When people tell you that your standards are too high, because you have boundaries

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[timothygenaw]

I made a commitment to stay single for at least a few years to understand what went wrong. Now I won't trade it. I save lots of money, hop on planes, hike national parks, and don't have any conflicts. But there's a price to freedom; it's called loneliness. Pick your poisons in life. Better lonely than in bad company.

[pri.sci.lla.]

The people who have problems with your boundaries benefitted from you having none at all

[gingerisevil]

EVERY woman who has judged me for being single, I later discovered that her boyfriend honestly treated her like shit and she wasn't happy, but got fulfillment out of treating other women like shit, I think the "wants everyone to be as miserable as them" is 100% spot on.

[alsam]

As soon as I became single after divorcing my unfaithful mate, friends wanted to introduce me to a man they knew who was single because his wife had divorced him for unfaithfulness. Why would I want someone else’s unfaithful mate when I just divorced my own? Yeah. My standards are higher now.

[gigibtsurvivor]

If I feel confused about a situation, I inquire. If I don’t receive clarity and consistency, I move on.

[thesimoneshow]

People complain that your “standards are too high” because they’re afraid you’ll find somebody who meets them, when they’ve chosen to stay with someone they’re not happy with under the guise that “all men/women…” and “no relationship is perfect”

You hit the nail on the head with this one!

[heyla]

Now that I have and enforce boundaries, I've had many people say just that: you are too critical and you expect too much.
expect too much?
I have boundaries that I stick to. There are NO more second chances for anyone who crosses or attempts to cross my boundaries.
Don't settle

[RotationAxle]

Oooh, I've had a so-called friend tell that to me..."You need to lower your standards." It's so demeaning and disrespectful. You hit the nail on the head - it has the undertones of, "You ain't all that, sweetheart. Take what you can get." This "friend" is someone I have had to enforce boundaries with because I don't want to sleep with him. Needless to say, I don't go out of my way to spend time with him anymore. Who needs a voice like that in their lives?

[hosepkrikorian]

To ensure that everyone is equally unhappy 😆😆😆 reminded me Bertrand Russell's witty saying "Contempt for happiness is usually contempt for other people's happiness, and is an elegant disguise for hatred of the human race."

[brightbite]

A narcissist in my life would regularly shout at me: "You have too many rules!!" All I asked for was basic privacy to be respected, such as not barging into a room with a closed door.

[lilylady]

I finally am getting my standards high enough to be with kinder, caring, more emotionally healthier people. And I plan to keep working on this.

[SirFrancescoGalli]

This really hits home, Dr. Ramani. Friends and family keep telling me that if I don’t reconsider my rigidity, I’ll forever be alone. Every time I reply: alright, then I’ll be alone forever.

[candy]

This is exactly why I keep my love life private and don’t share anything with people because EVERYONE has an opinion. I’m finally in a healthy relationship after years of suffering and I don’t discuss the in’s and out’s of what happens in my relationship nor do I “vent” with friends because people are going to interject/project their own situations onto me. If I need to talk about something serious I share that with my significant other and no one else. I used to lower my standards so much in my 20’s and listen to people’s awful “advice” and I would end up with the worst guys and deal with their BS longer than I needed to be. Now, I’m in my 30’s, more mature and I don’t need advice from friends/family unless I’m talking to a therapist. That’s MY boundary 💥

[ankicazander]

I've been told to "get off my high horse" or to "get over myself", lol when I didn't like it how other people treated me

[Freespiritedqueen]

My parents, siblings, and exes have done the "undercutting"😤. Been there and WILL NOT TOLERATE ever again!

[MoonLight-gmzm]

"You deserve to be valued and cherished and seen" ❤️💛❤️💛❤️

[danikeebler]

The person that tried me convinced my standards were too high was my malignant narc mom. She expected me to have NO standards for everyone to 💩 on me.

[nonavandre]

Honestly not to be treated poorly and have someone love and care about you I don’t think is a lot to ask for especially in a romantic relationship.

[JC-buvl]

Narcissists test your boundaries very early on whether it is convincing you to take that extra bite of food when you told them 5 times that you are full or convincing you to spend time with them because they had a bad day even though you told them a week ago that you already had plans with your friends. If you give in, it only gets worst.

[SamSolasdonSaol]

No one in our family cult has the spine to say that directly to anyone, but they certainly don't have a problem saying it behind someone's back... mostly mine because I'm a truth teller. So glad I finally jumped ship.