Infantilization: These 7 Signs Show that You're an Adult Being Treated like A Child

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Infantilization is when an adult is being treated like a child, even though nothing about their mental, physical, social, or intellectual wellbeing requires such treatment. It can often happen with highly controlling parents, or a narcissistic parent who continues to believe that they are superior in knowledge, intellect and ability than their fully functioning, adult child/children. Without knowing it, these adult children can also be participating in this unhelpful dynamic by not adequately self-differentiating in their adult life. This dynamic is also a sign of a codependent/narcissistic dynamic in a relationship where each person is playing out their respective role.

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[juliakristinamah]

Hi you all! What did you find helpful about this talk? I'd love to hear.

[HumanStyleBeing]

What I hate is when people act like you can just leave the family, move out, move in to your own place, and live your own life in happiness and serenity...like it's just that easy when one has narcissistic parents that are hellbent on infantilizing their children and legit believe there's NOTHING wrong with it!

[rebel.grace_]

My mother did this to such a degree that I don’t think I will ever feel like an adult. She was also verbally abusive and narcissistic. The undermining, gaslighting, massive and constant guilt trips is all I got from my mother. I still get super intimidated by people my age and any slight trigger of infantilization makes me feel like shrinking or fighting. I’m almost 40. It doesn’t help that I look much younger than I am. Plenty of people don’t seem to realize that I’m an educated adult. It’s like imposter syndrome X1000.

[DaughterofZyion]

Telling you off in front of people, telling you how to speak, telling you how to feel

[bhagyavathi]

But when it reoccurs a lot you begin doubting yourself. You wonder if they're treating you like that because you are indeed acting like a child and deserve such treatment naturally. A real blow to the esteem.

[shanan]

My family did this to me for decades. Separate from these people.

[noxvenit]

I have seen people who infantilize their partners but parentify their grown children.

[GotGhost]

Someone who treats you like a child hurts your self esteem. My ex mother in law treated me like a child and belittled me. My husband was on her side. That hurt me really bad

[damix_animated]

genuinely struggling with my mental health to the point where i am depressed because people just refuse to treat me like im human. im not a baby, im not a dog, im not a child. im just tired of fighting to be seen as a person.

[la]

My narcissistic mother constantly tries to infantilize and control me to the point where she will literally try to tell me how to stand, how to breath, how to walk, etc and if I ignore her she throws a tantrum and calls ME immature which is laughable. She uses the "But I am your mother" excuse as if that means she is allowed to have complete control over another adult. She gets threatened and jealous whenever she sees me being independent and separate from her. That's when she will start criticizing me to control me. I am ready to go no contact with her. I am grateful I was always rebellious and I never listened to her even as a child. I sure as hell am not going to start now as an adult 😂

[Ирина-нфщ]

Thank you for this content. My mother has been infantalizing me for ages. I recently realized that she's a covert narcissist and has been sbotaging my succes, independence and my sence of self. I really need to develop self-trust and get in control of things in my life. Thank you once again!

[Coastpsych_fi]

It’s so hard if someone has ADHD / executive functioning issues or poor mental health you can fall into these horrible parent/child dynamics with an adult. It’s a challenge between helping or harming someone.

[tammywebb]

I've never been infantilized, but I saw an episode of "Three's Company" in which Jack Tripper befriended an old lady that became his new neighbor. She started treating him like he was her own son, giving him cookies and milk, and she even selfishly ruined his date with another girl just to spend time with him. Jack confronted her about it, but turned out she was just lonely and missing her son. I understand some parents love their children, but if you want to earn your children's love, infantilizing them is definitely NOT the way to do it

[MrJacobwieland]

Parents who infantilize their own children make them feel they are weak, irresponsible, and selfish. I often have this issue with my parents because I am autistic and they are very paranoid, enmeshing narcissists. Whenever I announce that I want to do something, they constantly criticize my choices. After I do something that requires notice, they only give me advice. Whenever I make a big purchase, they jump to conclusions that I am financially irresponsible. They also seem to dismiss feelings whenever I get upset, and sometimes even swear at me. This video really helped understand the signs. Due to inflation, I have to deal with this for longer.

[antonboludo]

If your friends are belittling you, then they are NOT your friends.

[Hilary.Martin]

I’m a type 1 diabetic and my mother was always upset with me every time I announced I was pregnant. She would either be passive aggressive in her comments or give me the silent treatment for awhile. When confronted, her excuse was “I’m just worried about you”, which is fine to say but there are positive and negative ways to show concern for someone. After I entered adulthood, she was never involved in my medical care, but still seemed to think she knew what was best for me. It didn’t matter to her that I under the care of a healthcare team or that I took a very active role in my own health and too good care of myself.

[karenwalsh]

My sister is four years older than me as well. She has always treated me like a child and we are now in our 70's! I have tried to talk to her about my feelings and she tells me I am playing a 'victim". I told her she was blaming the victim. Anyway it's very annoying and I don't think she has the right to continue to treat me that way. Your talk has helped and I want to thank-you for talking about this subject.

[sarahcouture]

THIS! This is what my parents have always done with me. Ive always wondered why I feel younger than I am and lack confidence in doing things. This is why I'm full of self doubt! Epiphany! Omg 😳 I already knew my parents are controlling and judgemental, narcissistic
Even... But yeah, they infantilizationize me all the time dude 😢 yuck 🤢

[stevecatanio]

Julia some problems in families can't be repaired. Even with your kind words.

[lesliengo]

You are teaching us things we never knew! This really resonates with my parents and that explains how my parents acted surprised about my accomplishments, even small ones. I have more clarity now and I am proudly working on building self trust.