Stay single or start a family in your 40s?

As I stand here in my 40s, I can't help but think about the two completely different paths that seem to be laid out in front of me. On the one hand, there's the path of staying single, focused on my business, traveling, and loving the independence that comes with it. And on the other hand, there's the path of still having that focus on my business and independence, but also having a wonderful family and partner to create all of these things with. Both visions seem pretty amazing to me, and it's hard to know which one to choose.

[peterlund]

Every time I mentioned to a potential GF years ago that I have epilepsy, I was tossed under the buss. There is no sin in being a bachelor and just living your life. Today I am 61, if it’s joyful or painful, embrace it and grow.

[dplreviewreview]

Just finished a 19 year relationship can’t wait to enjoy spending the rest of my years being single, it feels amazing

[MyForeverPerson]

Well listen to this from a woman’s perspective, I’m 38 have spent years and years with working on myself, my mental health, my health, my appearance, spirituality, and everything possible to be a great partner. I met someone about 7 months ago and for the entirety of the dating relationship, he was hot and cold and mean and eventually he tossed me away.

Moral of the story, is that no matter how amazing you are, no matter how hard you try, if a relationship is not meant to be, it won’t ever be.

I’ve decided to finally let go and just live. Enjoy friendship in the moment and let go of wanting a relationship.

If it happens and I meet my forever person, then I will.

But having peace is seriously so much better than being in love and then in massive pain.

Also, men around my age are not picking women that are my age. They are picking much younger. Leaving my options even extremely smaller. Women never win at the end.

[SirenASMR_]

Find a partner who has your same life path, values and goals. Who works with you as a team. Other wise it’s not worth it . Being with the wrong person is horrible and a waste of time.

[jdub]

I’m 50. Never been married and have no children. I always loved the freedom and being a confirmed Bachelor 👍

[rhondacosta]

Same. I'm older than you but starting again. There's sooo much stigma around finding that "right" person! Why? Am I not enough? I'll find myself with the right person IF it happens to line up. Otherwise, I'm changing country, starting businesses and taking care of me. Cause I'm incredible and I'm so happy to learn more about me :) Most importantly, go your own way in this messy world. No one actually knows what they're doing right now. And everything we've been told isn't true. It's actually an interesting time to create + grow + make new choices. Good luck to you.

[brakmaster]

I'm 40, single, but I want children. Sometimes you need to be intentional in life. Thank you for your thoughts.

[waterbug]

I'm 66, American. Never had kids because of US divorce law. Single single about 1/2 my adult life. Been a hermit for 4 years. I plan to move to SE Asia next year. I won't be dismissing the option to marry and have kids. Why not? I retired at 45, so I've had my retired l experience. I have the resources to ensure a wife's lifetime and kids thru college whether I'm around or not. Being surrounded by kids would probably be interesting and fun for me. Never really wanted kids, but why not?

I came to this video after watching a 2 year old video on this channel where Justin "committed" to staying single and I left a comment about the red flag of "committing". Good to see you're starting to figure out the benefit to being open to new ideas.

If I do marry, have kids, I most likely will have separate quarters for myself. If my wife needs or wants help with housework, caring for kids, I have the resources to hire a live-in housekeeper and/or nanny. I know a lot of old expats say they don't want kids because of the work...me too, so I'll outsource that. I have no desire to change diapers.

Open your mind some more...there are not 2 paths. You can only see 2 paths because because those are the most travelled. Instead of paths I see myself standing on a flat rock in a calm lake. Around me are other flat rocks for as far as I can see. The rock I'm standing on is my current state. There are many rocks I could jump to from here. Some require bigger jumps than others, more risk of falling in the water. But getting a little wet is no big deal. I have no idea where I'm going, never have. That's the fun. But I also don't randomly jump from rock to rock either.

[BMACTX]

Thank you for this, man 🙌🏼... I'm 32 years old, and as man I have been feeling like I've failed in some way because I am single with no kids yet but in all honesty I love traveling and the independence that brings me. I tried to start a family in my early 20s with a girl I was head over hills for the relationship ended pretty rough... to get over the heartbreak, I decided to indulge in work throughout the year and travel at least twice a year. For the past 8-9 years, I have traveled to so many beautiful places and met some really awesome people when looking back. I don't regret the time I have spent seeing the world. I still think about starting a family one day after watching your vlog. I feel less guilty in a way and a bit less like I've failed in this aspect of life. Sorry for rambling. Thanks again for this. Cheers 🍻

[tseringdolma]

hello bro staying single is the best way in life. cultivating a close warmhearted feeling for others autimatically puts the mind at ease. it helps remove whatever fears ir insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. it is the principle source of success in life. since we are not solely material creatures. it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness. on extrenal development alone. the key is to develop inner peace.

[maureenkorir]

I am glad to have stumbled upon your channel. I am 37..and I love my Me-Time.

[Canadian_Eh_I]

Finding connection and relationship in today's world just seems fucking impossible. Been trying my whole life, and at 40 still havent managed to find someone anything like me to build a life with. I'm to the point where I've given up long ago and now it just seems bleak and sad tbh.

[baryl]

I love how you are fully aware and owning that you have growth to do in the area of intimacy and have a plan on how to grow in this area. Thank you for sharing ❤

[MrBoxofplastic]

42 and I have two teenage daughters. I can't imagine starting over. I never had the wild years. Focused on freedom now.

[dixieboy]

Nope. Im staying single. Its so much easier than dealing with
someone else's baggage.

[ralsharp]

I've only known you for 3 minutes and appreciating the smiles at this end. It's always a great day to hear somebody announcing that they really enjoy life and like their own space..
Good luck because you sound like you've been giving family life a bit more of a thought...
May I suggest a flight to Australia. To the city and surrounding towns that have a similar climate to your own🙌
Best of luck to you.. surf and have a bonza time. You appear both lovely and wise

[fenderson]

I will be 40 next month I'm currently single no kids never married and I just finished writing a book that should be out very soon

[masamangtao]

For me, I've never wanted kids. And although I do want love and emotional connection, I have no desire to live with a romantic partner, as it's always felt suffocating when I've done anything like it. So I think for me, single life is clearly the best. But I'll just have to keep figuring out the best ways to meet my social needs without that 1 consistent partner. There's still many different ways to have relationships, after all.

[Optimus]

Society cultural norms sometimes perceives of single men as losers. Even people who had relationships before and decided to take a break. Even that doesn't count. It's like you always have to be near a woman else you are a lesser human. It wouldn't hurt me if I had few relationships in the past so that I don't feel that I never tried it. I am one of the odd cases, 40, single but no relationships before. But even people like that need to not feel subhuman. There are more men like this than you think.

[richoneplanet]

Ditto - evolve as you wish. Don't eliminate the options for your happiness. 👍🏼