How loneliness is killing us, according to a Harvard professor | Robert Waldinger

60% of people feel disconnected. Harvard professor Robert Waldinger addresses the science behind humanity’s loneliness epidemic and suggests ways to solve it.

Loneliness is quietly spreading across our society. Robert Waldinger, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, explores the roots of this growing epidemic.

He draws on research by experts like Julianne Holt-Lunstad, revealing the severe health impacts of loneliness, equating it to smoking half a pack of cigarettes daily. Stress, accelerated brain decline, and overall well-being suffer, but the remedy lies in our relationships—with friends, family, and even casual encounters.

Waldinger shares practical steps to combat loneliness, encouraging everyday connections with individuals like the person who delivers the mail or the cashier at the grocery store.

You belong. You matter. You're connected.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Go Deeper with Big Think:

►Become a Big Think Member

►Get Big Think+ for Business

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

About Robert Waldinger:

Dr. Robert Waldinger is Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, Director of the Center for Psychodynamic Therapy and Research at Massachusetts General Hospital, and Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development. He is a practicing psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, he teaches Harvard medical students and psychiatry residents, and he is on the faculty of the Boston Psychoanalytic Institute. He is also a Zen priest.

Dr. Waldinger earned his bachelor’s degree from Harvard College and his MD from Harvard Medical School.

[leatherface]

I’m definitely lonely. I’m 35, single. All I do is work, come home, eat, play the game, shower, sleep, wake up & do it all over again. 🤷🏾‍♂️

[janetownley]

What’s killing me is HEARING ABOUT THIS ALL THE TIME and not being able to do anything about it.

[Michael_black]

Loneliness is the feeling that you're not important to anyone you know.

[lalaslife]

46. Very alone. No family no friends. Just my two cats. I don’t know how to handle it. I’ve been trying to for years now and I’m about to snap…. I don’t think I’ve ever craved human attention so much in my entire life…. Really a hug. I just need a hug…

[CookieBear]

It feels like nobody my age wants to maintain friendships anymore, like it’s too much effort. I get that life is difficult and we’re all busy, but friendship is one of those things that makes life enjoyable. And it’s easier to get through those tough times when you have a close network of support through friends.

[shielasabaria]

*Kinda comforting to know there are a lot of people like me*

[TheEncouragementKid]

Man, when I was a cashier at a grocery store I would always try to engage into conversation with customers, some wouldn’t talk back, most would engage, some were on a first name basis, some offered me jobs, or wanted to hang out. Little did I know I might have been the closest to a friend or even conversation they had that week or month, or year 😢

I was doing it just to better my people skills but looking back on it, I’m so glad I might have helped someone too.

[JohnSmith-nmzd]

Sending love to everyone who is lonely!

[Naex__]

Feeling like people don't want to be with me is the most accurate way of saying it.

[zelilee]

Loneliness can also mean having too many of the wrong people in your life, and not finding people you connect deeply with. I felt like this growing up and late into adulthood coming from a refugee background. I find most people only look for others that are like themselves and who have many similarities. Of course I have conversations with other human but it doesn’t fill the void of having people around who truly understand you.

[magigooter]

In a world of insanity, loneliness is inevitable. This problem will get much worse.

[dmeyer]

There’s people I try to connect with but all they talk about is themselves. They never ask how are you or anything about my life. If I bring something up about myself it’s like a 2 second conversation and it’s right back to them. It gets exhausting so sometimes I just give up and go hang out with myself.

[ap]

Social media has given people an unrealistic vision of what our lives should look like. We want perfect everything, perfect car, perfect partner, perfect house, perfect job, perfect friendship circle, and if we don't have it we feel unfulfilled. We need to get off our screens and start living

[nGAhGENVHUl]

The problem is it's better to have no friends than bad friends.

[mesamis]

the older we get, the fewer friends we have.

[mollycblaeser]

I'm an introvert, but I still need human connection. It's getting harder & harder to make friends, whether it be lack of interaction or my anxiety telling me someone doesn't actually like my company.

[drewpac]

You know what does bug me: I moved to a new town after a relationship breakup. I would love to make new friends closer to my home. But I do try to interact with people, smile, say hi etc... And people are unresponsive most of the time. It is like everybody is lonely, but... kind of unwilling to change at the same time.

I do feel a lot of this has changed since Covid. It made people less connected and social I think.

[dj_bubbs-TXQ]

I feel lonely a lot of the time, I’m 35 years old, single. I work as a freelance stage technician and in my industry people are sometimes too afraid to be inclusive with me. I get up, exercise, go to work, come home, eat and then go to bed and repeat.

As a neurodiverse person I have a social communication difficulty but I do make an effort & try my best to engage with people.

I do feel if all social media disappears completely off the planet, I can guarantee people will spend more time with REAL friends & family.

[exxffru]

Im happy to be alone. People are more crazy and fake these days then ever. Social media and the pandemic really put the final nail in the coffin for me. I'm totally okay not being near others. People cause problems

[silentm]

We got lonelier when TV was adopted. Started watching it instead of playing cards with the neighbors. Then that got 10x worse with smartphones. Less screens, more people.