When Should You Leave a Church? | Real Life Hard Questions

Pastor Lee Kricher and others join the panel to discuss when, if ever, it's a good idea to leave your church.

[ahayes]

As a preacher, it's been my observation that many pastors can be unreasonable, uncaring and completely out of touch to the needs of their flock. I've seen lives almost ruined because some pastors' response to suggestions, constructive criticisms, misunderstandings, or questions of polity, to name a few, turn to persecution, slander and abuse. And still they preach and teach the word of God; albeit walking craftily and handling the word of God deceitfuly: basically to push "my agenda" as one such pastor told me. A brief case in point? There was a season in a particular church where there was a sudden and protracted focus on ministry activities for married couples; literally to the exclusion of just about everyone else. One unmarried young lady, perhaps in her early thirties, whose entire life, from a child, had been invested in that ministry, asked the pastor why not create activities to minister to the single people as well. His response was simple and very emphatic. He told her to, "...get married and you won't have that problem." What a sad indictment. I offer this perspective because the one-sided answers of this panel places the responsibility squarely on the sheep and not the Shepherd. And it smacks of the arrogance of Job's miserable comforters.

[cecilialugo]

Follow after CHRIST not the learned MUCH visiting churches to know don't trust people....trust in the Lord with all your heart!

[serenityocean]

If there’s ANY kind of ABUSE going on in the church no amount of reasoning and discussions to ‘work things out’ are going to help. It’s time to just RUN!

[annaamileav]

See I love my church but I don’t feel feed I leave feeling confused and empty my pastor sugarcoats his preaching and most of all I feel alone my church does not really do anything to win souls and when I try to get involved I’m hungry for God and I don’t wanna keep wasting time siting and not growing

[sprint]

Sometimes we need to move to a new church home for personal reasons, like continuing spiritual growth, regular fellowship, and compatibility with others in the congregation. I had all these things at a church I was in for 3-1/2 years. Then the friends and companions I connected with moved on to other places and my small group and Sunday school groups were both discontinued. I tried another Sunday school group and wasn’t able to connect with the group I was in. I didn’t see any of these things as a problem with the church I was in; God was calling me into a new season and that involved moving to a new church home. Personal reasons for leaving a church aren’t always bad, but they need to be in the interest of continuing your walk with Christ.

[klfrancois]

When Jesus said He would build His church, He was talking about us! We are the new church if we have the spirit of God dwelling inside of us.

[kanikajohnson]

It makes me laugh when a church thinks your not saved if you don't go to there church treating you like you don't know and serve Jesus and the father .it's a joke

[Muggins]

I notice no one is saying "if members are sexually abusing people and no one is doing anything about it, its time to leave" or "if your pastor tells you TO mortgage your house and give the money to the church, its time to leave"

[juice]

My pastor actually puts himself above God and stops us from praising when he doesn't want to anymore even when everyone is on fire for the Lord😢. It's so sad to say goodbye after 18 years but I believe it's time.

[johncrouch]

If the local church you attend handles the Scriptures badly or falsely, or that the Gospel is not being preached according to the Word of God then you should find somewhere that it is!

[strongbada.]

Yeah, these answers are from pastors who are answering from their perspective as pastors. I agree with all their answers for the most part. What is lacking from their answers is the perspective of people who have left churches for reasons that the pastors did not mention.

One of those reasons would be leaving because of spiritual abuse from the leadership, official or unofficial leadership. These pastors are totally lacking in that perspective because they are more than likely coming from a healthy point of view of spiritual leadership.

It’s a definite blind spot.

[jacqueline]

When you start to flourish and people notice you and the pastor becomes discontent at your influence.

[GabrielleEther]

When you watch something like this and realize how much you've grown...blessed!!

[caramelunicorn]

also how does one join ministry when your never good enough to join some clique in the church

[charijones]

Thank you for sharing this, sometimes you can't talk to the leaders especially if the leader is Narcissistic and the behavior is supported.

[klfrancois]

The real question is should we even be in an organized church? From my experience, most of the pastors are using the church as a business. They do not reach out to the poor, the mentally ill, the widows. They just like “bring the tithes and the offerings” ! In the New Testament, the church was where two or three were gathered in His name.

[taniagilbert-kennedy]

GOD put me in a church and when the time came that I didn't like it anymore, and wanted to move on.. I couldn't.. when I inquired of the LORD.. He told me, "for where I have planted you, I will keep you, until I alone call you out." Wow!! Who am I to argue with Him. As it was, it was only through offence taken. Thank you LORD, I repent.. and today, 12 years on, I'm still there. Amen!

[Burchamarama]

Thank you! This video helped me so much and validated my need to find a church where I fit in!

[mastertinter]

Once the a church fails to speak the truth in love or fails to be honest with it's people or simply being shunned without explanation it's time to RUN

[jamesdudley]

Im at a cross roads. I am currently a lead rhythm guitar player in the worship team. Im being pulled to another church. I dont want to leave on bad terms because i feel that im the one holding the worship team together. So yeah tough decision. All prayers are welcome
God bless