“I want Kids. My husband doesn’t” Christian Marriage Advice

Today's question (one we get quite often) is around what a wife can do, if she is in situation where, she want kids or wants to quit her job, but her husband is not on the same page. We pray that it is helpful and encouraging to you!

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[ThisMamasHouse]

Beautiful video! My husband didn’t want any more children after number 3. I prayed everyday and was respectful of his wishes and also expressed my desires to him. We now have 6 beautiful children (and I’m still praying for more 😉) prayer is really the most powerful thing for our husbands!!

[purposefilled-forever]

Can’t tell you how much I needed this video. Thank you. 🙏

[a.chavez]

In this season right now! We had two children young and then due to pressure of the world (neither of us were Christians at this time) we decided we were permanently done 😔. Years later when I was Saved I seen children through new eyes and my heart longed (and still does) for more children, but my husband didn't feel the same way. When I actually sat down and had a real talk with him about it (instead of just baby hints or jokes) I could see in his eyes that he really didn't feel the same. At that point I knew and stopped making baby remarks, realizing it sounded naggy. I know God can perform miracles or change hearts if it's meant to happen. Even though I'd still love to have babies I try and not dwell on that and instead focus where our relationship is right now in life (and the two blessings of children that God had already given us). Who knows.. maybe God is putting this desire on my heart for something else in the future.

[allie]

Wow thanks so much for this peace giving advice and biblical wisedom. The mounting pressure of age and wanting a child really tests a woman’s ability to submit! It’s so easy to resent your husband on this, this video is so soothing, thank you!

[kerrijohnstone]

I’m a Christian woman who is still single so I don’t face the dilemma. As a 54-year-old it would be too late for me to naturally be children so if I were to marry now it would have to be someone like Mike Brady with four children and knowing my luck, it would be just that LOL sorry just a icebreaker I think in reality though it’s something to take to prayer together but never ever tried to force the other partner except his decision for the time being. You can always look again at the situation in 12 months or two years and see how the partner feels the Lord will change the heart eventually, I pray for couples in this situation. God bless.

[CarportCarl]

Good advice! Now people need to see how the Lord allows things to pan out.

[milliemcdonald]

My ex husband said he wanted kids until after the honeymoon. Then, he decided to discourage me. And then he stopped having sex with me. I developed endometriosis and had to have a hysterectomy at year 15 of our marriage. I stayed for 10 more years and gave up.

[Thechristianfight]

Please upload videos more frequently! It’s hard to find Christians with views as you guys have!

[Naliyah.christine]

Hello thank you for this video, I am a Christian woman who desires marriage, but I don’t want kids due to trauma.

[dantekun]

But how do you handle it the other way around?
My wife and I always talked about having kids and a family (she always said she wanted 2-3).
But now after the marriage, she told me she doesn't want any.

[ReformedFamilyWorship]

I want more kids but my husband does all he can to prevent it. I have no part in preventing pregnancy. It hurts and I’ve talked with bad him about it but he’s a wall. I have to forgive him for withholding that from me. I also have to surrender it the LORD. Looking for perspective I may not be seeing. What do you think?

[emilyperkins]

I just found these video or channel. Very good points.

[brightpage]

Listen to your wife!
Have them early while you're still young enough to enjoy their littles years instead of me exhausted or pained by them. Also, if you want them to have strong relationships with their grandparents, have them while their brands are still young!

I waited. Until I had the college, the career, the savings... And that last part comes in handy... Not for nothing...

But by the time a husband and children came along for us, my older sister's children were teenagers. They'd grown up with visits and our parents babysitting, actively playing with them as youngsters...

By the time we had ours, our parents can't be as involved due tontjeor own health issues and age. Visits with energetic or rambunctious toddlers are no longer comfortable for my parents.

Their relationships are still strong but not nearly as present. My parents have spent the last now 20 years traveling to my nieces and nephews events and school functions, but can't make it to those of our own children.

I had no idea how much that would hurt. Or how jealous I would feel on my children's behalf.

I thought I was doing the right thing. Financially, economically...

But I waited too long and despite healthy pregnancies, had very complicated births and because of that one of our children has special needs and will his whole life.

Don't wait too long.

There will be hard things either way. Choose your hard. There will never be a perfect time to start a family.

But there might be a reason He gave us reproductive desires most strongly during our young adult years.

Don't waste time.

My older sisters' children got the benefit of 4 generations of support and in person care.

We are lucky to have 3.

If families help society grow in strength, and you have a strong marriage - start now.

If there are cracks in your marriage then take a look at those 1st. Because they will be magnified without sleep while wiping diapers... With one teething and another potty training all over the hallway... Needing baths right after you get them into Sunday best being late to church...

Your situation is uniquely your own. No one can tell you what to do or what will be right for you.

Know that the early years of infants / toddlers are the most challenging on marriages. The most likely to face temptations outside the marriage, etc. Stresses like finances or work pressures... Can get you down worse during this time. Know that going in and strategize.

We had to make rules not to talk to one another while the children were screaming or we'd wind up screaming at each other. Even if we were trying to help offer suggestions for caring for the child in volume.

We lived in part off the savings from pre-motherhood career for wound up 10 years until the youngest is in school full time. It helped. But was it worth the other things we wound up sacrificing for that? I'm not sure.

A big decision... Glad you are thinking it through.

Dad, just wait until you see your progeny for the 1st time. I dare you ;o) You thought you loved their mother! 😆 You had no idea what love is. Your heart might burst with joy and pride and protective feelings. Like never before. Life gets real.

[mandaechesi]

I can't understand how a Christian is putting a hold on welcoming children after marriage, . Whats Gods purpose for marriage? Does it mean you / he is using birth control? If yes, it means you both are not open to children and Gods time; Isn't that pick and choose in loving and obeying Gods commands?
Well, what do i know!

[kerrijohnstone]

I don’t know how cheerful I would be if my husband sent me off to be a slave labourer LOL you need to remember the scripture that also says “husbands love your wives“ too many men forgive me. I’m not meaning to personally offend you too many men forget that part of the scriptures and take advantage of the I’m the boss, so before we go sending off the wives to being a slave Labour sorry, remember Paul instruction to husbands love your wives and I think he put this in so that the men didn’t get out of control thinking I’ll look at this. I’m not head of the household so I can tell her to do whatever I want whenever I want Paul, I say no. And again I say no remember to that Christ is the head of the husband so would Christ approve you sending your wife off to be a slave labour? No is that loving your wife? No so it’s not quite as simple as you’re making it, I believe in a healthy Christian marriage That all things should be discussed as equals however yes the husband gets the ultimate say but only with prayer because you know what Jesus gets the ultimate say. God bless again.😊

[brightpage]

PS Momma be careful what you wish for. Once they arrive, your autonomy is gone. Gone. Gone. Away. For good.