How To Heal Fight/Fawn Response

[ashleykathryn]

The problem I'm having is the freeze response, it's still taking me awhile to recognize that's what's happening because someone crossed my boundaries and not because it's something I'm doing. I tend to realize too late that what the other person did was not right. So I stay around abusive people longer than I need to because my my mind takes awhile to catch up. I always think it's a me problem first which leaves the door open to more abuse. Just trusting my gut right off the bat would solve this, I've been programmed to not trust my gut. My narcissist mom and ex husband brainwashed me into never trusting my gut so it's almost primal now

[CorePathway]

Make it a moral imperative. Brilliant. Just add buckets of love.

[Space_Princess]

My main ones are flight/fawn/freeze and I only use the fight response if all else fails and I need to fight back. Which is rare and only if I'm in a situation with no way out like I was when I was living with my narcissistic father, but I eventually gave up and went straight to freeze and fawn where I was physically exhausted and my body was literally shutting down from the stress (not an exaggeration). Thankfully, I got away and found a way to move out and create a support bubble around me while I'm healing from the 20+ years of hell.

[debbiekaren]

Please post more about the fight/fawn dynamic.

[izawaniek]

Yes, true. Boundaries and developing emotional literacy and creating new moral philosophy are vital not to merge with others. You stand your individual independent ground. Thank you.

[EyesEarsandBrainEngaged]

Thanks Richard....those words are timely heard for me...A reinforcement so to say.

[patrickong]

You can train your subconscious emotional reaction to remain calm in the face of any thought or memory. Try to understand what that means.

[myrnasharif]

thanks, Richard,
appreciate, your videos,
i let them go, no contact
and put a strong boundaries.
i'm really aware everything
i do, praying to God always.
thanks again, have a good
day. bless you.

[light.andshadow]

This all seems like a slog to rearrange furniture when your limbic brain is working against your executive function. I found much better results with jungian shadow work. Insight is ineffective for change for the vast majority of people. Even Richard has said that he is unable to shift his relationship patterns, even though he knows better. Tools to reprogram unconscious survival patterns in the emotional brain create big breakthroughs where the shift in pattern is almost effortless… embodied shifts in the emotional foundations of behavior. Go back and fix the unconscious emotional survival pattern and you don’t have to work nearly as hard to create real change in your perceived reality, including trauma responses.

[louisegarner]

Fall back to journal out our strengths, weaknesses, values, standards, non-negotiables, goals, gratitudes and any boundary breaches as they occur to note possible alternate strategies and tweak them where we could be and do better so we can spring forwards with more confidence in ourselves and be more flexible and resilient in bending to bounce off any outward pests, stress and threats through our consistent practise to become more efficacious in our dealings with ourselves and others. 🦌🤺 Sorry, no fawning today deer! 👁️📝🎯🗣️👥👣🏋️‍♀️🤸‍♀️👍

[ellen_]

So impressed! Beautiful! growing and expanding! 💝

[melissareece]

When you are a female facing a 6 foot five, 300+ pound narcissistic, somewhat psychopathic personality / Man. So obviously physically I do not measure up. How do you not get terrified? How do you have find a voice loud enough, soft enough, strong enough to be heard?

[Vixinaful]

A fat LOL for the surprised "How dare you slam, woman? This video is important!"

[callonthemidwife]

Thank you...this is so helpful Richard.

[jeanetteoneil]

What about if your grown child is a narcissist? Yes, boundaries are necessary.

[mariamotta]

Hello handsome, l love how u explain things so to the point n simple. Could hear u speak forever.

[pjsplace]

Don’t know where you are, but hopefully you’re doing okay. I will know better this discussion once I make acquisition to purchasing the book over the weekend and receive it.

[lucijavolcansek]

Ah yes ofc i can do that when i cant even speak cuz it hurts like hell and everytime i try noone listens.. Not to mention i got demons on my back the whole fuckin time suckin my energy cuz i dont even got a place to be alone

[evonne]

I feel like I lived in Fawn most my life!! I have been very Echo, sadly. Last time I had a chance to truly be myself I got into a relationship with a serious narcissist, it almost destroyed me. I have learned from him though and people get confused but I tell them I took away the good parts of being a narcissist. So partly I learned about myself, and partly I learned what I admired in him that I didnt have I then learned to adopt to be a stronger person and not be needy to another. If that makes sense. I have been in retreat a lot. Fall back time I guess, LOL Whatever it takes to move slow and be mindful of merging as I make new friends and move forward in life. I never want to lose myself again. Merging freaking sucks.

[sylviamichalke]

Yes! We alldaily need a good centered selfstructure. Selfcare first🫶