How to Charm Anyone Using This CIA Hack

In this clip from Dr. Mayim Bialik, I discuss how this secret got me from social disaster to CIA-level influence.

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[zsngman]

I have known about this process from sales training many many years ago. What I find most interesting though, is that when you do this, I'm always surprised how rarely the other person starts asking me questions back. It typically turns into a never ending conversation about them.

[MarkLightGroup]

When I was a sales trainer, I would teach students that nobody is drawn to you because they think YOU'RE awesome. They're drawn to you because, in your presence, they feel like THEY'RE awesome. Turns out the CIA has great techniques for doing exactly that!

[melvert]

Nothing quite like building a genuine connection with someone than by using a manipulative CIA technique you learnt from a youtube clip. Lovely stuff.

[grahamtebbit]

“The definition of charm is making someone think you are both pretty wonderful”

[nhtmhhj]

My dad taught me this when I was twelve. The other side of it is never talk about yourself. Ever.

[TheAmerz]

I connect with about one new person every 10 years. And I cherish them dearly

[niilespunkari]

One trick with scammers is to give an false answer to them, then it becomes really awkward when they (predictably) agree to your false statement.

[totalyVAmentaldisabled]

I've never had a problem letting the other guy talk all he wants.
Because never in my life have I ever met anyone who's interested in me.
Maybe sometimes someone pretends to be interested.

[Sonicifyouwanit]

This raises red flags for me because narcissists are great manipulators. They ask non stop questions but not just for info to use against you but to wear you down. So when this happens i tend to shut it down. When it feels like an interview.

[HT--nv]

I get calls from solicitors all the time, and I know they use this pattern, but it's blatantly obvious. They ask a couple questions, they agree with me, they validate everything I said, and they really "know where I'm coming from". The funny part is when after I've intentionally allowed them to take me through this process, I tell them I'll think about it. They get so pissed. They thought this method was failsafe. One guy actually refused to take no for an answer. He was literally yelling at me after his procedure failed. It was hilarious.

[jessiesilva]

How to Win Friends and Influence People. Best book I ever read...

[TemplarX]

This is actually pretty good. No catchy scammer pick up line. He is actually trying to make a connection through the first question.

[someoneelse]

I am a natural at this. Somehow. I don’t do it in a manipulative way, but I enjoy finding out about people. I can talk to anyone at a party, whether I know them or not and often have them basically making life confessions to me at times. Everyone enjoys talking about their favorite subject (themselves) if it is brought up the right way. I am now a dealer at a casino and I literally get to do this many times a day. I’ve met some great people, many that I have gotten together with socially after work. I’ve also been hit upon and propositioned more times than I can count and I do well with tips. The odd thing is, I don’t think of myself as an extrovert, I just like making connections. This “skill” has served me well in life.

[Alextheroofspecialist]

This is all pretty basic stuff if you’ve done sales for a while… I can even spot when someone else is trying to do it me, they ask me questions and you can tell they’re trying a little too hard to be liked and relate. The key is to be genuinely interested and ask REAL questions. Not just throwing out the first thing that comes to your mind it is very clear it’s being forced.

[billdrill]

My dad modeled this exact behavior when I was growing up and I realized, just by watching him interact with others, that you become very popular by making others feel “popular.”

[tlhszew]

I learned this a few years after I got into law enforcement. Rapport building when doing interviews is super important, you can literally get criminals to tell on themselves just by becoming comfortable with you

[caribbeanjack]

Genuine people, stay genuine and dont play games. This is always best.

[millercomo]

I feel this is something psychopaths do naturally.

[John-krce]

3:11 'If I don't squint my eyes, my cheeks won't rise, then everyone will know that this laugh is disingenuous'

[JoseVasquez-spkc]

I've been doing this instinctively since I was in High School. It explains why I'm not close to anyone but people consider me their friend even though they don't know that much about me.