Psychologist Shows How to CHANGE the Way You THINK About LIFE | Benjamin Hardy

“Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!” - Victor Frankl

Often we think that living in the present moment means blocking out thoughts of the past and future.

But according to today’s guest, Dr. Benjamin Hardy, maintaining a clear vision of your future self is actually one of the most effective ways to live more fully in the present.

By defining yourself in terms of the person you want to be, rather than in terms of your past behavior, you can immediately create change in the attitudes and actions of your present self.

So whether you’re feeling stuck in your current situation, can’t let go of past mistakes, or have simply lost momentum toward your goals, this episode will give you plenty of practical tips to get back on track and become the best version of yourself.

SHOW NOTES:
00:00 | Introduction
01:13 | How to Pull Your Future Self Into the Present
11:02 | Why Success Is Hard to Repeat
16:43 | Getting Clarity on Big Goals
23:14 | Why Frame of Reference Is Critical
34:27 | Staying Optimistic Despite Challenges
47:20 | The 80/20 Rule in Goal Setting
54:24 | How to Avoid Deluding Yourself
1:01:28 | Practical Steps to Becoming Your Future Self

QUOTES:
“The more connected you get to the future self, the more able you are to actually appreciate this moment, the more you're able to see that what you do here and now matters. ” [02:02]

“I think that often we miss this moment because we don't connect it to the future. And what a lot of the researchers on meaning say is that this moment only has meaning because of what it means in the future.” [04:58]

“You don't have to commit to something for the rest of your life. But like, what do you want to commit to for the next three to five years? Like, what are you going to start really investing in?” [17:55]

“Journaling is just a way for you to actually structurally reframe anything that happened and then turn negative events into positive growth.” [22:26]

“I think it's a big aspect of emotional freedom and emotional maturity, is just realizing you're the only person who's comprehending your own experience, and so you get to define it however you want.” [42:45]

Follow Dr. Benjamin Hardy:

[TomBilyeu]

Whats your technique to quickly change your frame of reference?

[jordantoronto]

“Be true to your evolving self.” Love that so much. That’s very different than just “be true to yourself.” Thank you for that, Ben!

[burjkhalifa]

Never stop dreaming. Be hungry and never stop believing in your dreams. If someone can do it, then you too can do it. Be strong

[MarleneChism]

Benjamin is the King of bringing theories to practical use.

[edward]

Ben is AMAZING!!! His new book, “Gap and the Gain, ” changed my whole perspective on my business! I’m on his older book now, “Personality isn’t permanent.” 🥀

[andogonzalez]

This is everyhting. I am the most optimistic person of my family and friend group. Hands down. Everything good and bad that happens has a lesson to teach us. But... I never realized how negative I am about my day-to-day responsibilities. I always feel like I dont have time, and I will not accomplish enough. This makes me feel and think more constrained than I ever noticed. I think this video is finally gonna change me, and Im gonna dedicate time to my goala everyday even if the world burns (which it wont, but my past self seemed to think everything could crumble if I dont take care of everything)

[TeluguSuperhumans]

Very happy to see Benjamin here. His insights are very practical

[pushkarajnikale]

Tom Bilyeu...hands down to your legendary work and all incredible guests on Impact theory. You are touching many people lives by spreading such precious knowledge which not only enhances our standard of living but also it introduces us with self awareness which is one of the most essential aspect in this highly competitive world. Thank you.

[NPC--er]

Love you Tom. You are changing lives in a myriad of ways. I know because you continue to change mine. I don't have the time to detail what has happened to me and how you and the people you have on your show have helped me realize my goals but in 3 short years I went from living in an attic toting lumber to living on the water working for a global organization building things that make cloud computing and content like this possible. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I wish I could thank you in person but just know that you ARE doing what you set out to do. Please continue. We need you. Thanks again,

World famous Will Lyons

[marytolan]

Ben Hardy is brilliant & making such an impact on my life. Thank you for having him on your show Tom & love your guests.

[thechancellor-]

To the *incredible person* that's seeing this, I wish you all the best in life❤ don't over blame yourself, accept things and go forward. Don't let others define what “success” is for you. Get up, learn the skills needed and get after it, all the keys to a happy life is in your hands. Keep pushing.

[obiodigboh]

Thank you Tom & team. I need to listen to this another 3 times, at least…every exchange between Tom & Ben dropped gold bars of wisdom

[TheZGALa]

Thanks to you both for an inspiring conversation! At age 51 I still find myself struggling with many of the same thought patterns, so even though they are changeable, it is great to establish positive patterns, and the ability to recognize and let go of those that no longer serve our goals, early in life.

[rise]

I listen to Ben regularly and Tom regularly, and now we get them together! Love it.

[arzooaneja]

This is my favourite channel. I especially like it when you explain everything so nicely. I wish you a lot of success with the channel and happy life.

[pkpcmu]

I so much practice this - looking at the current from my future self and life all of a sudden sounds so easy!

[KiaOrion]

THIS ONE WAS A GAME CHANGER. i had to listen to this TWICE on the same day

[briannalinchner]

Thank you for this Tom and Ben I really needed to hear this, this help me a lot . Thank you for helping me and others around the world :)

[pgcpdc]

Wow congratulations to Ben Hardy for coming on Impact Theory. Have been following Ben s journey since he wrote impactful articles on Medium ! 👍👍

[KhushSoul]

Always enjoy listening and learning from Dr. Benjamin Hardy. I do have a quick question, Is frame of reference similar to the meaning you want to give the experiences in your life?