8 Tactics Narcissists Use To 'Train' You To Comply

Being emotionally needy, narcissists want you to satisfy their cravings for significance. But instead of discussing their needs constructively, they use manipulative tactics to force you into their mold. Dr. Les Carter helps you spot their tactics so you can sidestep their efforts to "train" you to tend to their neuroticism.

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who lives in Dallas, Tx. In the past 40 years he has conducted more than 60,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[honoryourself]

pay close attention to every time, you feel tempted to modify your behaviour in order not to offend a narcissist .
Don’t participate in your own conditioning.

[marktwainlover]

It's not a relationship. It's a set of interactions.

[garyedwards]

Easiest test to see if someone is a Narc:
* Say ‘no’ to one of their requests & see how they act....

[wisdomfromgeorge]

If you have to walk on eggshells in order to have a relationship.. you need to run.. who wants to live like that?

[jccolly]

They are exhausting in every sense of the term. Endless whining, complaining and neediness, while constantly tearing you down. Classic

[kimdeoliveira]

A behavior I struggled with for many years was that he did not care what I thought, felt, or needed. But then he would turn around and do "something" for me. Something I did not want or need, he would do this even when it was clear I did not want what that thing was. Then he would demand that I be grateful, or else he would hound me until I thanked him generously. Without fail, he would come back to me to reciprocate in the manner of his choosing.

If for whatever reason you don't leave the relationship then you are left with choosing to be numb a good deal of the time. I don't recommend it as a lifestyle.

[PaulTheSkeptic]

Thank goodness for the internet. Narcissists are far more effective when you don't know what narcissism is. I still remember watching that first video and having all this put into clinical terms that made sense. It's like the world finally began to make sense.

[SugarPie]

Gas lighting, flying monkeys, blaming, shaming, silent treatment, triangulation, love bombing and being hot and cold

[Markds]

I’m autistic (Aspergers) and a co-worker treats me like an easy mark so I cut off all communication that is not absolutely necessary to perform the job.

[steve]

‘...it’s not really a relationship’ - never a truer word spoken.

[travels]

What's sick is parents who do this to their children. Growing up this way is awful and yet in their mind "things weren't that bad"

[psalmsreader]

As soon as you question their psychopathic behaviour they loose their hearing, they go dumb and don't understand, they get a headache and make an excuse, they make it into something else or have a little tantrum but they will NEVER take you seriously or acknowledge your point. WALK AWAY.

[betsyhood]

The worst part is that once you have been conditioned by a narcissist parent, you send out 'signal's' to all the other narcs unless you work on yourself to change. It's no wonder you end up with narc bosses and partners later in life.

[g.marion]

As soon as you dispose of one narcissist in your life, there will be another showing up to take their place, stay strong and smart and always remember to observe others BEFORE engaging. Merry Christmas, everyone!

[TheRescueDog]

1) The Buddy Technique 2) Offering Intellectual Empathy 3) Now You Owe Me Tactic 4) Appeal to Both Loyalty and Guilt 5) Words of Incredulity 6) Ongoing Invalidation 7) Use of Threats (Silent treatment, Stonewalling, etc.) 8) Use of Anger and Criticism

[mountainmermaid]

I frequently heard "I enjoy helping you however I can" but if I requested help, it was always denied. Then I would hear "I've done so much to help you."

[starlingswallow]

Intellectual empathy: their ability to read your emotions state in order to use you or hurt you~ NOT to empathize with you 😡

[lisadunkle]

Because I’m such an empath, narcissists get to me by telling their stories about horrible childhoods and terrible and abusive ex’s. My empathy kicks in and I start giving in to everything. This is also based in how I grew up and the excuses my mom made for my dad. I’ve decided that from now on when someone tells me this stuff, I’m going to ask what they are doing to deal with these issues - therapy, groups, etc. If they say nothing or why should they because they are not the problem, I’m out.

[ceebee]

They pick you up, play with you and throw you down when it suits them because they are just overgrown toddlers. When you don't comply, they throw a tantrum/rage and you learn to say yes when you don't really want to.
You suppress your true emotions and resentment builds up over time, you become a different person and one day you snap.

[carltoncotter]

When an NPD says: "We TRUST each other!" It means: "I expect you to continue to treat me in a totally trustworthy and accommodating manner. And although in fact I quickly and profoundly betrayed your trust, I deny it and I will forever demand that you give your trust to me."