Remarrying Someone You Had Previously Married? - Ask Pastor Tim

If a man and woman get divorced, the woman gets saved, and neither of them has remarried, would it be ok if they got married again? Or, does the Lord even recognize their divorce to begin with? Are they fornicating if they are intimate with each other prior to being remarried?

[N_a_n_c_y]

My parents remarried each other. I believe it was an act of love. They were near their 60’s at the time.
Divorced because of adulterous affair on the part of dad. But, 17 yrs later and still in touch with each other on a daily bases remarried. I think love covers a multitude of sin. Mom forgave dad. Dad repented. God has to be in the relationship to start. They’re both gone but they loved each other well. Crazy but, true.

[joydarling]

The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.”

[Gabriel..]

Well this is a hard issue, I just thank God that He reconciled my wife to me, she is a jewel in my crown, I love that woman, and let me tell you she loves me! And yet it sometimes is the hardest thing I have to go through. Marriage is all about sacrifice and the two people becoming one. And the two people looking towards Christ to be closer to Him while becoming closer to each other.

[charmainecoombs]

The two has been joined as one flesh God sees them as one flesh and what God has joined together let no man put asunder. The one flesh union is never broken in God’s sight except by death.

[eileenfisher]

I forgave my husband for committing adultery many times knowing that he was addicted to drugs & sex. We had 7 children together & i was standing on the promises of God for his deliverance. But after being drug thru the mud so many times i let go of my faith temporarily & then i committed adultery too. I have repented but my husband has moved on now that he has been delivered from drugs and is attending church . He ays it is Biblically legal because i committed adultery. I have four words to say to that . Bob and Audrey Meissner. . .look them up. God wants families whole even if the unthinkable occurs. Mercy triumphs over judgement. God desires mercy to prevail in our hearts It has been over 10 years and we are now grandparents. My husband has been thru a few women since then-- always going to church and calling her his wife. Im convinced that God wants our family to be whole and our legacy to be mercy & reconciliation.

[ajlouviere]

The divorce and remarriage for adultery doctrine is based solely on the supposed guilt of the wife in Matthew 5:32, and Matthew 19:9. However, the wife in Matthew 5:31-32 is clearly not guilty of fornication because the Jews that Jesus was speaking to were still living under the law, and if fornication was discovered, there was a moral obligation to report the offender according to Deuteronomy 22:13-24. The wife, who would have been found guilty of fornication, was subsequently stoned to death, according to the law, which had still governed the Jews up until Christ's death on the cross. The same for a woman caught in adultery, according to Leviticus 20:10. How could a wife, guilty of fornication, or adultery, under the law of Moses, be given a writing of divorcement and be caused to commit adultery with whosoever marries her, that is divorced? Jesus is clear, in these examples, that the wife is not guilty of fornication, but is still caused to commit adultery if she marries another man now that she is divorced. This is the only way that Matthew 5:31-32, and Matthew 19:9 keep harmony with Romans 7:2-3, and 1 Corinthians 7:39. 

Unlike the synoptic gospels of Mark and Luke, which were written to evangelize the Gentiles, Matthew was written to the Jews, and has of 24 characteristics that identify it as intended for the house of Israel. 

The ancient Jews called the betrothed (engaged) "husband" and "wife" according to Deuteronomy 22:23-24, Matthew 1:18-25, and Luke 2:5-7. 

Deuteronomy 24:1-4 (Moses's precept of divorce and remarriage) was never for fornication or adultery. Allowing those guilty of fornication and adultery to remain living and become a prospect for remarriage was against the law of Moses in Deuteronomy 22:13-24 and Leviticus 20:10, which commanded that those who were found guilty of fornication and adultery be put away from Israel, and stoned to death. 

The law of Moses was not given to the world, only to the Jews. From the exodus, to Christ's death on the cross, the law of Moses governed the Jewish people. But when Jesus died on the cross, he caused the Jews to be dead to the law of Moses so they could be joined to Christ under a New Covenant. This is what Jesus's fulfillment of the law of Moses, including Deuteronomy 24:1-4 (Moses's precept of divorce and remarriage), means. Paul gave several warnings to Christian believers against keeping the law of Moses over following Christ and his commands under the New Covenant with Christ. Keeping the whole law is no longer possible for those in Israel and that is why Christ prophesied that the temple would be destroyed. These scriptures make it clear that if you choose the law over Christ, that you must keep the whole law: Romans 7:4, Galatians 3:1-9, Galatians 3:10-29, Galatians 4:1-7, Galatians 4:21-31, and Galatians 5:1-15.

Being unequally yoked to unbelievers is not a cause for divorce, once two become one-flesh in a covenant of marriage, according to 1 Corinthians 7:12-14. Many one-flesh covenant marriages between unbelievers are recognized by God in the scriptures, most notably the marriage covenants between Herodias and King Herod's brother Philip, Potiphar and his wife, Ahab and Jezebel, and Ruth to her deceased husband Mahlon by Boaz when he took her to be his wife. 

Some are teaching that 1 Corinthians 7:15 implies that those who are abandoned by the unbeliever, are "no longer bound" in a one-flesh covenant of marriage. The reason this is in conflict is due to the way they word it, which gives it an entirely different meaning, and context. 1 Corinthians 7:15, says, "15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace." As you can see, the actual scripture says "not under bondage, " which means that the husband or wife is not enslaved to sin with the unbelieving spouse, and is free to worship Christ in peace. Subsequent translations have changed the words to imply that they nullify the marriage covenant, when this is not at all the case. The issue that this creates is with 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, which says, "10And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife." As you can see, those who claim 1 Corinthians 7:15 has the Apostle Paul giving permission to remarry do not understand that the abandoned husband in 1 Corinthians 7:11 is expected to also remain unmarried, in order to be reconciled with his wife. The theory that 1 Corinthians 7:15 nullifies two as being one-flesh in marriage puts the Apostle Paul directly at odds with Christ, by implying that he has issued an opposing command.  

Some also teach that 1 Corinthians 7:27-28 is referring to both divorced men and virgin women, and not exclusively to men and women (virgins) who have never been married. This has been falsely taught for some time in churches as referring to anyone who is not currently in a marriage, which, for them, also includes those who are divorced. This is a very false assumption, and puts these verses in a different context, that is at odds with both the teachings of Christ and the apostle Paul. We see Paul refer to virgins, which signifies the unmarried who have never before been wed, which is the proper context here. We see Paul saying clearly that it is good for virgins, which is also speaking to never before wed men here, "that it is good for a man so to be." He goes on to say, "Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife." Who is he referring to here? Men who, like himself, have never married. The word "bound", in these verses, is a clear reference to betrothal (engagement) and not to a one-flesh covenant of marriage. The ancient Jews were considered bound as husband and wife during the betrothal (espousal/engagement) before becoming one-flesh in a covenant of marriage, through consummation. This is affirmed by the context of the term "bound" seen in Numbers 30:14-16.

The Jewish couples in ancient Israel, who were betrothed (engaged) were also bound together until death, either by execution for fornication, or by other causes. Then Paul says, "But and if thou marry, thou has not sinned", which is who? The men who had never married in the congregation at Corinth. So he begins with verses 25-26 speaking exclusively to men that have never married. Paul then says, "and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned", which is speaking directly in regard to virgin women who have never been married, within the congregation, not divorced women. Notice that verse 34 says, "There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband." Paul speaks plainly when he says "there is a difference between a wife and a virgin." Paul goes on to say, "But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry." This is speaking of a virgin who has become of age to bear children when it says, "let them marry." This is a clear command, to a single man, who has taken a virgin to be his wife. Paul then says, "Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well." This is referring again to the single man who decides it is better not to marry, but to stay betrothed (engaged), under the present distress, by saying that he "hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin." Paul then says, "So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better", which again means single men, in the congregation, who have betrothed a wife, do well if they marry, and those who choose not to marry their virgin brides do better, under the current climate. For more proper context of the word "bound", let's look further down in this chapter to verse 39, which says, "39The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:39). For so long, these scriptures, between verses 25-38, have been twisted and used to enable divorce and remarriage, by wayward churches and teachers, and have caused many to stumble and to be trapped in unscriptural unions.

The use of the woman at the well, in regard to marriage, falsely implies that Christ was endorsing remarriage after a divorce. This teaching is in defiance of Matthew 22:23-28, which shows a woman who had been widowed seven times, and entered into each subsequent marriage without any scriptural conflicts with God's law of marriage (one-flesh covenant) seen in Genesis 2:23-24.

Mark 10:1-12 and Matthew 19:1-12 both record Christ's teaching that day beyond the Jordan. There is no mention of the words "fornication", "writing of divorcement", or "divorced" in Mark's Gospel, because Mark was not written to the Jews (as Matthew's Gospel was), but to evangelize the Romans and Greeks, who had no knowledge of the law of Moses in Deuteronomy 22 or Deuteronomy 24. All of these facts draw a clear understanding that remarriage after a divorce, under the New Covenant with Christ, is a scripturally false and baseless teaching. Please use wisdom when living in any situation against what the scriptures command.

[P.H.]

We are supposed to have intimacy with God, He leads The way! We follow, We should only do what He says, we will answer for our own lives down here.
Marriage is a massive undertaking and responsibility and should never be taken lightly.
Born Again Christians should only marry when both are convinced that it’s God’s Will for them both!
This like many other posts these days only go to show how flippant lots of people are with their lives.
Instant gratification.
Lord give us More Of The Fruit Of Your Holy Spirit! 🙏🏼 Amen 🙏🏼

[womanatwellworshiptheFather]

God ALWAYS calls you to remarry your first spouse. He called adulterous Israel back and had Hosea model this to Israel with Gomer. Is it sin to lay with your husband even after a divorce, in mans eyes they are unmarried but in God's eyes ALWAYS married. Considering Isaac merely took his wife into a tent and slept with her and scripture says they are married. However, we want to avoid the appearance of evil to those weaker in the faith so the best thing is to remarry in the world, this will strengthen your bonds.

[stefanydower]

I personally think only God can give her the answer. No discussion here can. If God has called her to remarry her spouse(and praise God). I would encourage you to pray for her and him in making this decision. God hates divorce and God is the God of reconcilliation.

[philipbuckley]

if God never validated the divorce....then they are still married....

[philipbuckley]

this should give some direction....1 Cor 7.10-11 10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

[rufusnganga]

Wise pastoral counsel Pst Tim, God bless you. In such cases the brother and sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 1cor7:15, Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1pet4:7, ..give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Rom12:17b-18

[philipbuckley]

Deut is out....because Jesus change the game....by saying....but I say, unto you...

[zig]

This was beautiful, this story is similar to mine. This video touched my heart made me cry. I loved it thank you.

[ninagarcia]

Get married again!! Seriously this is the easiest question ever. You got divorced according to mans law. Ask for forgiveness and repentance for the divorce. Take it to god pray on it and get the union blessed again by our father!! Simple as that! Praise the lord he reconciled them. Divorced or not - your spouse is your spouse until death do you part or you reconcile. Fast and pray!! He will let you know.

[keynat]

Do you believe divorce is accepted if there is Domestic violence?

[scottbachmann]

Is there a difference between civil marriage and holy matrimony? One is a legal contract with the state, the other is a covenant commitment before God. The Bible refers to Eve as Adam's WIFE, for example. Where did they go to get their government-issued marriage license?

[nealdoster]

Grace to you pastor Tim
After several decades of coming to an understanding of the different views on this issue, it really does boil down to the premise a specific view is starting from. You referenced this early in this video but it's an important distinction in how Christians start with their perception of divorce, particularly when interpreting Jesus' teaching on this matter.

For instance, if divorce is the premature termination of marriage, Christians will understand Jesus' teaching different than those who perceive divorce as still married "in God's eyes". Those are opposite meanings for interpreting divorce. In one view divorce is effective in the other it's ineffective. Thus divorce, particularly within Jesus' teaching on the matter is perceived from opposite realities.

Therefore Christians opinion and ensuing counsel about the ensuing adultery (Jesus spoke of) will be derive from one or the other perceptions of reality.
From one view you have adultery ensuing from a terminated marriage (option 1).
From the other you have adultery ensuing from a marriage that divorce fail to end (option 2).
So why the opposite perceptions of divorce?

A lot of Christians believe option 2 because they presume that option 1 can't be true. The reason Christians presume option 1 can't be true is simply because they start from the belief that adultery only occurs as "unfaithfulness while married". Because option 1 doesn't fit that definition their mind defaults to the belief that the divorce must somehow be illegitimate. If it was legitimate according to this line of reasoning, adultery wouldn't result. Thus the circular reasoning of the NO divorce, No Remarriage (NDNR) camp. This position produces the most strict and far reaching consequences for those divorced and/or remarried. Why?

Because their counsel to them is based in the opposite reality of divorce and remarriage being effective. In the NDNR camp (also referred to as Permanence view) the individuals are told and made to believe that they aren't actually married to their present spouse "in God's eyes" and not actually divorce from the former spouse "in God's eyes".
If this is true then their counsel for those "supposedly" remarried, to divorce their present spouse and return to their first spouse is correct. Christians should be able to determine that if divorce and remarriage is ineffective, then the most extreme position on this issue is interpreting Jesus correctly.

Conversely if option 1 is correct then the Permanence view has greatly exaggerated Jesus' teaching by inverting "divorce" and "marries another", causing sin instead of remedying it. If divorce and remarriage are effective events in God's Word then we actually have one spouse supplanting another. We actually have individuals married and obligated to their present spouse and not their former.
We can certainly argue if divorce or remarriage should have occurred within various situations, but not that they didn't occur. We then have an interpretation of Jesus and the writings of Moses (to which He referred) understood congruous, not in conflict as the Permanence view paradigm concludes.

In closing I should note that not all Permanence Pastors are as extreme as others, but Christians could clear up a lot of the confusion created by the Permanence view by realizing that Jesus didn't claim marriages can't end before death. He merely revealed what would transpire if it did. Blessings

[DelaineBlackstone]

1. She didn't mention 'why' they divorced.
2. Given the timing, she recently gave her life to the LORD, so could this be God bringing reconciliation, or Satan bringing a stumblingblock?

[n.snoozzz]

We married. He committed sexual immorality 2 years in. I stayed for 5 more years completely loyal. I couldn't forgive & divorced. I met someone new & dated for 9 months. After 1 year total of being divorced we have reconciled.

But I'm unsure how to make it last & submit to God's will. I come from a poor single mother household & so does he but we have chosen conservatism of our own free will. However, we are imperfect. We want that 60yr+ type of marriage. Raise healthy kids & have a beautiful family. Completely undue all the generational curses of our families. Need help