A Question to Ask Ourselves When We Are Low and Paranoid

There’s a difficult mood we’re in danger of falling into that’s made up of four elements in particular: low spirits, guilt, paranoia and irritability. It’s in such a mood that we might step back and ask ourselves a distinctive question:

"Might I - at heart - be very angry with someone right now?"

FURTHER READING

“There’s a difficult mood we’re in danger of falling into that’s made up of four elements in particular: low spirits, guilt, paranoia and irritability. In such a mood, we may feel guilty and ashamed without being able to put a finger on anything concrete we’ve done. At the same time, we’re in a paranoid state of mind, as if people out there didn’t like us especially, or we were in imminent danger of being found out for doing something forbidden. And then we might feel non-specifically irritable – and get uncommonly grumpy when we can’t find a household item or the printer jams…”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Natalia Biegaj

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Graeme Probert

[xDEAD_Inside]

Every single passing day I realize that many around us are literally mentally ill and we are basically playing the floor is lava every day!

[dandylion]

I like how you mentioned that one can be justifiably angry with one's therapist. Therapists are at times portrayed as the ultimate paragons of truth and inner harmony, but we forget they too are human and just as susceptible to the occasional social misdemeanor.

[matadormartin]

This couldn't have come at a better time really. My dad died a couple of months ago, and I spent so many years of my life fantasising about telling him how angry I am with him, and list out all the harm he caused me and the rest of my family. Now in my 40's I thought I was 'mature' enough to bury all that anger and try to forget it, but now that he's dead that fantasy of raging at him has died too, and I am going to have to find a way of processing it. I'm going to his flat to clear stuff out this weekend as it happens, and 'low and paranoid' is exactly how I have felt this week running up to it. Lots of very complex feelings.

[Tallcupcake]

“Censored outward expression” is a concise description of the entirety of my personality for as long as I can remember myself. Even with the self-awareness that I have today, sometimes I feel I am unable to break free from the invisible restraints of my upbringing.
Thank you for helping us better understand the darker corners of our unconscious mind.

[olgamarinho]

One of the most challenging emotions for me.

[aquacruisedb]

01:50 I wish I'd known this before I became a parent. I was taught as a child to respect and do as I was told, and shut it. I simply passed this on. Only now I realise my best intentions was probably the worst parenting. I am very angry with someone, permanently - myself!

[ProdProddy]

I was taught that if I'm angry over something its always my fault. As if anyone is always allowed to do anything to me and I should just stfu about it. But if I do something wrong to anyone else everybody suddenly goes completely mental. Pretty weird to me tbh😅

[francescoserio]

It's incredible that I got the notification of this video exactly when I was typing a text to someone who I realized made me really angry

[ghostofbex]

Anger is always that one emotion that everybody shuns yet it is very powerful & is something that should not be contained for too long. I’m aware the goal of it is to find a healthy outlet. I also know, anger is the part of you that fights for your injustice.

[bAa-xjut]

Finally! Someone understands what i'm going through 🙌

[peaterrepeater]

I‘ve been in terribly toxic longtime relationship and would swallow a lot of accusations to keep it going, for years. Recently said relationship ended and now I feel confronted with a wall of anger and other difficult emotions, like everything swallowed over the years comes back and wants to be dealt with, quite exhausting.

[tinalaursen]

And do you know what is behind anger? Fear. Fear to say the truth because then the boss will fire us, spouse leave us, dog bite us, and machine fall on us. It's much easier to say or be angry than admit we are afraid of the consequences to express our frustration or to find ourselves a solo flight in the world. Life is really a balancing act in the end.

[Domn]

This channel is incredibly valuable to a new parent determined to make their child less messed up than themselves.

[TheOutlierToday]

Usually the someone I'm angry with is myself

[TakeBackYourMind]

This is one of so many reasons why it's important to observe and investigate emotions sometimes, rather than react to them. If that's something you're trying to work on I've found mindfulness and CBT are really good tools to use.

[diana-hxqz]

I'm very frustrated. Over the past years, my general mild depression/somewhat severe anxiety has more frequently manifested in a rage I keep suppressing. The last two years have been really rough on me when I'm back home from school since I can be easily triggered by family members who emotionally harm me. This year I've been so proud of myself for feeling a lot better - but recently those negative family members visit more frequently, and I'm struggling again with my anger issues. I feel like I can't say anything, because they are emotionally immature (hell, I am too) and I feel like there's no way of going about it without a bigger fight or them straight up not listening. I need to start setting boundaries and communicating - but in the moments, I am so enraged I cannot speak, and I have chest pains and other physical symptoms that feel awful, so I feel the need to escape and hide away instead of expressing my needs. It's an awful feeling and I don't know how much longer in life I can tolerate it.

[NoeleVeerod]

I don't agree entirely. We may be angry with someone, yes, but WHY? Because if this anger at someone else stems out of something petty, or entirely and arrogantly self-centered, then the problem is not the other person but rather ourselves. The world doesn't exist solely in our function (just as we don't exist solely in function of everything/everyone else). Not every motive is valid, and I find it really hard to agree otherwise.

That's the only caveat I have here. I do agree that anger has to be "used" somehow instead of being kept inside and restrained. That energy could be employed in some way that isn't destructive or damaging.

[frantaheinz]

You know
Yours and Alan Watts’ voices are one of my favourites!

[FluiidGliitch]

While in the throes of mending my own relationship with anger, how that's fueled my chronic depression, self-hatred and exhaustion from people pleasing, this video couldn't have come at a better time. I need to respect what my anger is telling me, love myself and express my anger constructively. Thank you for yet another brilliant video!!

[Veistcoatt]

I felt this. When I get angry or upset at something, it suddenly becomes "I hate myself. I'm the worst. Or I'm not allowed to feel this." I can't exactly pinpoint why and how, but I guess some things had been internalized, tho it's not the read translation of the truth.