Married For 20 Years And No Sex?

Married For 20 Years And No Sex?

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[bonnieestucker]

It's clear it's not a great marriage, but a nice friendship.

[LindaMeade]

You're not spouses. You're roommates.😊

[HannaGerami]

Intimacy is a huge, massive, important and a powerful part of any relationship and all marriages. Intimacy is the communication between souls. We say things during intimacy that are not vocally said but surely heard and touched by soul.
Intimacy isn’t only sexual but it’s spiritual too.
That’s why we kiss and we hug, that’s the language of love. And it’s common in all religions, all cultures and all ages.

[carolinephillips]

Intimacy is the difference between a friendship and a successful relationship

[cookiearmy]

As someone who experienced this with my ex and then found a new relationship that has very strong intimacy, I promise you, intimacy is important.
With intimacy comes trust and the ability to be vulnerable with each other and still feel safe.

[jeaninefrye]

When there is No Intimacy between a husband and wife, the walls go up! You becom strangers… no touching is what one does with strangers! 😢

[catreenaharris]

You can hear the pain in his voice. We need physical touch as humans to survive. God bless him

[copperthompson]

For physical intimacy you need to feel 100 % safe. Emotionally, physically, spiritually. If you don’t it becomes harder and harder. Once the distance is there it’s very very hard to amend.

[vxCOCOxv]

After 15 years, I told my spouse I’m tired of not being touched unless he wants it. So I tried and pushed it on him… he said “ I feel sick. The way you’re talking like I’m going to puke.”
I want to feel wanted! I get asked out and asked for my number all the time and he doesn’t want me! I so miss that feeling- I’m wanted everywhere but with my spouse.

[favourolanipekun]

I have a female friend like this too, she can’t stand physical touch. It’s usually from Trauma. Hers was from molestation from an Uncle 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[MsAubrey]

While the video situation is very different, I’m seeing concerning comments throughout. I’m guessing there’s several people here that are relatively young.

I am seeing a lot of younger (39 and younger) people (yes, I’m assuming) commenting about a week or month without sex, a marriage being over…

You’re not thinking about when someone gets very sick, or has something physically occur, or even erectile dysfunction. These are all factors as you age. Hormonal fluctuations… Frequency of intercourse will change over time.

I want to highlight though, that the INTIMACY still needs to be there though. Intimacy does not equate intercourse. There’s SO MANY ways love is shown without intercourse.

To the people saying, “After a month…” or “Even after a week…” would you divorce a spouse for being diagnosed with MS, cancer, or who ends up physically disabled for some reason? What if your BP is so high that you have to take meds that cause ED (aka you can’t get it up anymore) and taking an ED medication (meds that help get it up) will likely cause you to have a stroke? See… these are things that no one talks about. These things happen as you age.

[christinacanto]

If he can stay married to her despite no touch, it IS a great marriage. If one of them was ill and he stayed, ppl would praise him. But bc his wife’s condition is misunderstood, they’ll tell him to leave her.

[cookiemonster]

If she cant stand touch, could also be from undiagnosed autism/ adhd. Sensory needs are valid but require knowledge conversation and self work + work with your partner. Before I got my diagnoses I went through a faze of hating being touched. Wasnt until I recognized my sensory needs that I could address them + adjust. If their relationship is great minus the physcial aspect, theres a need for conversation, and an in depth look at why this is happening. Communication and self awareness is vital. If you and your partner love eachother, these things can be worked through - but communication is key.

Edit: I'm tired of the replies so let me clarify my intention with this comment. Firstly - I've been told in the comments the longer interview ruled out autism/ADHD factoring in. Before I was made aware, I wasn't intending to make excuses for anyone, but offer a possible reason, because for me, prior to my diagnosis I also had a phase of hating being touched. I wished someone had told me to look into ADHD or autism because it would have made me understand myself and my needs better. It's not an excuse to treat people poorly, but sometimes we do that inadvertently before we realize what's going on with us. Recognition is the first step to make change. And part of that recognition is realizing how you've treated people. Even if this man's wife doesn't have ADHD or autism, I'd hoped my comment would reach others who may have sensory issues and not understand their needs - I know I didn't. Getting a diagnosis doesn't excuse bad behaviour but it can be a step towards fixing things if you're willing to do the work. This man has obviously been through a lot and my heart feels for him. The wife could just be mean or using him or any of the other theories in the comments. That's why I said could. If it doesn't line up for her or for the reader/viewer, that's okay. Hope that clears that up.

[debralunn]

You can feel the emotion or lack of as he says Yeahh!

Broke my heart...

[dawnsalisbury]

My dad lived with a wife that stopped all forms of affection after they were married for 10 years. His life was miserable!! Then he got diagnosed with dementia in 2011( she did not tell his family and he didn’t even know) and she began scheming to about all the things she would do to him if she had to take care of him😡 I truly thought she was kidding! 2019 she began leaving him alone for hours at a time and he progressively got worse. I found out in 2022 that he had dementia she said and I asked what they were doing and she said nothing! The evil things she did to him💔😭😡😡😡😡 I tried to help him and no one would help she had lied for years about him being a violent man and no one believed me!! I lost him a year ago 7-24-24💔💔💔 I have not been the same!! Do not be with someone if they are not kind and kindness is affectionate

[tigger]

I had 5 kids in 10 years and nursed them all to 2 years. After that I was definitely touched out for a while. I was also touched for some short seasons postpartum. I told my husband and he understood. Fortunately it didn't take long for me to recover and now I'm all about hugs all the time from our kids again.

[smartluck]

I am in the same boat as this guy. Sex was fucking amazing until my wife developed endometriosis and all kinds of female problems. She had a hysterectomy that totally destroyed her sex drive. We’ve been married 32 years. Marriage is more than sex.

[Rita_]

So many people that I know have these marriages. They stay together because of so many reasons 😢

[lesliephinney]

My 25 year marriage ended because of this, I could not stand him to touch me in any way. I can’t explain why that’s just how it was. Like a switch flipped.

[katst]

This is the second example that I hear in my life for a marriage without any sex