that you mentioned makes me feel validated for feeling unease in my own home. Thank you Dr. Fox ☺🙌

[trekker]

I had neighbors who kept me grounded. I could visit anytime and they always listened and encouraged me.

[daisygirl]

My childhood life in 10 minutes...All on the button. I grew up with both parents being abusive, narcissistic alcoholics. My sister, the golden child grew up to be a narcissist as well. Such fun times.

[DTrashTMCR]

Boundaries are beyond important. My NParent would enter the bathroom regardless of what I was doing, without asking, and start doing stuff. Even when I moved away, as an adult, and verbally slammed this behavior, if NParent wanted the bathroom to brush teeth or something while I was busy, I was expected to tolerate it and go along with it. If I locked the bathroom door I got yelled at? NParent also, years later when we don't live together, will enter my room without permission when the door is CLOSED and lights are off. In case someone else needed to hear this: these are infractions on your boundaries and personal space. If you did not okay this and do not want this, it is breaking boundaries. That goes even if NParent says it's not a big deal or you're overreacting. It's not up to them.

[novelist]

I went no contact with my mom for 18 years. She was physically and mentally abusive to me while my little brother was the "Golden Child, " who could do no wrong. She never recognized anything good about me and never acknowledged my success. When I was 10, she started acting like a jealous woman as if we were in a competition. Often, she would slap me in the face and tell me that I wasn't as beautiful as she'd hoped I would be. She called me a sow and other derogatory names. Through the years, she continued to sing my brother's praises though he became a conman and sociopath. I let her back in my life when she was elderly and ill, because I felt sorry for her, but she continued to be mentally abusive and showed no interest in my kids. I was there for her every day through her illness and was there when she died two years ago, but my brother never bothered to come see her. I think, in the end, she realized that and finally told me she loved me. Even so, my childhood still haunts me.

[pabost]

Imagine spending 50 years thinking there was something wrong with you, that your terrible marriage was all you deserved because you’d been told how terrible you were as a child. Just imagine never having ONE normal, empathic, loving relationship EVER. Thank god I now know that it wasn’t me, and I can make sure my kids can get the unconditional love they deserve.

[pattyrooney]

I am the scapegoat in the family. I gave myself the best birthday present ever. I turned 71+ went No Contact. In the early 70's I moved 2, 500 miles away from them. I became financially comfortable in my 30's. Oh my, what a Greedy + Jealous family!