This is what the fawn response looks like.

Subscribe for more! Do you experienced the fawn response?

Our autonomic nervous system is really smart: it remembers patterns. If, in the past, disagreements, moments of conflict, or mismatches in needs led to danger, it will remember those cues and trigger a danger response now.

When our nervous system perceives danger, we shift into one of two states: fight/flight (the parasympathetic nervous system) or freeze (the dorsal vagal system).

In fight/flight, we feel agitated, hyper-active, hyper-vigilant, and restless. We may feel anxious, panicked, stressed, or angry. Our hearts race; our breath is shallow.

In freeze, we feel shut down. We’re totally depleted of energy; maybe even numb. It feels impossible to truly connect.

(Fawning is widely understood to be a mixture of both: external activation mixed with internal shutdown and dissociation.)

Many of us have had these responses many times without even being aware of them. Personally, before I set a hard boundary, I tend to go into fight/flight. I’m ruminating, anxious, and stressed, and my heart speeds like a racehorse.

Now, I understand⁠—and respect⁠—that when I feel this way, it’s because my nervous system believes I’m in danger. Once we recognize that we’re in an activated state, our task is to:

👉 First, acknowledge that part of us feels endangered, even if it’s not a part we’re consciously aware of.

👉 Second, recognize that this part of us kept us safe in the past.

👉 And third, take specific, tangible steps to cue our nervous system that we are actually safe⁠—steps that involve self-compassion practices, Polyvagal somatic exercises, and more.

These are the steps that actually reduce our feelings of fear and enable us to proceed in a grounded, confident, and calm way.

[Strawman]

This is like everyone in society right now. The vast majority of people I meet look tired, sad, afraid, and like their looking for a home.

[rebekahsteeper]

Thank you for raising awareness of this. Literally.

[charischristopher]

I am a therapist on my own healing journey. Thank you for this ''holding up of a mirror'

[LolaClo]

This is my response to the crazy levels of stress in my life right now after losing my husband to cancer.

[virgoearthangelgoddess]

This is my automatic response to fear, especially with men.

[mythamerica]

Thank you so much for posting this. I feel seen.

[ceanicify]

...stomachache, cold dark chest pains...

[thewafflecannon]

I've been working on recovering from a narsaststic relationship, and I didn't know how to explain my trauma response until now, thank you so much for this ❤

[mf]

Oh! So how I interact with the public at my job.

[bonnierardin]

Healthy anger instead of pent up anger that comes out like a dragon scorching everyone

[cultureal]

I saw a guy on the bus smiling ... and it didn't feel right, nor genuine. Made me feel uncomfortable.

[Tchacopp]

Been in that state since childhood, ' it unfortunately became so automatic that there's no ability to access anything of the mind and identity, you end UP being thé shell your mind has created...in order to ...protect you...but ultimately, i think it's a way of the ego to prevent you from being yourself

[jessIe]

Why does fawn response occur? Can it occur with very early childhood trauma?

[MelHale-jqzq]

U only get to leave this life with ur memories!! Do It Jesus way.. U Can Do It ❤

[stellawall]

Sorry for being stressed out lately and I’m annoyed and angry and frustrated with everything these days but it’s going to be okay regardless of what happened yesterday I’m just as important as everyone else is so stop shaming me for being upset with myself and my mind 😢❤❤❤

[lisakeplinger]

How do you understand the difference in yourself and in others? And MOST importantly how do you get it to stop.😊

[lastthingsministry]

Actually you can tell if you look close enough.. the hands are held rigidly in front of the body with the coffee cup as a prop/shield. The body is tense and rigid and the hand movements are literally batting the other person away.

[kenziii]

Sooo true 💯 its likes what i do and feel was described perfectly

[thunderstorm]

Yup .. it’s called the brave face . In reality you start taking lite breaths incase you get the wind knocked out of you and you’re in survival mode .

[moongoddess]

Thank you for describing this. Sadly it’s all too familiar! 😢