Should Widows Remarry?

[terrymcclintock]

When my mother died, she was50 yes old, my Father, 60 years old. For the next years I was encouraging my Father to “ see” other women. To possibly remarry.
His answer to me,
“ When you have 1 good woman in your life, you can’t replace her, and you don’t need anyone else”
My heart broke, for a few of us have walked in and heard him “ crying “ over “ missing my mother, and saying how much he loved her and missed her.
You don’t see That kind of live often. He lived to 87

[Magami]

It depends. You have to see the circumstances too.
My uncle's wife of 30 years die from cancer. He later married 6 months after she died. To his daughter's best friend.
He was 55, she was 26 at the time of wedding.
His daughter doesn't speak to him now.
His son was LC, because that girl was his ex first. Ex-fiancee too, but they broke up because the daughter hated their relationship. She said she's too good for her brother (but turns out good enough for her father).
The reason my uncle marry her?
He wants someone to make coffee and breakfast for him. He can't live alone.
Now he has 2 kids, all kids are younger than his daughter and son's children.

Yeah, it was a messy family drama.

[Fleurbunny]

Lisa Swayze worded it perfectly when she got married after Patrick died. She said “you don’t ever fall out of love with the person you’ve lost, but you still have a lot of love to give”. No one should be forced to live a lonely life after losing a spouse. That tragedy is enough, don’t make it worse by enforcing a life of loneliness on that person too.

[tammyeaton]

My uncle died in June 2019 after a long battle of health problems including Parkinson’s disease related to his service in Vietnam. My aunt remarried a man she knew in the church, who was a widower. They both get along great, and they can relate to each other’s struggles of caring for ailing spouses.

[Psylliumhead]

I’ve been married 42 years, if she goes first I don’t think I’d want to get married again. No one could replace her.

[colleenschechtel]

When my mother died, I was 14. I was blessed to experience the love my parents had for each other, and he did remarry within two years. A dear friend of the family said to me for your father to remarry shows that his first marriage to your mother was so good he wanted to share that experience again. I understood that, even at that young age, because when he was with my stepmom it was the first time I had heard him laugh since my mom died, and I was happy for him. God blessed him with two good marriages and I am thankful for that.

[laattardo]

The only reason I got upset with my dads second marriage was because he was having an internet affair with the punt while my mother was dying and moved literally to the other coast and married her with in 3 months of my mothers passing. It wasnt about keeping him from another relationship, it was about his absolute disrespect he showed to my mother. I havent spoken to him in years.

[cadirector]

I am currently in this situation. My wife of 30 years passed away in January of 2021. I waited a whole year before I did anything other than go to work and tend to the regular household duties because I didn't want to upset my 2 daughters. Afte a year, I started doing things socially and eventually joined a dating site and started dating. One of my daughters understands that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life alone, but the other one can't handle the fact that I have done my grieving and now it's time to move onto the next chapter of my life.

[brendablaser]

When my mother died at 50 years old, us kids wanted my dad to find someone and enjoy life. He cared for my mom for 5 years while she fought cancer and he deserved some happiness.

What was sad was the woman he chose so quickly to remarry, ended up not being the woman he thought she was. She is narcissistic, selfish, manipulative, and enjoyed pitting people against each other within the family.

My father passed away in 2006, but about 8 years before that, I saw him struggling and asked him if he had to do it all over again would he have done it the same. His answer was no.

I don’t think wanting the best person for your parent is a selfish desire. You just want to know they are happy, have peace, and that the person has your parent’s best interest at heart.

[SR-kzun]

I don't trust anyone that marries a year after their spouse dies, there's something sick and disgusting about that to me.

[sparklemotion]

When your parent marries a few months after their partner dies, it's logical to give you pause.

[theresaasian]

I get that a person should get married again if they want to, but to marry within a year of the passing is too soon, especially if you just met the person.

[Odinstoast]

The grieving process can take many years to subside, and it’s pretty concerning when someone gets remarried that quick.

[DennisAroundtheHouse]

This situation was difficult for me, not because my father remarried, but because after 50 years of marriage he virtually erased my mother from his life. Going to their home now there is no sign that she even existed.

[ktsmttt]

My granddaddy got remarried after my grandmama passes away. I adore his wife and respect her. She may not be my grandmother (and she's never tried to replace her) but I'm thankful for their companionship. I believe it increases their life span and quality of life.

[loro]

My mom was a widow for 5 years, then married a life long friend who's wife had died a year back. It was a wonderful blessing because they had each other to look after. Some of the grands struggled but they had 12 good years together. I recommend it.

[firstlady]

Three people I know had this happen. Mum died and dad remarried literally within months. Not a single one of them re-did their Wills and all the children of the first marriage were disinherited. This is awful. I am sure their mother would have wanted them to have something from the first marriage that she contributed to if not their father!

[marymarymillidweeb]

I experienced this, my dad didn't actually marry the lady just lived with her for a couple of years and then it was over. In that time I learned that the widowed party is lonely. They've lived with someone for 30 or 40 years, someone has always said hello when they would come home after work etc. The death of their spouse was a huge shift - almost overwhelming and it's easier to bear if they're not alone with it.

[WhereIsTheLogic]

My mom died and my dad remaried. He saw her through a long struggle and was and will be a devoted husband because that is the man he is.
In no way would I ever want him to be alone. He needs and deserves to be loved and cared for as much as he loves and cares for others.
Kids who love the dead parent so much that they punish the live one to a life of loneliness are indeed evil.

[ChristopherM]

5 years ago, my wife passed away 1 month after my 48th birthday & it was devastating. I started doing coffee dates about 10 months later because I took a job in a new part of the country 6 months prior to my wife’s passing. We lived there together for only 4 months when she passed. It was incredibly difficult. When my adult child (living back in our home state found out, I got such disrespect and anger from her. It’s better now & the lady I’m dating now, my child really likes my new partner & asks, “so when are you going to get married?” I still love and think roundly of my late wife of 25yrs, but live is for the living.