Table Manners - Ultimate How-To Guide To Proper Dining Etiquette For Adults & Children

Most people will have a few select occasions – weddings, galas, major anniversaries – in which to participate in formal dining. Formal dining is its own special occasion with very particular rules and conventions. Fortunately, we explain everything that you need to know about formal dining in our dedicated guide.

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Gentleman's Gazette

00:00 Introduction
00:23 It is About Showing Respect
Table manners are something your parents taught you but are far more important as an adult. First of all, your table manners speak volumes about your refinement and it's often interpreted as a sign of character. It's not at all about being snobby or showing off but much rather showing respect — your host and your dining partners will greatly appreciate your manners.
It's very important to keep in mind, proper table manners always help you and never hurt you. The good thing is they can be learned and it's never too late to do so.

So what are table manners?

02:31 Silence Your Cell Phone & Keep Away
I suggest turning off your cell phone ringer when you enter someone else's home and put your phone in your pocket when you're with the guests. Don't leave your phone on the table because you are much more likely to pick it up and look at it which is impolite In the presence of other people.

02:46 Wait to Be Seated
If the table is all set, don't just walk in and sit down. Wait to be seated or wait for the cue of the host, or when they sit, you can sit as well.

02:56 Sit Up Straight, Don't Slouch
Sit up straight and comfortably — don't slouch, or cross your arms, or sit as you would on your couch while watching a football game.

03:07 Be Ready to Mingle
Don't expect to sit next to your partner and follow the lead of the hosts. Traditionally, couples were always mixed up to sit with different people.

03:23 Place the Napkin in Your Lap
If there's a napkin on the plate or next to a plate, put it on your lap right away. If the host or hostess wants to say grace, accept the gesture for what it is, and move along.

03:39 Examine the Place Setting
Two, let's take a look at the place setting. In the Western world, an informal place will always have at least a plate, a knife, and a fork. If dessert will be served, you'll find either a little fork or a spoon on the top side of the plate. If soup is served or anything else that requires a spoon, you will also have a spoon. On the top right of the plate, you'll likely find a water glass which is always filled and a wine glass which is empty, to begin with. Sometimes you also find beer glasses; if you prefer that, if that's what's served with a meal. If you see little plate with an extra knife on a top left to your plate, that's for bread and butter. When you're done with the course, you place the fork and a knife at a four to five o'clock angle that means you're done.

05:26 How to Plate Your Food
Three, now it's time to serve the food. Most informal dinners are family-style meaning there are bowls or platters where food is served from. For formal dinners, courses are usually plated but we talk about the intricacies of that in our formal dining etiquette video here.

With bowls and anything at the table, the cardinal rule is, don't reach over anybody else and don't touch them. To start, pass the bowl around the table from the left to the right when you get the bowl you hold it and you serve yourself then you pass it on to your neighbor on the right. Always use the serving utensils and never your silverware that's on your place setting. Of course, if the host or hostess has a different idea, go with what they do.

06:57 How to Eat Properly
Four, finally it's time to eat. You should only start eating when everyone else has been served and a host or hostess starts to take their fork and take the lead. It is very impolite and sometimes even rude to just dig into your plate of food while the others are still empty-handed.

16:46 Outfit Rundown

[tommynoble]

The "Don'ts" in this video are hilarious. Your "unrefined face" is incredible.

[melodii]

This is the 3am content I was looking for.

[jasoninnes]

If you happen to have allergies but did not give the host sufficient time. Then make sure you bring your epinephrine with you, as it is impolite to die on the table.

[caseywakefield]

I came from the ghetto and I'm really trying to change. This is competily opposite of how i was raised but i love it so much thank you for helping me you guys are amazing

[AstroToad]

The salt and pepper tip is so good! As a cook myself, I hate when people salt the food before they try it.

[MaxWheelblazer]

My mother telling me these things drove me crazy as a kid. Now here I am paying close attention as an adult. Thanks mom for putting up with me.

[BLTspace]

I grew up in a working class family and when having holiday dinners at my grandparents we always had multiple courses with stacked plates, many utensils, napkin etc. I learned where the napkin went and general good table manners at a young age and I appreciate it more now as i've gotten older. This isn't a luxurious or wealthy class thing at all, we were not wealthy. This is plain and simple good table manners.

[domepiece]

At my elementary school, in 4th grade we did a “Manner’s Luncheon.” We spent time learning table manners before hand. Then one day, we had a “fancy” lunch in the cafeteria. We dressed up and boys sat the girls down, etc. It was really fun and informative. I learned more about manner’s from West Point and the military, where it is expected that a military officer acts genteel.

[elpatoempatado]

Watched this a few months ago because I was bored.

Watching this now because I need to attend to a formal party.

[reple]

"Making sure people are comfortable within your presence".


*One of the most important things in life*

[Gyudles]

“If you travel abroad, be aware of the cultural differences...”

Here in Japan slurping is good manners.

[vidaliasoleil]

Take small bites so you can quickly swallow and respond to questions if asked. I am in the US and was taught to never butter the entire piece of bread at once, and always break off a piece, butter it, put down your knife, then pop the small piece of bread in your mouth. I was also taught that in the US you don't hold your knife in your hand while eating (in the continental style), because it looks aggressive, makes you eat faster, you might accidentally gesture with your knife holding hand, and you can't put your hand in your lap (American style) if you are holding a knife! You are so right, being gracious and forgiving is the best table manner of all.

[jsantiago]

I really appreciate these manners; my dad made sure to teach them to me, as he had learned them from our great aunt. I suppose our family took a lot of pride in table etiquette. I found out it was due to one of our relatives being a former teacher on the Spanish royal court. The last reminder is the best; it's simply rude to chastise and criticize guests or hosts especially at an informal affair. It's great to show off skills, but not at the expense of others esteem and comfort. The point of etiquette is to create a comfortable and fun atmosphere.

[apterous]

the most important table manner would be to not react negatively if someone does something that you perceive as bad table manners.

[mimisam]

So...my dad taught me well. 99% of what you showed here is what I learned from my father. I was raised in Japan and U.S. I am blessed to have appreciation for both culture. Thank you!

[practicalpen]

You just summarized my childhood in less than 20 minutes. My parents were very strict with manners, and now as an adult they come naturally to me. The only conflict I had growing up was that my parents divorced early on: my Dad had (and expected) Continental manners, while my Mom had (and expected) American manners. So if I mixed them up and used the "wrong" manners with either of them, I would get into serious trouble. Thank you for sharing this important knowledge with others!

[jacquelineholly]

Created a course based on this video for my kids. You did a great job demonstrating both the correct and incorrect etiquette. THANK YOU SIR.

A few years ago I went for a trip on the Canberra cruise liner (age 14), all the meals were formal. I was initially quite concerned that there may be something I was unaware of at meal times. Seems that my parents had trained me up to the required standards when I was a kid, and nothing cropped up that was unexpected. Correct table manners are something that people should learn as kids.

[gabrielegenota]

me watching this on bed, eating a plate of fish with a spoon: *_"Interesting"_*

[TheCatInTheHat]

Thank you for a great video! As a blind person, I greatly appreciate all the detailed descriptions. I even got to find out how you were dressed. Beautiful! You almost never see that anymore.