The secret habits that control your life | Wendy Wood

This interview is an episode from The Well, our new publication about ideas that inspire a life well-lived, created with the John Templeton Foundation.

Bad habits can be challenging to change due to friction — that is, the time and effort it takes to overcome them.

It is widely believed that through better self-control, our habits will change. But it doesn't work like that.

The only way to change a bad habit is through repetitive good behavior. Good behavior leads to better outcomes, which leads to our brain releasing dopamine. This "reward" is what helps us form good habits.

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About Wendy Wood:
Wendy Wood is a social psychologist whose research addresses the ways that habits guide behavior - and why they are so difficult to break - as well as evolutionary accounts of gender differences in behavior. Professor Wood has been Associate Editor of Psychological Review, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Personality and Social Psychology Review, and Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. She is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, the American Psychological Society, the Society for Experimental Social Psychology, and a founding member of the Society for Research Synthesis. Her research has been funded by the National Science Foundation, National Institute of Mental Health, and Rockefeller Foundation. Prior to joining USC, Professor Wood was James B. Duke Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience and Professor of Marketing at Duke University.

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Read more from The Well:
I put a camera on a monkey. Here’s how it shook my understanding of humanity
Atheism is not as rare or as rational as you think
System 1 vs. System 2 thinking: Why it isn’t strategic to always be rational

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About The Well
Do we inhabit a multiverse? Do we have free will? What is love? Is evolution directional? There are no simple answers to life’s biggest questions, and that’s why they’re the questions occupying the world’s brightest minds.

So what do they think?

How is the power of science advancing understanding? How are philosophers and theologians tackling these fascinating questions?

Let’s dive into The Well.

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[ActuallyJamesS]

Scientists now know that dopamine isn’t primarily released by rewards but by anticipation of reward, very important distinction.

[Quickeasyguitarlessons]

"When determining the size or complexity of a new habit ask yourself, "What can I stick to—even on my worst day?"
Start there. Master the art of showing up. Then advance."

[Quickeasyguitarlessons]

“Good habits make time your ally, bad habits make it your enemy” James Clear

[julielevesque]

A year and a half ago I trained my mind to take the stairs up to the 7th floor at work. I also told myself to take them down and up at lunch and one other break. Some days I take the staircase 4 times in a work day so 28 flights of stairs and some days just 3 times. I still take the stairs to this day and they changed my desk to the 2nd floor. My boss is on the 7th floor and I often have to pick up papers on the 7th floor so I told my boss...why would I quit a good habit? He totally agreed. I deal with generalized anxiety and do not take medication. I use food as medicine, exercise, journalling, reading self-help books and meditation. I now do the stairs at the metro station (subway) instead of the escalator and also walk on the platform instead of just waiting standing doing nothing. I added exercise in moments that were used in the past as being lazy. I am proud of my new habits and exercise does reduce stress. I lost 13 pounds without trying to lose weight...the habit was formed with the goal of reducing stress...that's it.

[thechancellor-]

To the *worthwhile person* seeing this, your dream is not dead. Don’t allow the past and current pains and hurts stop and define you. You’re more than a conqueror. Rise up and put yourself together. Keep pushing your future depends on it. I wish you all the best in life ❤️.

[benyaminewanganyahu]

Notes:
1. Friction is key - create friction against bad habits and force yourself into good ones.
2. All that matters is repetition in a given context. If you are consistent the new habit will form.
3. Habits control us more than we think, therefore it's better to focus on changing habits more than anything else. Frame your life in terms of habits if you want to change it.

[DiogenesNephew]

“We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking.”
-Richard Rohr

[Loyannelima]

The only thing that really worked for me was writing down affirmations like I was already doing what I wanted, repeating the affirmations outloud like I was telling someone. Now I wake up early and exercise everyday and I love it ❤️ I learned that with Bob Proctor 🙏🏼

[Stompiix]

What is not mentioned in the elevator experiment is that slowing down the elevator by 16secs encouraged discomfort in taking the elevator so that people can take the stairs.
So my take on this is; when trying to get rid of a bad habit, make it almost impossible for you to partake in such habit and very easy to partake in the good habit. For example, if you want to learn how to play the guitar then all you have to do is form a habit of practicing the guitar everyday and the only way to do this is by placing the guitar in the most common place in your house so that you can see the guitar everyday. This will increase your chances in learning how to play the guitar because it would be impossible to ignore the guitar everyday.

[eneafinch]

btw I recommend Wendy Wood's book, "Good Habits, Bad Habits" to everyone here. I finished it a few months ago and loved it.

[Amarmi]

Something I heard in another video about making habits, was to try to beat your worst enemy (or the worst version of yourself), imagine that you really want to start training early in the morning but you postpone it for any reason to a later time but the day is gone and you didn't go, so now imagine that your worst enemy (or your doppelganger 😄 or your evil twin) is competing with you on that same habit, are you going to let her/ him win and show to train 1st thing in the morning? While you keep postponing it and never go 🤷🏻‍♀️ well, I've been doing this for the last 11 days and even though it's been hard, I've been more productive 😃 to some people this may not be "a healthy mentality or a healthyway to approach it" but you gotta do what you gotta do to achieve your personal goals - as long as you don't affect negatively other people 🤷🏻‍♀️ or your evil twin 😄

[carolnorton]

Dr. Phil said "What are you going to do INSTEAD ?" when trying to stop a bad habit.
When I quit smoking I wore a rubber band on my wrist and snapped it every time i got the impulse to light up.
It wasn't immediate but i have been a nonsmoker for 30 years now.

[lifemakeovers]

Habits, Science, Dopamine all aside Wendy Wood you really have a fantastic sense of communication 👏 👌 👍

[shivangsingh]

I just can't express how much I want to thank you guys for making such marvelous videos on the topics that matter in today's world 🙏🏼♥️🧿👍🏼

[stephenharper]

If you need to accomplish more in a limited time, then building routines/habits are the key. I learned this as a boy in the sixties farming while my father worked running logging crews.

[qvyfpsk]

It was a rather bang and quite resounding message for me that saying " There is not way you can change that habit memory except through repetition of other behaviors ".

[eloise]

Notes pour moi même :
1. Reduite la friction pour prendre une bonne habitude/ augmenter la friction pour cesser les mauvaises.
2. Se récompenser quand on a fait son habitude
3. Préparer son environnement pour réduire les frictions, anticiper
4. Avoir des rituels, pour être plus confortables dans son environnement

[clinicnidoktj]

I really appreciate how the psychology of decision-making impacts our health. As a doctor, I find it so fascinating!

[invox]

I read somewhere that we need three months to break a habit.
But imo to find a better habit to do the same thing is way better and faster.

[surajpalsau]

this is what I've been searching for for the last 2 years, this is perfect video who want to control their habits