Sleeping Together Before Marriage

Can Catholic couples spend the night together before marriage? Is it a sin to (just) sleep together before you're married?

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[BlessedisShe]

Praying for all couples who are struggling with this!

[aglenrios]

In my 20's I was neither Catholic nor particularly chaste, but I was shy and depressed so I never went steady with a girl. Later on in becoming Catholic I realized (after much reflection) that I was free in the sense that I was not attached to any feminine charms as I had not even kissed a girl romantically. Now as I discern marriage I want to avoid any physical intimacy beyond a hug so that I can tell my bride that she is, to me, utterly unique in all her feminine charms. This not only gives me a sense of freedom but is a real source of joy.

[nicoleyoshihara]

My aunt didn't understand this concept and she's already 60 and just laughed at me. She says s ghb e doesn't see anything wrong with sharing a room with her bf because they sleep in separate beds. She was my sponsor. I recommend Father Mike Schmitz video on spending the night ok. It really helped. I even recommended this to my aunt but I don't know if she saw it. I realized I idolized marriage and some ideas I had were crushed but better to find out now then later. I think my aunt is still in the idolizing phase

Although I only recently in the past several years learned about how to really date and avoiding sin began way earlier than I had thought. I'm glad I learned about this before marriage and a new relationship

It's really special for marriage. God help me I have not met my future husband. I'm reaching 30. Trying not to idolize marriage and learn about good advice about marriage, engagement, dating etc in a holy way. For other fellow singles may God comfort you this Valentine's Day. You are loved and beautiful 🤗❤💕

[caterinadc]

Brother, this video was the first time EVER I understood the difference between "license" and "freedom". I've heard the distinction drawn so many times before, and may even have repeated it to others and tried to provide others with a helpful interpretation, but today was the first day I 'felt' the understanding of what the difference is. Thank you for your ministry! I believe God is working in you and through you. God bless you.

[asceticfeminine]

oof. This is really a struggle for me right now. I am new to Catholicism from multi-generational sex-cultism (mormon) and I divorced a year ago after being married 12 years (Short story, he didn't approve of my faith awakening and made ultimatums and threats that made it unsafe for me to stay). A few months ago God sent me a man who is also new to Catholicism from mormonism, and was married 12 years before his ex disappeared one day. We are engaged to be married and we love each other very much- and have our eyes wide open to what mistakes we made in our previous marriages, and with the understanding that divorce is not an option this time around. Chastity has been incredibly difficult for us. We have tried to live by these rules, but we have messed up so many times that having sex is just an automatic response with no hesitation on either end. I'm going to confession on Saturday to hopefully make a plan with my priest for moving forward so our marriage will be blessed with grace. BUT IT IS SO HARD.

[HoradrimBR]

We're not delivered from our tendency to sin up until our ressurection. The sacraments help us, but we must fight to death.

[sethapex]

Sleeping in the same bed, even if nothing sexual takes places, still runs the risk of scandalizing anyone who sees the unmarried couple sharing a room or a house.

[nellyyy]

I dont agree. Personally, as I am saved, whenever I’ve been alone with my fiancé I have had every capability to not do anything. It is very easy to have self control when you actually love God. And i believe if i have that self control then there’s nothing wrong with falling asleep with your significant other. Its sleep. Its natural and sweet to sleep with someone you love

[ryanjane]

So, I am a 26yo/F in a chaste relationship for the first time in my life. Neither of us are virgins and we started out (especially me) not knowing that we would be chaste (abstinent until marriage) and started off kissing seductively.. and have since rolled it back a lot and are trying to help each other be chaste... anyways.. I am personally struggling with chastity and am just venting on here! Wondering if maybe someone has a similar/adjacent story to share haha.

[r.walker]

Having sex with a person does not mean you don't have self control, you are literally just doing what you want to do. You are in complete control 9 times out of 10. It all boils down to what you believe and choose to embrace.

[julieburck]

I can see two different scenarios. 1) you travel together for a specific purpose. To visit family for a holiday, a family wedding, etc. but while there you stay in separate rooms. You want a situation where There’s some sort of accountability. For example, I went to my grandfather’s funeral and my fiancée shared a room with my brother. You make it abundantly clear to all in the know that you aren’t “sleeping” together. That you’ve gone to the trouble to make accommodations that protect your reputations. 2) travel together for vacation. Weekend getaways, overnights, etc. to that I say absolutely not. It’s a Terrible Christian witness. People WILL think you’re sleeping together. Especially in our culture. If you want to take vacay trips together, I say put a ring on it. I call BS on people who say they’re only spooning. That may be true, but everyone else thinks otherwise which is just as bad.

[nated]

This video was amazing. I felt so shameful before watching this video. Thank you so much.

[JasonWood]

Sleeping next to someone when both parties consent is not harming anyone and therefore not morally wrong.

[anna-katehowell]

What about the possibility for scandal? That has to be considered as well.

[downfromkentuckeh]

What if the boy sleeps on the floor and she is in bed. Also due to the reason of staying in a hotel being too expensive.

[thomasfaucette]

all i can do is pray for my friend shes like a big sister to i still care about her i just dont want hee to sin n think its an ok thing to do which it isnt not to god

[thomasfaucette]

i have a dear friend that i'm afraid shes sleepin with sum guy she only met a month ago i hope she knows God is always watchin i think the world of her and i dont want her to fall into sin which is not a godly thing at all

[trishinbrissy]

It's hard when you're middle aged and been married before. You always talk about young people.

[q]

Is this what Ross was worried about with me this summer?

[tobymichaels]

Fear of sin has Man inventing a whole panoply of sins that have no divine validation.