James May Explains What Happens If You Drive A Car In Germany Without A Licence | The Grand Tour

It is IMPOSSIBLE, to drive a car without a licence in Germany... or is it?

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#TheGrandTour #Germany #FunnyJoke #JamesMay

[Coastfog]

I believe it was Lenin who said about Germans that "They'd even get a tram ticket when they're on the way to a revolution." As a German, I find this highly offensive and accurate.

[bigfudge]

I love how most German people in the comments either completely agree with this or they don't understand why this is funny.

[marvluebke]

Germany - Where you have to ride your bicycle, because you lost your license, because you were drunk while riding your bicycle

[foolspeedahead]

One of my neighbors is from Germany. He has an older dog that is still hyper and I made the mistake of saying “hi, puppy!” His response “This is not a puppy. This is an older, fully grown dog.”

[KnoppersBomber]

THAT is literally everyone in every german car forum ever!

"How can i modify XYZ on my car?"
"That's against the law."
"I know, but how can i..."
"No, you can't do that."
"But..."
*banned*

[maggou]

Guy: On a scale from 1 to 10. How German are you?
Me: Do you have an approval to do this survey?

[generalsiranthonycecilhogm]

All the people saying we don't have a sense of humour. Of course we don't, whenever _we_ try to have some fun you come around and team up with France!

[foximacentauri]

*Karl Benz driving with the first car ever through his village*
Bystanders: "You got a license for that?"

[orionslaver]

A British couple adopt a German boy, Wolfgang, who never speaks. Everyone assumes the boy is simply a mute. The British parents raise the silent boy lovingly for years until, one night during dinner, he comments, "This strudel is a bit tepid." The parents are amazed. With joyous tears in their eyes they exclaim, "Our beloved son, you can speak! But Wolfgang, why have you chosen this moment to speak to us?" The boy replies, "Up until now everything had been satisfactory."

[frankbrambach]

Tuning is not a crime.
It's an Ordnungswidrigkeit

[tonystark]

2 Germans in a bar in London:

- 2 Martinis, please.
- Dry?
- NEIN! ZWEI!

[SirMarshalHaig]

"The Germans want to be rebellious, they just need someone to allow it."
Marc-Uwe Kling

[Mrser]

I once saw two German guys stop at traffic lights while playing GTA.

[puffin]

This is a version of the old chestnut: "In Germany, there will never be a revolution, because in Germany all revolutions are strictly forbidden."

[bertbertmann]

I‘ll have y‘all know that Germany is the cradle of all humour.
From Germany, all humour went out into the world.
And it never came back.

[celecraft]

Meanwhile, Marlene Mortler, former german Drugpolitician: "Cannabis is illegal."
"Why? Because it is forbidden!"

[conroyale]

You never know, man. One day you're driving without a license, the next you're re-militarizing the Rhineland.

[tnkychannel]

My favorite German joke (as told by a German)


"It's German humor, it's no laughing matter."

[whade]

As a Hungarian, I heard this joke about how, if you were on a sinking ship, you could convince different nationalities to get in the lifeboat.
To the American, you say:
“I know you’re a real hero who’d get in this lifeboat”
To the German you say:
“Don’t you know that getting in the lifeboat is the RULE here?”
To the Hungarian you say:
“The other Hungarian already got in the lifeboat twice”

There’s a similar joke where Satan is inspecting Hell and people of every nation are collected in a big cauldron of their own.
The American cauldron has a devil in military gear and an AK-47:
“If somebody tries to climb out, we fire a couple of bursts until they climb back in”
The German cauldron has a big sign that reads: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO LEAVE THE CAULDRON
“If somebody tries to climb out, they see the sign and climb back in”
The last cauldron has no guard and no sign.
“Oh, those are the Hungarians - if someone tries to climb out, the others pull them back in”

[cihans]

In Germany we don't say: "your car sounds nice."
We say: "Mertens mein Name, das macht 400€."
And I think that's beautiful. ♥️