My Husband and I Still Keep Our Finances Separated

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[positiveattitudemake]

One time I heard a lady say "I owe my husband $x" I almost choked on my drink, I still don't understand this concept.

[Natalia-ojmm]

I’ve always said; Dave is low key a therapist.

[ruthlessreid]

Great advice I tell youngsters don't marry people who don't share your values. It's a contract kids.

[lynnebucher]

I realized too late in my marriage that even though it was an overall smart move to keep finances separate because otherwise he would have bankrupted me as well as himself, it also meant that we were never on the same page financially and I made a very poor choice in a husband.

[dsk]

So wait, this dude only pays the minimum payments on purpose? Does he not know how to do math or does he really like making rich people more rich?

[yamamancha]

The separate accounts is one thing, the absolute polar opposite stance on debt is completely different.
Highly doubtful she will be able to withstand the pressure of being "half debt free". Eventually, they'll come to resent each other.
If he refuses to change, then she has no choice to begin the process of protecting herself. Dave is right, this type of relationship is doomed.

[mckayfam]

Sounds like he makes bad financial decisions with making minimum payments. I wouldn't want to share an account with him.

[janellemargot]

Everybody should do what THEY think is right BUT I dont think I'd ever marry someone if I didnt trust them enough to combine income/accounts. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[MMA-mhuv]

My wife and I had separate accounts and split everything 50-50. We didnt have any marital problems, but we weren't really making any financial progress either, pretty much were just treading water. We combined our accounts and have since cleared all debt except for our home and have a plan to have our home to be paid off in 9 years from now. Simplification is key. When all the money is in one spot, it's easy to see where it needs to go.

[wolfpack]

My parents were separate accounts, my inlaws are all separate and they're all divorced. When people don't want to be team players, then the team breaks. It's truly that simple

[Mexicobeanpole]

If I don’t trust somebody with my money, then I can’t trust them with anything else either. Be careful who you marry. Don’t be in a hurry. You have to see how a person handles themselves through all seasons and all reasons.
I’ve told my husband more than once both when we had nothing and now when we are financially comfortable:
I’d rather be broke with you than rich with somebody else. He’s that special., and 41 years later I’d trust him with my life.

[chakalonzote]

My wife and I both have separate and joint accounts but our goals are always the same. That does not mean we do not have our own money, we are entitled to a % of our payroll for our personal use (whatever it is). It works!

[dannygarland]

The problem she runs into is if (when) they get divorced. She spent 10, 15, 20 years living debt free while he piled up debt, bought a boat (a hole in the water you pour money into) and never denied himself one thing that he couldn't throw onto the credit card. When they walk into divorce court, 99% of the time the Judge will divide the assets in half and the debts in half. That means she ends up paying off all of the debt she had in the marriage and the next few years after the divorce paying off half of the debt that he made.

[janiceruiz]

This is one of the greatest advise for married couples! My husband and I are 27 and we were in a similar situation. We did everything separate/ 50/50 for 4 years and barely had any savings and had individual debt plus a mortgage together. The day we combine everything we were able to tackle our debt in 2 years. The only thing we own right now is our mortgage with almost 10k in savings. (We pay more than the minimum payment on the mortgage)

[timothyrosman]

My wife and I each start with 20% of our income saved into personal retirement off the top. The remaining money is split 65% towards a joint account where we pay bills, save for common wants/needs, and take trips together or buy gifts for mutual friends/family. The other 35% is personal, which we can use for solo travel, giving to our own causes, personal wants and clothes/toys etc. It works well, we dont fight about money, nobody has any grounds to question anyone elses expenses so long as our personal savings and common savings are paid first.

[Elizabeth-mtbb]

Been married 11 years and I have worked on and off. My husband has been with the same employer and I currently stay at home with our kids. From the start we have had combined bank accounts! When we married I had$7k saved he had zero with a car loan. Now are only debt is our house but we are worth a good bit. I control the money and pay the bills.

[jhb]

My wife and I did the same thing: lived together, got married, and have always had our own accounts. We've been married for 11 years and have been together 15 years. I grew up with my parents having a joint account and they ALWAYS argued over money. If it works for you you don't need stats cause you ARE the stat!

[NoKreativeUsername]

My wife and I have separate bank accounts. I pay everything and she saves for us and pays groceries and gas. Been married for 21 years and money arguments are nonexistent.
It works

[prbymsdeb]

My husband and I have always had a joint account. We both get an agreed upon set amount of money monthly that we can spend however we like. We take this out of the bank every month in cash. So when it’s gone it’s gone. Anything else one of us wants to buy (that was not budgeted for) and exceeds the cash, we discuss it with each other to see if it is something we should purchase or if it will affect our financial goals negatively. Discussing every purchase like this keeps the lines of communication open as well as our future dreams alive. It keeps us on track. And when one of us is weak and wants to splurge we have the courage to say to each other that this is going to hurt us financially and slow down our dream. Are we willing to spend money on this and if we are then we both agree to do it. There is never any hard feelings because someone spent too much. Because both of us agreed that yes this purchase was ok before it even happened. We are married and are one. This type of behavior with money really feels like we are team. And we don’t feel like we are limited in any way. We both get to spend our cash as we wish and we still have a sense of security knowing we will achieve our financial goals.

[weirdnomad]

This is exactly the problem is modern day relationships and marriage. People see it as a glorified roommate that you sleep with. There's a reason they say 'now you are one'. You guys should be working together on a budget every month. All financial decisions should be made together.