What it really means if someone asks nosy questions; what to say

I'm not talking about a good friend who shows concern and compassion. I am talking about someone you don't know all that well who feigns concern...but is really looking for gossip.

Marie Dubuque continues to talk and talk about friendship, love, and tricky social situations. Don't forget to subscribe!

[AgnesM]

The worst are the ones who if they can’t find the negative information they are looking for, they start to make things up and spread it around.

[brilliantwriter]

I had a neighbor ask another neighbor about me, & he told her, *well I like to respect people’s privacy* and she was Caught off guard

[videosforfun]

Even the ones you know really well have ulterior motives when asking these questions

[Hilux]

My response " why do you ask? " This shuts it off 95% of the time

[ekkamailax]

When you’ve been bullied since childhood by your mother, siblings, uncles, aunts, grandparents, teachers, and peers, you learn very quickly that human relationships are dangerous and it’s best to stay alone and not trust anyone

[gwendolynwehage]

My gossipy brother asks personal questions without any concern for me. He loves to know stuff about me for no other reason than to be able to talk about me. I don't tell him anything, I ignore the questions!

[MsActor]

Love Marie’s classic come back(S)! “That came out of nowhere - where are you going with this?”

[mmoly-cjbd]

An old college buddy of mine has a wife who is super nosey. This couple lives in Florida and I am in Denver. He just retired as a pilot from FedEx. She is a retired hair stylist. They have been married for almost 40 years. No kids. I'm a 64 year old male nearing retirement. Never been married and have also had a pretty good life. They visit periodically to Denver to see her mom and we usually get together at her mom's home. One year the daughter told me she went with her mom to Portland and they drove by the house her mom grew up in. Her mom left that home in 1960. This daughter stopped the car, knocked on the door and asked the lady at home at the time if they could come in and walk around the entire home. The current owner let them come in and do their thing! I mentioned this because a few years ago they were visiting Denver and this daughter dragged her entire family over to my house unannounced after a family dinner. We spoke earlier a few days prior and we were planning on getting together. I was really mad. Fortunately, my home was closed up and you could not see in. I was in my back office room when she popped up on my security camera. She even tried turning the door knob! How rude can you be? To date she still has not been able to see my home and I am happy about that.

Anyway thought you might enjoy the story. Or, maybe I just needed to vent. Stumbled on to your channel and will check out some of your videos.

Mike

[engelneen]

my neighbors sit in their window and then she comes over/calls....with the questions...were you gone all day? did you have company (they know it was pizza delivery)?, where did you go?, where did he go? It is

[Finland]

Thank you Marie ❤ you are so on point. I have experienced this lately a lot and it is so offending and annoying, some people are so disrespectful, nosy and intrusive...

[rollerpuss]

Never a truer word spoken. We love this wise owl!

[AlbumLeViola]

people who gossip about u are below u 💙💙💛🖤🖤💜💙💚💞💗

[marisaful]

Some salespeople just keep asking a bunch of personal questions

[oracleofdewphi]

Thank you for this video. I had an unexpected mental health crisis a few years ago, and I’m still dealing with some of the fallout. The short version is that I had a rare bad reaction to antidepressants, and this set off a paranoid psychotic episode. I had no prior experience with these problems, and I’m thankfully better now.

One of my closest friends got a lot of questions from mutual friends, and she asked me directly what to say to them. I really appreciated that. After talking to me, she told them that I needed some space. Some of them unfortunately took that personally.

I was irritated that most of those people didn’t approach me directly, and some of them made my situation worse by involving people I hadn’t seen in a decade. One of them spread a rumor that I didn’t want to be friends with various people anymore. This wasn’t true.

I could understand involving other people if everyone was well-intentioned, respectful of my boundaries, and if they actually knew what to do to help. Most people had no clue how to help a person who was paranoid and psychotic. I’d feel much better if they had personally struggled with these problems, had a loved one who struggled, or had some professional expertise.

It was disgusting to me if people used my story as a conversation topic, while disregarding the pain I was feeling. We’re all human beings, not sources of entertainment.

[sophialoren]

Thanks! I consider you as one of my social mentors. Please don't get tired of lifting people up!

[SIERRATREES]

Really enjoy your work, which offers a helping hand in dealing with the many tricky potholes and ditches that can trip you up, when having to cross the social landscape of life.

[IAMGiftbearer]

I had one friend about 6 or 7 years ago who got worse gradually over about 20 years and one day asked me something like this but it was kind of a trick question that was really a statement masquerading as a question and I gave her that reaction and she went absolutely ape shit. She was in her car and I was in the passenger seat. She started yelling, "I just asked you a simple question and you got all bent out of shape! (when I'd answered in a calm tone of voice). She then began pounding on her steering wheel and behaving like a 2 year old having a tantrum and yelling every insult she could at me and saying she was taking me home. When we reached my house I told her not to call me or ever darken my door again. (She had developed a habit of being mean to me and then calling me about a year later) but this time she knew she had really blown my trust and there was no chance of my giving her another chance. I am about to swear off friends at this point. I'm almost 62 and my heart can't take it. Too many are dysfunctional and you think you know them even after many years and they can still flip on you. This latest one I thought was a keeper, but now she's been turning over the past year. Ones you think are good friends can feign concern too, I've discovered. It can be scary. They all act like they love you in the beginning.

[amandam]

I always ask why do you want to know? Or I say I don't know you or I've just met you or that's very personal

[angelacasein]

What about a previous female “friend” who keeps making comments on your love life or lack thereof? Isn’t it crossing a line if she keeps bringing stuff up even tho we haven’t spoken in years? Girl mind your own life

[jhoevanmallanao]

I am in serious need of help. So here is my story. I've had a close friend but now, it's almost a year before we last talked. And all I could remember from that last encounter was lots of screaming, blaming, and many hurtful words are said especially to me. We had a pretty close relationship. I considered him as my first real best friend. But he thinks that I have so many friends and he is only a filler. He had trust issues because of his former friends. I always assured him thay he was my best friend. But in the end. He decided to stay away from me. We go to the same school. And it was torture to see him everyday and ignore me like I am a stranger. Sometimes, I don't want to go to school anymore. I tried to surprise him on his bday but that didn't go well. And he has made new friends. Basically my entire year was hell. And even now, I can't stop thinking of him. I just really miss him. And I wish I could go back before all things went crap. It was fun while it lasts. We are always together, and we cry and laugh like girls even though we are dudes. We do things together. And when he left, I basically carried the pain and act like I am not bothered by it.