If you don't want kids, watch this

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00:18 💭 My take on societal pressure
01:34 💵 Reasons why people choose to not have kids
03:08 👶 Declining birthrates
04:07 🤌🏻 Importance of communication in relationships
04:56 🌸 My personal story & reasons
07:47 💻 Pressure on the internet + different kinds of families
09:04 ❤️ You're enough

[sharons.]

Good discussion. I personally love kids and have three of my own, but I totally respect someone for choosing not to have them.

[lisabethb]

I firmly believe that you and Dongin would make fantastic parents but I really admire you two for giving this life changing event a lot of thought. Kudos to you both for not succumbing to pressures from friends or family. I raised 3 wonderful daughters but I have always wanted to be a mother and wife. Never wanted a career. So I have lived my ideal life with no regrets whatsoever! Thank you for sharing and I hope you and Dongin have a long and happy life full of love, happiness and a lot of laughter!🙂❤️🇺🇸

[RaNDoM_FeLi]

I agree 100%. Personally I don't want children myself. And if you make this decision for yourself it should be as well respected as if someone wants kids. Everyone should be able to decide this without always having to deal with bad and critical comments and the pressure from your social surroundings to become parents.

[Jeannette.]

I’m 43 and still don’t want children, sorry I never had that motherly instinct at all

[nutmeg-]

These are all good points and something I've dealt with a lot. I'm 40 now, have a few debilitating conditions, money issues, and sometimes I still feel my family trying to guilt trip me. 😅🙃 It's better for me to be child free.

[elysianluvs]

Omg Farina you are right on time. I can relate to this 😭 perfect timing.

[estahya]

Thank you for this video! As a woman turning 31 soon I feel like I get this question a lot. I don't want children, I love them don't get me wrong. I've always loved babysitting cousins. But I have been struggling with my mental health for well over 17 years now and it is a journey that I know will take me many more years... if not a lifetime. Ever since I was a teen, I knew that I wouldn't want children of my own, I struggle to keep myself up and running everyday and I could not give a child the attention and energy it needs. Besides, the economy does not allow me to be a stay-at-home mum, life is too expensive and only living on my partners income would not cut it, at all. And I know with my mental health issues I could not work+take care of a child. I know I wouldn't be in it alone, I have a loving partner and family. But I know that I could never offer a child the stability it deserves and needs. And I am okay with that, I also believe that not everyone is meant to have children and it doesn't need to have anything to do with one's view of children. Some people can be happy with their partner and maybe a pet or two. That's what I want for my future and I know my partner does too. So yea... thank you creating this opening for us to talk about it. ♥

[johannaporz]

And even if you want kids, they also talk and tell you, you miss out. Miss out your mid twenties, you should do that, and that first. 25 is too young, you wasting your youth, travel, settle later...
They will always tell you you did wrong, too early to late, one child too much or less, none at all... Don't listen do your thing, you need to be happy ❤

[alva--._..l-._.-l.._.--]

I love when people think that the fact of not wanting children is being selfish and then they'll tell you that you'll have no one to take care of you when you're old. So, you think you should have children so they need to take care of you when you're old?! Now, who is being selfish???

[lethalprincess]

1:18 I’m glad you acknowledge that you aren’t one of those people. Because a lot of the people I know that don’t want kids say that they hate them. I’m glad you don’t hate children, and I’m glad you see it as a matter of whether you can give those children what they need or not. You are logical, and I appreciate that.

[dudie]

I never got those questions when it was 'time' to start thinking about having children or not because from a very young age I always said I do not want them. Sometimes when I see cute babies I'm like how cute and sometimes think how it would be being a mom but still that's not enough reason for me to have them myself. I just enjoy seeing children of my friends and family. And I wouldn't mind baby sitting my future niece or nephew but I know I will always be glad that they go home eventually. And the argument that "who is going to take care of you when you are older?" is stupid. You wanted children, you should not guilt trip your children in taking care of you. They didn't ask to be born, they don't have to pay you back in a way because you wanted them.

[linzee]

It was so nice to hear you talk about this. People put far too much pressure on having kids. I love kids but I don't want any of my own. You make so many good points. Love your channel!

[duds]

I don’t want to have kids, I’m 23 and single. I’m tired of people telling me that it will pass and it’s not my responsibility to fulfill their dreams or principle about what’s woman’s role in society (in theirs minds). Pregnancy it’s life changing, your body, hormones, yourself. You won’t be the same and I’m not ready for that, don’t think I ever will.
I grew up with a narcissist mom and a “do what you want” dad (he were always lovely and financial support, but he never understood my anxiety problems, something that sometimes mom did) but anyway, my home was a mess, still is cause they hate each other. I can’t and I won’t bring a child to live the hell I lived when my parents fought. It’s not their fault the marriage was shitty. I grew up hating my body, hating so many things I still can’t comprehend cause I didn’t heal yet. What if there’s something I didn’t heal from? What if I hurt them emotionally cause I’m a mess. I can’t be irresponsible as my parents were and pretend that “I don’t know what you’re talking about, that never happened” and that’s why I choose to not have kids, for their safety. Not only that, I know I’m not that responsible, the image of the future life I want there’s no space for kids, and I won’t have them just to force them into it.

[OneLuvOneHeart]

Due to my choice of dedicating 24 yrs to military service, I decided not to have children. When I was in the military, especially if you were a woman, it's starts with " You're 20 something, when are you getting married?" and every boyfriend you have becomes that 'potential spouse' . Then when you DID get married, it became, "So when are you two gonna have babies?" It was like the culture. Your supervisors, your co-workers, and friends CONSTANTLY bugged you about it. If you weren't married by 30, folks started to side eye you and think something was wrong with you. And if you were the single, childless one, you had to work all the late shifts and holidays. Your life and time were seen as frivolous. You had 'no responsibilites', so you took on extra work. The more they bugged me about my life choices, the more obstinate I became.

Then by the time I retired...I was TIRED! AHAHAHA! You need to have the time and ENERGY to raise a healthy child. Now, seeing the state of the world, I wouldn't dream of having a child. I'm glad I didn't. To be a parent in today's world, you must be, HAVE to be, BRAVE person. This is why I respect people who make this choice. I give ALL PARENTS major props!

I just wish that people who decide NOT to have children would receive the SAME amount of respect. We DON'T hate children. We don't think we are better than anyone else. If anything, we are being emotionally responsible and MATURE enough to know that it's NOT for us. That we understand what it takes to raise a child in today's world. If we are not WILLING or ABLE to take care of a child, it would be irresponsible to become parents. It wouldn't be fair to have a child due to societal pressure. The child is the most important being in all of this... more important than the need to please others or fit in.

[swtjazzybellz]

Yes, I agree! I just turned 40 this year, and parents/relatives have told me that I should've been having kids and that I'm being selfish and missing out. But I definitely don't want to have kids just for the sake of having kids, or like it's some kind of competition within the family. Each person has to do what's right for them, even if society/family/etc says otherwise. <3

[JenniferHK]

I raised my baby sister when I was 13 and it made me realize how hard and stressful it is to raise a kid. Growing up, I realized it wasn't for me. I respect people who want kids (love my nephew), but I definitely don't want one. I also have 2 auto immune diseases and I don't want to pass them to a kid because it's so hard and tiring to live with. Really affect mental health too... I hate being judged for that by so many people, but It is more mature to say it's not for me instead of having one. Thank you for talking about this still taboo subject.

[LoveTheVoid-lgss]

I am 25 and i knew since i was 16, that i will never give birth to a child. now, i don't think i would be capable of taking care of a child at all. i am still busy raising my parents so i am happy to be an auntie to my friends kids but i don't see myself becoming a mother.

[Composery]

Im so glad there are other people that think about it this much. Great video, well said!!

[nuchii]

Omg Thank you so much for speaking on this i know this conversation made so many people feel so seen and I absolutely love when you sit down and have conversations like this. You are so well spoken and your words are very appreciated🩷

[Divineloverz]

Since I was a child I knew I didn’t want children because my own childhood had so much strife and drama that I didn’t want another child to suffer the same fate. As an adult I suffer from OCD and those repetitive thoughts and compulsions are so hard to deal with that I’m still staying firm on the no child policy. I think children are great. I know I was. 😅