If you don’t want kids listen to this.

[deezed]

The problem is that a lot of women think they’ve chosen a partner who will share the workload but once they have kids they find out they were wrong

[joyc]

I'm a mom and I will say to younger women, if you doubt wanting them, don't have any. If you want them, have only as many as you can raise by yourself regardless how much you're in love.

[ezzie_is]

I was child-free by choice right up until getting a hysterectomy at 32. It’s actually shocking how differently people treat me when I say I’m infertile, instead of choosing to be child-free, despite my infertility ALSO being my choice. I could have suffered with my endo another 10 years waiting to want to have a child, but instead I put my health first. And I couldn’t be happier.

[RachelPazBrasil]

My obgyn was right to the point" look, you're young and already have two kids. Your husband doesn't have a good financial situation and you have no family support. And in the end, most of the work raising the kids will be yours. Don't have more children. " I left his office shocked... best advice someone has ever given me.

[jewelsfee]

I'm weirdly happy that no one has tried to make me have kids. My bf since day one said it's my choice not his cuz it's my body. My mom the day I turned 18 wanted me to have a baby but never made me feel bad or pushed me to have one.. she just wanted to be a grandma. I've been told my whole life I'd be a great mom cuz I am good with kids but I have health issues and having a sick mom would suck.. I don't want my health to impact them or possibly also make them sick.. so I just didn't have kids.. I still could I'm almost 35. But that window is closing and I still don't feel like I am missing out.. I'm an aunty to some pretty great humans so I'm good with that.

Edited to say thank you to all the people in the comments. There are good people in this bunch!!

[UpsideDown.Bat]

Great advice for someone who wants kids, not someone who doesn't. If someone doesn't want kids that's totally fine and valid. It's their body and their life and we shouldn't be trying to pressure people into doing something they don't want.

[amandac]

I’m gonna be real I am just terrified of the pain and also can’t even look after myself half the time at 33 lol. Mental illness also runs rampant on both sides of my family and I don’t believe I am capable of being there enough for a child who may need my support should they inherit anything as I have a hard time dealing with my own mental problems. But respect to all you mothers out there ❤

[Outrageous]

38 and the reason I don’t have children is like she said I haven’t found someone who wanted to partner with me to raise a child. Never wanted to do it alone so here we are… 🤷🏻‍♀️

[H.Michele]

The other day I heard the term “married single mom” for the first time and it just completely validated both of my marriages. Now I’m a solo parent and, honestly, as hard as that is, it’s easier than being married to a man who is cold, bitter, and unwilling to engage.

[mashi]

So odd that the default when a woman says she doesn't want kids is to immediately suggest that no, she really does she just hasn't happened upon the right circumstances.

[JaquieRave]

She is giving advice based on the assumption the girl has on motherhood. That is okay. What is not okay is when someone gaslights you and ignores your concerns or thoughts on motherhood

[Faith-Baby]

As a mother of 5 I’m happy for all you people who don’t want kids🥳💃🏾may you love your best lives!

[hrs]

Her reasons for not wanting kids is valid. ANY reason for not wanting kids is valid. What isn’t valid is having kids you don’t really want. It’s not fair to you. It’s not fair to the child. Don’t have kids if you aren’t 100% sure that’s what YOU want.

[yonaraalexandre]

I've got 3, and anyone that says that they don't want kids is going to be supported by me!! Your reasons are valid, and you have a right to live a child free life if that's what is best for you!! I love mine, and I wouldn't change them for anything in this world, and yet I support my child free by choice friends because they supported mine to have my children! ❤

[literally_an_owl]

Fun fact- I just don't want them. That's it. No more reasoning. I just don't have any desire have kids. And that's okay! It's okay to not want kids, it's okay to change your mind, it's okay no matter what!

[marvelgeek]

It’s still ok to not want kids, you have opportunity to change that if you change your mind. But I know some people are set on not having kids and lead there ideal lives

[mzy]

No one can garantee a perfect father to their kids or a partner who shares tasks or parenting equally. You dont know for certain until its too late sometimes. You also need to be prepared to parent on your own in case your spouse gets sick or passes which has happened in my circle to a young couple. You never know what life will throw at you, do whats best for you

[HeritageHighlandAcres]

After giving birth to my final child years ago one of my coworker who never wanted kids came up to me and asked me if she was a selfish woman for not wanting kids and asked me if she should have one anyway. I have 6 kids, 3 bio and 3 adopted, so clearly I personally like kids. But I assured her that her not wanting kids was neither selfish nor made her less of a woman. We need to layoff the pressure. Both men and women should be free to choose if they want to have kids.

[FiiAFFs]

Since I don't want kids I would never dream of marrying someone who wants to co-parent. I want to marry someone who, like me, does not want kids.

I deserve to be heard and my feelings respected as much as parents and people who want kids.

[laylahapshetsutbellydanc-yrlc]

The perfect response should have been, "Honey, you do you. Everyone has different goals and aspirations in life, and if this is not for you, then so be it! You can always be the fun aunt if you want to be!"


You can never determine how your partner will act before the time... they could be perfect before the kids are born, but soooo unplugged afterwards. You can control your behaviour and mindset, but no one else's.