Stupidest reasons people have called 911 / 999

Thoughts and prayers with Cheetos Kid, Xbox Boy & The Mittless Lasagna Chef.

[plasquatch]

"Police, fire or ambulance?"

"All three, I've set a burglar on fire."

[fireflystudios]

Fun fact: because of the popularity of american movies in australia, many australians have called 911 instead of 000. So they had to make 911 redirect to 000.

[hotelmario]

Woman calling 911 after having a premonition of a murder only to be dismissed out of hand is definitely part of the plot of a movie about a woman with psychic powers who has to prevent a murder from happening

[arthurmartin]

To be fair, worrying about a kid peeing in the air vents is a valid concern especially if they have done it before.

[YokiDokiPanic]

Okay, it might sound silly because the guy was dying his pubes, but an allergic reaction to the genitals actually IS an emergency.

[immortalkaos]

I got one that doubles as heart warming. I was a police dispatcher, because I live in a town so small 911 dispatch is also done by us. Every single week the same elderly woman would call with one outlandish crisis after another. Hoodlums drove a car through her house and stole her measuring spoons. Aliens broke in and took her tv guide. Things like that. She was obviously mentally unwell. But she was alone and harmless. She also made homemade chocolate cookies for the cops every time they came by. As a result there were fights every week over who got to take the call so they got cookies and then spent 40 mins just chatting with her while eating cookies and milk or coffee. It got so bad the LT had to in state a clear rotation for them so no one was fighting over who got to go next.

[Antipaxos_Nadja]

To be fair finding a dead squirrel in your bed randomly must be pretty terrifying

[ajplaysytreal]

i seen “arrested for D&D” and thought “what the hell did she do, roll a nat 1?”

[Thomas_Everman]

My sister called the cops when she was about 4 because she "Couldn't find Dad". He was on the back porch grilling hamburgers for dinner.

[ebony]

10:40 well... this has been the first time I have heard of the abbreviation "D&D" being used for a criminal charge, so... while reading ahead of Matt reading aloud I was a bit confused why the determined caller's lover was arrested for playing Dungeons and Dragons

[GeorgeMarionerd]

When I saw someone had included a link to an article, I half expected Matt to read the link instead of the actual article.

[mijigamin]

8:27 an elderly neighbor once called my mom saying “i swear im not crazy, and if i call my daughter she’ll send me to a home, but it looks like there’s a turkey on your garage.” there was a fucking turkey on our garage. turkeys didn’t even live their, i have no idea how it got there

[loyalpiper]

As someone who works as a call taker for the scottish ambulance service you'd be surprised how much people stick things up their arse and get it stuck.

[Half_Awake]

My dad used to be a police officer. One time he got a call where all the person would say was “They’re killing them!” so naturally he hurried to the beach where the person called from expecting a murder or something awful of the sorts. Instead, it was a pod of orcas eating a sea lion. Someone called the police on a pod of orcas-

[jayeh]

The mother worried her kid would get an allergic reaction to packing peanuts is really sweet. stupid, but sweet

[cloakedcarp]

0:52 I can’t believe our law enforcement doesn’t account for cold deer, quite shameful to be honest

[EldritchOwl]

My father once called 911 because his dealer upped the price...

[jeepmega]

Turn Down For What playing right after the lady said to turn down the music sounds like the funniest coincidence in the history of the universe

[oolivero]

I'm a 999 call handler for the ambulance service, and the most stupid one I've ever recieved was from someone who was complaining/moaning that there was an ambulance parked preventing him from getting into his garage.

His neighbour had managed to simultaneously have both a stroke *and* an MI (heart attack), and all this self-absorbed walnut could think of was himself.

[naymeequillo]

The hospital socks are the absolute best though! When I had my tubes tied and woke up a bit groggy, I asked a nurse if I could buy a pair and she told me no, and I tried to give her thd pair I was still wearing. I thought they were borrows. I nearly cried when she told me I could keep them and she called me a very "pleasant and polite" patient 😊