Can You Find Happiness in Polygamy? | Sister Wives S19 E13

In this reaction video, Sam and Melissa dive into Sister Wives Season 19, Episode 13, exploring the emotional reunion between Meri and her friends who left the AUB religion. They discuss the debate over whether happiness is possible in a polygamous marriage, Christine’s symbolic choice of her wedding dress as a step toward freedom, and Robyn’s daughters’ search for religious community as they navigate young adulthood and dating. Join us for an insightful discussion on faith, freedom, and the complexities of polygamous life.

Chapters:
00:00:00 Seeking Happiness in Polygamy
00:03:16 The Significance of Sealing Ceremonies in Mormon Weddings
00:06:42 Modifying a Wedding Dress for Modesty Requirements
00:09:53 Wedding Photography Outside the Temple
00:13:00 Exploring Faith and Community Choices in Flagstaff
00:16:28 Deconstructing Faith and Identity Loss
00:19:56 Mary's Candid Conversation with Friends
00:23:25 Struggles with Worthiness in Marriage
00:27:20 Monogamy vs. Polygamy: Exploring Relationship Dynamics
00:31:00 Balancing Duty, Love, and Happiness

At Growing Up In Polygamy our mission is to "Create compassion for communities that have been misunderstood, marginalized and/or abused by their leaders, and to empower those who have left by giving them a platform to share their stories with the world."

Insta: @growingupinpolygamy
Theme Song created by @artcowles

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[wisiado]

We often take the pictures before the ceremony, as we go there together. 😊
In Sweden the bride and groom walk together up the church aisle and stop in front of the altar. The bride and groom choose each other as fellow travelers in life and this is illustrated by their walking up the aisle.
Also a very old tradition to mark the bride married out of free will and was not part of a deal (money, land, create bonds to make families more powerful).

[jbaker]

Never heard of a Bridal. The tradition I am familiar with is that the groom does not see the bride in her dress before the wedding. In fact, they stay apart the whole day of the wedding until they see each other down the aisle.

[heatherbrown]

Wait wait remember when Robyn was saying that in their church, Christine wouldn’t be truly considered divorced until she slept with another man? The other wives didn’t seem to know about that rule and we all scoffed at Robyn and thought she was making it up - but maybe it’s true and that’s why the council asks! Robyn is the only one who would have previously been through an AUB release at that point, so the others may very well not have known. 🤯

[daniellerobichaud]

I interpreted Robyn's comment about how important a wedding dress is as a callback to season 1 wedding dress drama (where Kody secretly chose her dress)

[Fuzzyedgz]

What great insight. I think people have judged Meri too harshly for staying with Kody so long. Im learning that Meri has had to deconstruct an entire lifetime of conditioning. Its challenging enough for young people like you guys, so imagine how hard it would be for someone after 33 years of marriage. Ive gotten so frustrated with Meri just not seeing her reality with Kody. Now I understand shes had to change her entire ideology and sense of self.

[Robins-wings]

Loved the family picture! Marriage should be about love and respect, not a duty to a religious organization. We can all see y'all have an exceptionally loving relationship. A beautiful legacy for your children to learn from. Thanks so much for sharing!

[nataliemangis]

It blew my mind that Robyn was so chill about Buddhism but recoiled at dating within a church

[jennifergray]

53yo and grew up Christian in Midwest and south - I have never heard of Bridals /m- it is considered bad luck for the husband to even see the wedding dress before the bride walks down the aisle. This helps explain why it didn’t seem odd to them for Kody and Tony to help pick out the wedding dresses maybe. Most American women were floored by the idea of a man picking out a wedding dress - he isn’t even supposed to SEE it!

[cathywithac]

Andrea and Hilaree are true friends. (FYI: Meri spent Christmas with Andrea and her mom). They grew up in the AUB with Meri. One married in polygamy and left her marriage. The other left the AUB before marriage. They were waiting for Meri in the parking lot immediately after she was granted the Release. They keep reinforcing to her that "No one is happily married in polygamy". She did not fail. Her world view has been pulled out from under her. They are her safety net. Think of them as "The Ex-AUB Club". They are the deprogrammers and dis-entanglers. They understand what Meri is feeling differently than Jen understands it. They are her new community.

[eleanorbarsic]

I loved the conversations meri had w her friends.the were so solid in their wishes and support for her.

[dyoungerman.]

22 years ago, my wedding photographer recommended we take our solo & couple photos before the wedding. She was a consummate professional. It removed a time crunch between wedding & reception, allowed us to use a more photogenic location, & allowed us to get awesome shots we wouldn't have been able to get on the day. My grandmother handmade my dress, and the photographer was able to spotlight it just beautifully! The photographer also set up the "see the bride for the first time" moment & caught everything on film perfectly. It didn't make the wedding day any less special.

The marriage ended, but I treasure those photos wearing the dress my grandmother made.

[nancyevans]

I’ve been married nearly 47 years. (In the salt lake temple, although I’m no longer a member of the LDS church.) I would say the secret sauce of a successful marriage is twofold:trust and mutual respect. And yes physical attraction. So three fold.

[pchyknrt]

I loved Meris 2 friends for the honest opinions and thoughts they gave to her. Meri needed someone to tell her the truth about it all from someone else that has been through it. Hopefully their truths will help Meri get through all this better. And for Meri to see she was being used and lied to the whole time.

[brandycarr]

When I was getting married to my husband (we have been married 20yrs!) my grandmother said marriage was like a three legged stool. You have trust, understanding and communication. If one is gone it is going to fall.

[karenz]

Personally, I believe that staying in a monogamous relationship is a combination of love and duty. But, it really all comes down to love. You may stay in a relationship because of duty. But, I think you feel that "duty" because you truly love them. As an example, I was married for 30+ years to a man who was 25 years my senior. And our relationship changed as he got older. I became his caregiver and I dutifully stayed and cared for him until he passed away. But, I did that duty because I loved him.

[RubyNeumann]

Been married 15 years, and from my perspective... it's both. I can't say it's all love or all commitment. There are times when the love isn't all that visible... then I need the reminder of the commitment. It's so easy in this day and age to jump the fence and look for something different, but I don't think that is an easier path. I don't know what's natural in life. There are some species that mate for life, and some that are just breeding connections. Not much humans do is natural anymore, so maybe we all get to extend grace to others who are just trying to do life the best way they know how.

[mackss]

I sort of think that the bridal may be a better experience. More intimate between just you and your spouse and you get to capture the moment perfectly.

[jewelgazer]

Christine’s polygamy wedding dress was so atrocious. I felt bad for her. I bet she hates that TLC shows it over and over again.

[mahadewiiii]

I laughed after Melissa did at Sam saying “Kicks & giggles” or whatever because of the conversation in the last one! 😅 In Australia I’ve only ever heard “Sh*ts and giggles” which is not something I’ve ever said myself but is a common phrase. So don’t worry Sam, maybe the FLDS had their own version too! 😅

[bx]

From PA - never heard of bridals.
Also I understand Robin's daughters wanting to join a church for community. I grew up in a church but don't currently attend. Finding a "community" away from home has been a challenge. That's one thing churches do well.