If you’re attracted to someone else while you’re in a committed monogamous relationship, that’s fine

[somescretcat]

This is very helpful to people who have obsessive compulsive disorder who literally beat themselves up for thoughts they can’t control, thank you for hearing us and being human. The ppl in the comments are very unaware of what it’s like for ppl like us

[GYALdemFAYA]

Here's the thing. If you're truely in love, you fall in love with that person over and over again. You don't get to entertain thoughts with someone else. What's indeed natural is to find people attractive physically and mentally. But it should not get to the point where you're having fantasies of being with them. If this is totally normal, then you'd probably consider it cool to have fantasies with your best friends spouse. There's boundaries for a reason. A healthy person keeps them effortlessly

[tjbjjtkd]

Yes, it's going to happen. Just set boundaries for yourself. If you really love your significant other, then that love and respect for that person should keep you faithful, but you are out of love with your mate or have no emotional connection, then you might have issues.

[khoakdoan]

Tell this to my ex that broke up with me and immediately got with the guy she caught feelings for.

[robertmosher]

Wrongo bongo.
If you sit and think about hooking up with someone else you have issues.
Thoughts become words....
Words become actions....
Actions become habits....
Habits define our character....

[daphne]

When I’m in love I literally don’t have attraction for anyone else.

[akwwnm]

okay, i'm not used to comment, but I feel now like I should. I'm in really healthy, wonderful, 6 years relationship. We talk, communicate, looking for answears together. We both have our experiences, habits, advantages and disadvantages. We never deceive each other, we don't lie, try to take care of the relation we have, maintain passion, but base everything on deep, mature love. Indeed, sometimes it's difficult to maintain a state of young love/passion in a long-term relationship, but we are trying together, we have our wisecrack - "teamwork". Do I ever think about other hot guys/what if? Hell yes I do. And I'm sure my partner does as well. But everything is fine as long as you don't cross some healthy limits - you just have to define your own limits with your partner.

[anant]

And yes, it magically goes of once u find your right person...coz there's no much energy investment in others and other so called "hot" ppl r out of vision to u wen u truly fall head over heels for someone

[mattfitness]

As lomg as your not cheating on them in the relationship, then yes, I agree it's totally natural at times.

[victorial]

You can teach yourself to not care or look. Especially when you are in love and believe that doing that is dishonoring. Why would we let ourselves think about that? To each their own. But that’s just what I think and do in my relationship.

[madisoncoleman-ve]

totally agree!! but if you love and respect your partner it will always only be looking and no touch or reaching out & you’d never want anything else or feel the urge to act on it. period.

[amandaosbeck]

What If your partner has secret conversations with this person? What if your partner mentions to you that that person is suddenly single? What if that crush has you blocked on sm and hearts and leaves comments on your dig others fb. What if you calmly confront your sig other and they deny everything and then blame you for crush being secretive?

[ashifameer]

I have no one to tell thing about other than my gf so im just telling everything that's in my heart here.some times back i had a crush on a girl. I've had for a long time but then i had to accept that she didn't like me. But then this girl came into my life. I was sooo happy. She was the most perfect human being ever. She made me feel soo loved and cared for. I've never felt that way even around my parents. But for some days she stopped showing interest. She didn't want to talk to me or even look at me. If she did talk to me, it felt like it was forced. And then she said she had lost interest and she had a crush on someone else. My heart literally just stopped. I dont know how just how. She said she wanted to spent the rest of her life with me. That she loved me. She was lieing wasn't she. I just cant stop thinking about the best times that we had. I cried a lot. Some horrible thoughts just came into my mind like "who will i talk to now", "I dont have anyone", "what did i do wrong", "why did she suddenly lose feelings", "was this new guy Better than me". But atleast i know that I've loved her with everything i have. I will try my best not to lose this relationship. I cant live without her. She's my everything. I hope that we are together forever. I just love her soo much. I just hope she's just confused. And if somewhere in there she loves me and she really meant what she said i think we have a chance.

[Mayhem]

This is the worst advice! The bible says lust with the eyes is a sin and u commit adultery with ur eyes, if u don’t know how to have boundaries then thoughts become actions. If ur attracted to other people either get counselling or leave cus that’s not the way MARRIAGE is supposed to be.

[anant]

Don't teach wrong...yeah, think of spending time wid someone else and kissing them and go get tempted...no imagine your partner just all by himself or herself njoying you in their imaginations and you craving another person...beat it, muchacho
It's not fine with everyone other than open relationships or frnds wid benefits...you won't notice any hot perfections wen u hv urs😏💯I was such a perv before n I can guarantee u with my current self😇
Dun encourage cheating and couple fights

[isabelleskiss]

This advice is really useful for filling therapists' offices...
We all have compulsive desires, but we don't have to follow them if they hurt our partner and don't conform to our moral values.
Instinctive impulses can be useful, but they can also plunge our lives into senseless chaos, so you should think about them rationally in order to regain your inner freedom.

[tewstronge]

Maybe this is true but dang. Reality makes me a nihilist bruh

[divasins]

My boyfriend just did this to me. I don’t know about it being “fine” when he was attracted to this cashier chick at the market. You can pick up on the attraction. Now I have nothing but doubts and may break up now. Maybe in your opinion it’s fine but when you’re on the other side, it’s pretty much a dealbreaker or a planted seed of doubt in the relationship

[ruth]

Totally disagree. According to bible Matthew 5:27-29. “You have heard it said of old, 'You shall not commit adultery. ' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

And if you truly love your husband/wife you wouldn't like someone else and imagine such things.

[Killerqueenandstraycatfan]

Thank you I guess I got mad over nothing recently me and my boyfriend got together and he meet someone else and call them bfsbut they say it’s a joke but it rly hurt la a lot and they never even say ily to me anymore and more and basically forgot abt me I thought he was a bad bf but thanks for making this video now I can finally tell what was wrong with our relationship..me I guess I just got jealous for no reason