Best HFY Reddit Stories: Um It Was An Accident?

What happened?

An original story written, and granted permission to narrate by u/Alternative-Pumpkin9

I can be contacted on discord for business proposals, or under the reddit name u/Spartawolf

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I am the Net Narrator. I will be narrating various tales from around the internet, which may be spooky, may be creepy, may be funny, may be awesome or may be something else. Stick around and play me while bored at work and enjoy!

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#hfy #Greentext #awesome #space #spaceorcs #/tg/ #greentexts #4chan

[dadbear]

Imagine inventing teleportation and the universe just says "what the fuck man?" Audibly and directly to you

[FedralBI]

Having gotten in trouble numerous times in my military career, and ending up on a shit assignment due to said trouble, I can say that blaming aliens coming through a rift portal, and breaking something is not an excuse that your commanding officer will accept as the reason for something breaking in your duty area... trust me on this one.

[GenStallion]

When the universe is actively trying tonstop human shenanigans.

[nathanegnew]

Love how everyone just accepted they could understand each other. It's all a dream mannn

[davidvincent]

I thought that we were finally going to find out what happened to Porthos, admiral Archer's dog.

[davidpoole]

"Materializing inside out and exploding"
A man of culture

[agoddamnferret]

the fucking ending I'm nearly crying that was hilarious

[noneofyourbuisness]

When even the universe and/or God has had it up to here with humans . . .

[rwme]

Everyone has a purpose -- for some, that purpose is to serve as an example to others.

[kroberts]

...and the whole time. They forgot to say, "Hey. Watch this!"

[MizuMing]

The Marines were cheating at laser tag? For shame!

[heavenlyderpfowl]

Could they analyze the vomit to figure out where the humans are from?

[acosig]

Even better than "the dog ate my homework" as a weird excuse!

[jasonbull]

Glorious.
Proper old school sci-fi humour.
Xx

[Ral]

The universal conspiracy: either the universe conspires to stop humans from breaking it's rules, or it will be forced to ignore them when doing so!

[KaiHenningsen]

_our Origins lie in the Milky Way galaxy though we are slowly expanding Beyond it_ ... _we recently discovered faster than light travel_
So ... is this their second version of FTL, or how did they expand beyond the galaxy without one?

[lancer]

Good story!
And NO notification. YT being YT again.

[Stormblessed]

I mean he should be alright there is a puddle of human vomit that would have his dna and probably bits and pieces of what they ate last too, I doubt they have the same type of plants and animals as we do, now proving that voice might be a bit difficult

[peterwalls-qfii]

HEY! I resent that one ! It was a totally logical, totally human, reaction that led to the whole mess.
You give Humans an FTL engine, first thing they'll do is try to break it!
Can't help it, its part of their genome ! You got a problem with that, i can't help you.

I have no idea where the hell the fucks came from, how they transformed a bunch of apes into sapient servants, nor where the hell they went when they buggered of en mass!
I was a priest, a bodyguard, an insurgent later, a monster hunter, and an exile in the end.
I was taught some magic, but that was like beginner stuff. The real advance d shit was for gods only, and even then for those who pursued a technical or research post.
Earth was a mining out post, not a colony.

[nweasels]

I detect a galaxy quest reference in that.