How to navigate loneliness, according to neuroscience | Kasley Killam

Challenging the loneliness stigma can change your life. Here’s how to start.

From a young age, many of us are taught that being alone means something is wrong, leading to negative thought patterns that reinforce feelings of isolation. Kasley Killam, author of The Art and Science of Connection and an expert in social health, explains how these perceptions of loneliness can shape our experiences and influence our lives.

According to Killam, this stigma around loneliness can trigger a stress response in the body, affecting both mental and physical well being. However, by challenging these narratives and reminding ourselves of how much control we really have, it’s possible to redirect our mindsets. It also helps, she says, to understand the difference between individualistic and collectivist cultures, and how each one can influence the way we interpret and discuss our feelings with others.

For those who have struggled with loneliness or felt trapped in a cycle of negative thinking, this perspective can help us break free. By shifting our thought patterns, we can transform our relationships, enhance our sense of connection, and improve our overall well-being.

We created this video in partnership with Unlikely Collaborators.

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About Kasley Killam:
Kasley Killam is a social health expert, author, and advocate focused on strengthening connections and enhancing community well-being. With a background in behavioral science and public health from Harvard University, she is a leading voice on the impact of social relationships on mental and physical health.

As the founder of Social Health Labs, Killam collaborates with organizations to develop innovative solutions for combating loneliness and social isolation. Her work has been featured in major publications, and she is a sought-after speaker on the importance of social well-being in creating healthier, more resilient communities.

[corumuk]

It's an enigma indeed that relationships can be empowering and loving, yet are also often the source of our most painful and traumatizing life experiences.

[dutchgirl]

The most lonely I’ve ever felt was while I was in a relationship. I learned then that my loneliness was not always about being ALONE.

[kmrzwci]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[sophiaisabelle]

I've been lonely since the creation of the universe. Finding meaningful connections is difficult, let alone maintaining and stabilizing them.

[aeconomopulos]

I am an introvert—I enjoy life when I spend time alone. On the other hand, when I am with people, I am like an old phone with battery issues; one moment it's at 90%, and after five minutes of use, it drops to 10%. That being said, people often confuse loneliness with introversion.

No, I don't have depression.
No, I don't want to kill myself.
No, I am not shy.
And certainly I am not lonely!

I am tired of people asking me these kind of things sometimes.. It's f****ng weird.. Stop it!

[GatorEE]

Does anyone else feel more lonely when around others, whether at work or in a relationship or at a gatherings?

[pinkeangst]

Please stop overlaying music on the spoken audio. It’s extremely distracting and makes it hard to focus on the speaker.

[hsutahsi]

what if I enjoy my solitude, but society keeps saying that being alone is bad, I feel toxic

[totalfreedom]

_In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you._ ―Attributed to Siddhartha Gautama (the Buddha)
*_1_* There is a big difference between _loneliness_ and _aloneness._ The self moves in loneliness; love moves in aloneness; when love is, the self is not.
*_2 Without love and sense of humor there is unhappiness and life is meaningless._* 💕☮🌎🌌

[alexteli]

Loneliness is a debilitating and spiralling mindset. I'm talking from experience. I found it hardest whilst in company with friends feeling all alone. My salvation came when I started putting my feelings on paper to make them real for me. I'm still lonely at times, but that's life. Writting everything down has given me the impetus to rise above and see the silver lining in my once darkened cloud. Thank you for your presentation. Alex.

[renznec]

"Connection to yourself is more important than connection to other

[gepettowins]

6:00 actually starts talking about solutions to loneliness. Spoiler: its meditation and helping others

[ToudaHell]

When you're alone for long enough, loneliness stops hurting. It just becomes normal. It used to hurt. Now i prefer to be alone. There are fewer expectations on me when I'm alone. I don't need to have conversations.

[LouisRichard-rimu]

*Your explanations are clear and straight forward It's always a honor to have you here as a mentor, I appreciate you for the time being spent to educate us financially. Regardless of how bad it gets the economy, I still makeover $28K every single week. I truly value Laura, and her helpful guides*

[NinjaRunningWild]

Amazingly she doesn't even mention the differences between introversion & extroversion which influence the dopamine pathway & how motivated it is for people to attempt (or need) to connect.

[ForAnAngel]

I've known since I was little: People are the source of all problems. I've been alone my whole life and I've never felt lonely.

[D-Pants]

These videos make me feel more inadequate

[JorgeLausell]

Thank you. I dropped out of social interactions to heal up. Struggling now to rebuild and reach out.

[judithholleran]

I remember feeling very lonely and left out when I attended my deceased husband’s family events. They were not particularly inviting. It took me a long time to discover it wasn’t me, it was them. My feelings of loneliness dissipated. I moved on and am so much stronger for it. Don’t waste your precious life on situations like this.

[eceyeffekt]

in the society that we‘re living ( espacially in the western world) it‘s designed to make us lonely. most of the people feel lonely at least in some kind of level. but most of the people also would not be open to new people. even when people come to them and introduce themself. It‘s hard to make relationships in anyway in places like this, where everybody thinks mostly about themself and the realationships are not really real.