The Problem With Being Too Responsible in Relationships

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Teal Swan is a New Thought Leader, Bestselling Author and Speaker. She was born with a range of extrasensory abilities and is a survivor of severe childhood abuse. Today she uses her gifts as well as her own harrowing life experience to inspire millions of people towards authenticity, freedom and joy and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.

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[babetweirdgirl]

You are only 100% responsible for yourself. Some people can't or won't reciprocate. I'm working on giving less effort while still allowing myself to care.

[collective_tarot]

Yup, we can't change anyone else. They have to meet you halfway

[Woodwose]

Never prioritise someone who doesn't prioritise you or who treats you as an option not their choice.

[StarseedWarrior]

Part of learning how to deal with other people is discernment on whether to deal with them or not.

[gardenandcalico]

I learned this lesson the hard way. For a lot of spiritual folks we think we can manifest the best out of others. But they still have free will. It's easy for us to just become enablers if we aren't willing to just let go of people who aren't choosing their alignment.

[tamarathejudeochristianmedium]

It comes from people blaming you and expecting you to solve every relationship problem. Toxic family will make one or two family members responsible for everyone else 💙🙏🏻💙

[Sk-nbyl]

She’s 100% right. Both sides should be equally involved to make a relationship healthy. It will never work if its done by one side only.

[_PURAVIDA]

This woman seems so desperate. She’s on the verge of tears 😢

[frcomet]

I teach people this if your working on being mature, healthy, e.t.c you gotta understand that someone who is immature, unhealthy can't communicate is not going to wanna be around you and won't be able to keep up with you and that's ok.

[jessicam]

So true, I’m realising this myself, and also that sometimes you need to let go of the need to make every relationship ‘work, ’ because they just won’t unless both people want it and that’s ok, hard to accept at times, but letting go and allowing people to be who they are and bringing your energy back to yourself is a beautiful practice in and of itself. And that includes having boundaries with others who don’t have your best interests at heart etc.

[cynthiaskaggs]

Perhaps by her actions of being the person to carry 100% of the emotional burden of the relationship she is unknowingly attracting the type of people who will carry 0% of the relationship. In some cases this can be rooted in an unacknowledged need to control the direction of the relationship. A need for control often stems from a lack of self esteem. I’m not sure if that’s exactly what’s going on with this woman in particular but it just might be.

[soulthriver-oz]

Aha! I seem to have a similar problem. In that I only meet ppl who haven't done any personal development work & quite honestly, they're just not up to speed on how to have a dynamic functional, happy relationship. They resort to toxic behaviour in conflict etc. I'm tired of kidults.

[Ouranos]

This is a pretty depressing realization. I have commented on my mother way too much as an example and it's because it was the hardest thing to accept that I will never have the relationship I dream of with her because I realized she is incapable of reciprocating to the same amount. I don't understand it because if I had one daughter I would do everything I could to show her all the love and support she needed.

Also when the lady in this video said "its still a reflection of me" i think she was implying the fact I attracted this person into my reality is still a reflection of me and my relationship skills. Maybe I'm reading too much into it because I've often wondered this too. Like I feel like I'm a good friend and I want to see people succeed but it seems my whole life the people who ended up being the closest to me wanted to see me fail/weren't encouraging. Or flipped between both extremes. Which I would guess is a reflection of my self belief wavering....

[BillyBob-ftch]

I have looked around myself several times in life and realized I outgrew my surroundings. I have watched other people grow and look around and move on and the sting was me realizing I needed to do the same. Always a blessing, even if it’s someone else doing the growing. Sometimes your growth and shedding of old skin is the sting someone else needs to grow too and this poor girl trying to keep herself connected to her old situation is keeping those people from what very well might motivate them to better themselves, the sting of loss due to inferiority and being left behind.

[michaelgarrow]

You have 100% control of you. You have 0% control of anyone else.
Good luck 🍀

[sarahjmount]

Teal is absolutely right. You cannot control anyone else’s thinking, behavior, or emotions except your own. No matter what you do or say, you just can’t. The girl may be working hard on improving her relationships with others, and I give her all the credit in the world for that (I’m sure she’s much better than myself at it) but, unfortunately, she remained in an unhealthy place with them. Hopefully, after speaking with Teal, she’s going to have a better understanding and perspective and start getting better at her goal. ❤

[bodyofhope]

Relationships aren't about teaching other ppl to become better ppl.
Relationships are about accepting other ppl as they are, with no judgements. Learning about other ppl. Allowing other ppl to make mistakes and be patient & forgiving.
And be humble enough to know that you're not perfect and others will have to be patient with you and forgive you too along the way.
When things get frustrating, don't give up on ppl. People aren't disposable. It's the most challenging moments in relationships that teach and grow us the most. Never abandon your teachers when they've just started the lesson.

[MAruGGs]

It’s tough seeing people hurting, knowing that there living through that pain, I hope she finds relief on her journey and a fulfilled healthy partnership

[SaltySnack-hy]

"Ignorance is bliss" is so true.

[elizabethwerter]

That’s fighting for someone who doesn’t want you to fight for them. Be where you are wanted and appreciated then you won’t have to struggle.