Best HFY Reddit Stories: Claiming Humans

Careful with the wording...

An original story written, and granted permission to narrate by u/tDegan

I can be contacted on discord for business proposals, or under the reddit name u/Spartawolf

Click the bell next to Subscribe so you never miss a video!
LIKE, COMMENT and SUBSCRIBE if you are new on the channel!

I am the Net Narrator. I will be narrating various tales from around the internet, which may be spooky, may be creepy, may be funny, may be awesome or may be something else. Stick around and play me while bored at work and enjoy!

I run a Tshirt store which can be accessed here:

#hfy #Greentext #awesome #space #spaceorcs #/tg/ #greentexts #4chan

[nk_]

Xeno A: The Human Marine corps is the deadliest defensive force in the galaxy, they can fortify and hold any ground, even hyperspace.
Xeno B: That's defensive, what's their offensive arm?
Defeated Xeno chorus: Their lawyers.

[roaming_idiot]

Humans are now "space genies" now? Apparently, these xeno's never bothered to learn even the basics of humans before deciding to "conquer" us.

[williamfleming]

The authors notes at the end turned a clever story into a new favorite. "No, really, believe me."

[emeralddragon]

Empire: "Give us your territory and lives!"

Humanity: "Eh, you can keep the dirt, we'll just leave."

Federation: "Give us your life-sustaining gas balls!"

Humanity: "Sure, and here's a complimentary middle finger to go along with them!"

Slave traders: "Give us all your people so we can abuse you!"

Humanity: "Good thing I have two middle fingers."

[AustralianGrizzly]

You want our planet to take them? We have better ones
You want our stars? Take the we have better ones.
You want that people you can't have them, they're not ours to give. This is why, here are out laws, you can have them.

[biggsdarklighter]

So, we get Alien nations being beaten due to us being concentrated on the Letter of the law, not the spirit of it.

[naushadpunjani]

Malicious Compliance on Galactic level 😅

[zyanidwarfare]

I mean… humans evolved from monkeys so if you make a vague wish your gunna get the monkeys paw…

[dalemorgan]

We didn't _need_ any spy agencies to do any of that, this is just the _find out_ part of _fk around and find out._ Just remember you need to take notes for it to count as science.

[johncunningham]

Didn't go in QUITE the direction I thought, however, comes down to the same thing . " Oh ! Really ? Did anyone discus this with the Humans "

[adorablecockroach]

Humans have mastered the art of "malicious compliance" lol.

[sweptxmans]

Getting hit with malicious compliance then essentially space cia is a horrible combination

[Sora-mdye]

Good old Monkey's Paw. Screwing people over since 1902.

[comparatorclock]

Mars calling for war out of the outset LMAO

That's so Ancient Rome! 😂😂😂

[jamesha]

"Kaiser Julius The Great, first of his name" LOL

[shinraset]

We have the Kithoun empire claim friendship and equality with humanity.

[FeyTheBin]

That Indian accent caught me off guard.