My Depression Story: Where I've Been & What I'm Feeling

I can't believe I'm uploading this.
Um. So. These are some things I just felt I needed to say.

It's okay not to be okay. I want you to know that. That you're not alone in all of this. Those feelings that you're feeling are valid, you are not wrong in your emotions. But you need to know that this is not a way of life, everyday should not be a bad one and every morning should not be a struggle. If you're feeling unexplainable sadness or having thoughts of harming yourself or others, TALK TO SOMEBODY. I cannot stress that enough. Cutting yourself will not fix your problems. Purging your dinner will not make today better. Those toxic coping mechanisms are causing bigger problems in themselves. I promise you that they will not make any of this go away. Reach out to your parents, friends, people you trust, scream on the top of rooftops until they hear you and listen that you NEED HELP. There is nothing weak or shameful about admitting that you can't do this on your own.
I love you.
I care about you.
You matter to ME.
If you ever hurt yourself it would hurt me.
My love is unconditional & I'm not going anywhere.
We're going to get through this together.
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Little things that have been making me feel better:

SLEEP- this is SO underrated, just by getting 8+ hours of sleep a day I feel like my mind is working so much sharper and more rational
Massages- Expensive, yes. Worth it? YES! They ease tension and have been proven to lighten the symptoms of depression. ( I'm told that acupuncture works wonders, but I'm a little freaked out by that one, but let me know if you recommend it!)
Talking- This sounds stupid I know. But just talking to someone about what you're feeling. A therapist, your parents, your friends, ANYONE- this time around I'm so glad I told my friends and family what I was feeling because now we can talk about it with no shame or embarrassment on my end.
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What I'm Wearing:
Top- My dads....stole it when I went back home, kinda like a security blanket, and I'm embarrassed to say I've worn it every day this week
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OTHER CHANNELS:
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TALK TO ME:
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SHOP:
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BLOGS:
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Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with any of the brands mentioned in this video.
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Camcorder is: Canon T4i
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Enjoy, Comment, Like and Subscribe!
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[laura.mcfarlane]

“It feels like your drowning but you can see everyone around you breathing perfectly”

[Toy_Rumbles]

The worst part is not knowing who to tell

[nikaselakovic]

I started crying because that is exactly how I feel and when I tell my friends and family I have depression they laughed because they thought I was making it up and that I was just being a teenager.

[axleroast]

Depression isn’t ‘just’ being sad, it’s like reliving a bad dream with no positive progression. Nothing makes you happy anymore and the thoughts just sit there with you like a cloud

[ishapatel]

Dear readers,

All the people who are going through depression, anxiety, anything just know that you are strong. Stronger than anyone I've ever talked to. You know why? Because when life gets hard you don't give up. You keep going, and for that you are the strongest people to me. You guys deserve a great life filled with happiness and love. I hope you know you're not alone. There will always be someone to lift you up no matter what you think. This is not just a meaningless message if that's what some of you think. It's the opposite. I'm sitting here in my room at 4:19 am for a reason. That reason is for all of you to know you're loved and that I believe in you. So if you actually read through all this and you're dealing with something just know that I'm proud of you for staying strong and never giving up. xx

Sincerely, Me

P.s. Feel free to hate on me haters because you think I'm stupid or dumb. I honestly don't give a crap. You're irrelevant in my life.

[AwesomenessTV]

Meg, you are one of the nicest, kindest, and best people we know. You are 100% not alone. This takes a lot of courage and we respect you 10x more for having the courage to upload this. You always have a family at ATV and we love the heck out of you. We're here to support you with anything you need! 

[lasafrog]

I'm 41 and barely hanging on right now. Thank you. You made it easier today.

[trinitydunning]

Some how four years later this video pops into my recommended just when I needed it. I needed to hear someone who truly gets it.

[lovelybugs]

This video made me cry so much because its exactly what im going through now, my life isnt great at that moment but it could be worse yet i wake up and cry all the time! I always think about the negative, even though i dont want to its like a switch is going off in my mind and i cant control it! It might just be a bad week but ive never felt like this before:/

[Johnnywithay]

You know what the hardest part of being depressed. Getting told your feelings aren't valid and being ignored or seen differently like your some kind of ticking time bomb. Having to hide your emotions so people don't find out how you feel.

[CantFindAUsername]

This is so beautiful! and it made me feel much better. You really aren't attention seeking- i'm very pleased someone is so honest and helpful!

[Being.Living...]

AND TRUST ME, THE PEOPLE SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION, ARE BATTLING EACH DAY IN THEIR LIFE...

[xxmakeupiscoolxx]

I love you Meghan. I want you to know, you're not alone. I've been through this too, actually a bunch of us have. But you are a warrior, and this is a part of your journey, and you are a princess, and you will make it through this stronger than ever. Don't ever let your tiara fall baby. ☺️💕

[girlenchanted]

I can't believe the amount of hate comments I've seen on this video; bottom line is unless you yourself have been through depression, you can't understand how it feels like. Judge after you've walked a mile in their shoes. And no - I've never been depressed myself. But imagine uploading a video like this (that takes A LOT of courage to upload because they're scared of how it will be received) and seeing how many people post comments against you. It sucks. And especially in this situation; it does not help. There is a difference between hate and constructive criticism.

[poppiesstudios]

You have a lot of people supporting you and loving you, don't forget that.

[lexischlientz]

I’ve felt this, and it’s awful I can’t even explain it, literally doesn’t make sense or I didn’t even know where it was coming from. My whole body just felt weighted and down, and I woke up crying hysterically all the time for no reason. If you’re feeling like this you’re not alone and you will get through it I promise, it’s gonna be hard and upsetting, but just remember you’re gonna get through it because you’re strong and it’s just your mind playing tricks on you.

[IIBRIDGETII]

I cried during this because I'm really depressed and am struggling with eating disorders, but no one believes me because they say I can't be depressed because "I'm too young"

[lit]

My depression was kinda different. I felt sad for no reason. Every morning I was like how am I going to get through this day? I felt tired, I felt like my friends didn't care, even though they did. My life was great. I won states for swimming in my age group, tons of friends,  good grades, but I felt like someone had a hold on my life and they wouldn't let me be happy. I am so happy, because now I am happy, I got depression the same time you posted this video and I am happy now.

[mariefielden]

This is why I love YouTube over the tv.. You see the truth.. You see how genuine youtubers are ... You see real life and not people acting.. Thank you Meghan for that.. We all love you!

[poppypowers]

"I don't even care." That's where the emotion is. That's where not only her voice, but her face tells the truth.